I also posted in relationships yesterday but had no replies.
I have pondered if I should post for a while now and have decided now is the time as I have nobody else I feel comfortable speaking too.
DH and I have been together for 16years. We have a happy relationship, communicate freely, have our own hobbies and shared hobbies.
In the last 6 months or so he has such little intetest in me sexually. We have had a good, fulfilling sex life for the entire relationship including after our 3 DC's were born.
I am as sure as I can be that he is not having an affair (drop into his workplace often, open access to his phone ect).
He has been to the GP as the lack of libido was bothering him as much as me. One lot of bloods have come back normal, waiting on the second set of results.
My question is what do I do? We have spoken and DH say we can still have sex and that he enjoys it when it happens but he just doesn't think about it. But tbh I now hate instigating as I feel like he is going through the motions like a box ticking exercise. So now DH doesn't instigate as he doesn't think about it and I don't instigate as I feel like I am pressuring him.
How do we move past this or can't we?
What do I do?
Ahhhhhbisto · 15/06/2023 13:54
SummerInSun · 15/06/2023 14:13
Are you deliberately setting up a reverse? Because this is how many women feel especially during menopause and the men are expected to be (a) understanding that lots of people want less sex as they age and (b) instigate and encourage in the ways they know their partner likes if they get a positive reception.
If your husband really wasn't into it he would be having performance issues, so it sounds like he does get into it when you instigate. So do that - shouldn't all be on him to make the first move - it's not 1850.
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