Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How to thank someone for avoiding a major accident

46 replies

newnamechangeforthisone · 13/06/2023 21:35

My son was hit by a bus yesterday, he's ok, escaped with minor injuries and severe concussion. Was a case of my child's brakes failing and he came down the hill and off the pavement and onto the bus. The bus drivers reactions must have been pretty instant given how close he came to being under that tyre. I didn't get to really speak to him as he was being interviewed by police and air ambulance arrived and we had to leave.

How do you thank someone for not running your child over? He must have had a huge shock! Poor man.

OP posts:
ginoclocksomewhere · 13/06/2023 22:26

Jifmicroliquid · 13/06/2023 22:24

I’d definitely let the bus company know your son is ok, so they can let the driver know. He must be in a right state of shock about it and it might help him deal with it a bit easier if he knows your son is going to be ok.
I hope you are ok too, what a dreadful shock you have had aswell x

This.

Why anyone would try to talk OP out of it is madness. It's a thoughtful and decent thing to do! Hmm

ginoclocksomewhere · 13/06/2023 22:27

Also, I hope your DS is doing ok!

wildfirewonder · 13/06/2023 22:28

ginoclocksomewhere · 13/06/2023 22:26

This.

Why anyone would try to talk OP out of it is madness. It's a thoughtful and decent thing to do! Hmm

Show quote history

The driver already knows, because the police have informed the company.

I only suggested the op wait until the shock has passed. When in shock it is sensible to just stay calm.

Sending addresses etc is bonkers.

MeinKraft · 13/06/2023 22:29

Sorry. I don't think I worded my post well. My point was that he'll be worrying that he will be blamed and have to go to court for hitting your son - this happens even if it was accidental and the driver is not to blame. The main thing for him would be peace of mind that your son is ok and he won't have a court case looming over him.

piedbeauty · 13/06/2023 22:29

Your son's brakes failed? Did they?

Original poster
newnamechangeforthisone · 13/06/2023 22:32

@wildfirewonder he doesn't really. Police said they can't pass details on of his condition. Someone said that the bus company contacted the hospital but they wouldn't give details as not family. I don't know how true the second bit is though, but I know the police person told DH they couldn't give details.

OP posts:
whereaw · 13/06/2023 22:32

Possibly in addition to personal message of thanks I might consider a message of thanks on social media. It's not usually my thing but if you hear of rumours and negative comments about the bus driver, it would clear things up and put any wider anxiety at ease for him. So glad your son is ok. It must have been terrifying to arrive at that scene.

MeinKraft · 13/06/2023 22:32

'Why anyone would try to talk OP out of it is madness'

It's actually quite sound advice. If her son has taken a knock to the head for example, it could take time for the extent of his injuries to reveal themselves. If he turns out to have an injury that they want compensated for, it won't do them any favours to have written a gushing letter about how the driver was in no way at fault.

Original poster
newnamechangeforthisone · 13/06/2023 22:34

piedbeauty · 13/06/2023 22:29

Your son's brakes failed? Did they?

What a weird comment? Not sure what you're trying to imply???

OP posts:
lostinmaze · 13/06/2023 22:35

My ds was run over when he was young after he ran out into the road.. The driver stopped instantly so that he was only knocked over gently, it was a 4×4 so could easily have done some damage. I was very shook up at the time, as I'm sure the driver was, so I didn't even have a chance to speak to them whilst the ambulance was on the way. However afterwards, the police interviewed me and I told them it wasn't the drivers fault, and if anything they had averted a bad accident with quick actions, and my ds was unharmed aside a little bruising . I asked them to pass this on to the driver along with my thanks as I didn't have the details to do it myself. Maybe do something similar? I always remember thinking they must have felt awful even though they weren't at fault because I'm a driver and know exactly how I'd feel if the roles were reversed, I wanted them to know it wasn't their fault.

BigCheekBitch · 13/06/2023 22:37

I agree with those saying to let shock pass before you do much.

In the meantime I would ask the police to pass an update to the driver about your son's health.

Original poster
newnamechangeforthisone · 13/06/2023 22:37

MeinKraft · 13/06/2023 22:32

'Why anyone would try to talk OP out of it is madness'

It's actually quite sound advice. If her son has taken a knock to the head for example, it could take time for the extent of his injuries to reveal themselves. If he turns out to have an injury that they want compensated for, it won't do them any favours to have written a gushing letter about how the driver was in no way at fault.

Why would I seek compensation from the bus company when they had no blame? It was my son, going down a hill on the pavement, avoiding a bin, breaks failed, probably going too fast and he lost control. Just an accident. Bus was just going it merry way l under the speed limit.

OP posts:
qlpeom · 13/06/2023 22:41

It's so clear the posters who would see this as a money making opportunity. Gross individuals!!

Original poster
newnamechangeforthisone · 13/06/2023 22:43

lostinmaze · 13/06/2023 22:35

My ds was run over when he was young after he ran out into the road.. The driver stopped instantly so that he was only knocked over gently, it was a 4×4 so could easily have done some damage. I was very shook up at the time, as I'm sure the driver was, so I didn't even have a chance to speak to them whilst the ambulance was on the way. However afterwards, the police interviewed me and I told them it wasn't the drivers fault, and if anything they had averted a bad accident with quick actions, and my ds was unharmed aside a little bruising . I asked them to pass this on to the driver along with my thanks as I didn't have the details to do it myself. Maybe do something similar? I always remember thinking they must have felt awful even though they weren't at fault because I'm a driver and know exactly how I'd feel if the roles were reversed, I wanted them to know it wasn't their fault.

How awful for you too. Hope he was ok? I did pass that on and I briefly saw the driver and thanked him as I went into the ambulance. He looked pretty shook up.

OP posts:
cadink · 13/06/2023 22:53

If you know the bus company it'd be pretty easy to track down. You could just call or email them and ask for the details of the driver who was involved in an incident on x street at x time on x day and they should be able to find out who it was. I'd also include you want to say thank you so they don't think you're trying to have a go or anything

BlowDryRat · 13/06/2023 22:57

I'd be in bits of I hit someone while driving, my fault or not. Please do contact the bus company let them know your DS is ok. You could follow it up with a thankyou card for the driver.

Best wishes for your DS' speedy recovery.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/06/2023 23:04

I agree with @MeinKraft and @wildfirewonder

OP says he's ok, escaped with minor injuries and severe concussion.

It's still a serious accident. Of course, it could have been worse & thank goodness it wasn't.

Of course you are grateful to the driver. However, you are in shock & your DS is injured. You need to take a little time.

It's better to wait a while & in time appropriately provide an update. Let matters be for now.

I hope your DS is better soon & you all recover from the shock.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/06/2023 23:04

whereaw · 13/06/2023 22:32

Possibly in addition to personal message of thanks I might consider a message of thanks on social media. It's not usually my thing but if you hear of rumours and negative comments about the bus driver, it would clear things up and put any wider anxiety at ease for him. So glad your son is ok. It must have been terrifying to arrive at that scene.

Don't post on social media.

WetBandits · 13/06/2023 23:14

If you know the driver is in shock and off work worrying if he’s played any part in causing life changing injuries to your son then I absolutely would pass a message to him via his employer that your son is recovering thanks to his quick reaction! Thank you for thinking of him as well as looking after your own boy ❤️

tommika · 13/06/2023 23:29

@newnamechangeforthisone
Absolutely go with your first thoughts and get a message to the driver via the bus company.

Any level of motor accident comes with its level of trauma, and the ‘what might have been’ can be worse than what actually happened.

After an accident I witnessed I was called by one of the drivers sons to thank me for ‘rescuing’ his father who had been ‘trapped’ in his van
Whereas what actually happened was a head on collision occurred in front of me at the centre of a main road with two vehicles both turning right. They both went into the middle area at the same time, this particular driver hit his head and also crushed his wedding ring on his finger with some bleeding on both head and finger. The sight of blood panicked him and he also couldn’t open the door

All I did was to open the door, look him over and told him to get out, come to the side of the road and calmed both drivers down whilst calling 999
Perception was different with a combination of the confusion and realisation of what could have happened. It was just nice to be thanked, even though it was minor

In your drivers case it will give a combination of just being thanked and reassurance that you credit his reactions to preventing a much worse outcome

thisisallquitecomplicated · 13/06/2023 23:31

WetBandits · 13/06/2023 23:14

If you know the driver is in shock and off work worrying if he’s played any part in causing life changing injuries to your son then I absolutely would pass a message to him via his employer that your son is recovering thanks to his quick reaction! Thank you for thinking of him as well as looking after your own boy ❤️

This, that man may be eating himself up, wondering whether he just maimed a child for life. It was not his fault, but it may not feel this way to him. I think OP is completely right to try to get in touch with him quite quickly to put his mind at ease. Good on you, OP, and wishing you and your family a lot of strength and the young man a speedy recovery!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page