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Original poster

How do you stop ruminating?

35 replies

CrazilySensitive · 13/06/2023 18:32

I'm stuck in a bit of a rumination loop. I can't stop thinking about upsetting things. It can go on for days and days.
Sometimes very minor things, and I waste so much time going over them.
Anyway, does anyone else have this problem, and do you have any strategies to stop?
I've got OCD and anxiety generally.

OP posts:
Pringle2223 · 09/11/2023 20:10

Hey @CrazilySensitive, did you manage to get through this?

Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 17/11/2023 04:16

Pringle2223 · 09/11/2023 20:10

Hey @CrazilySensitive, did you manage to get through this?

I think it may be a lifelong struggle unfortunately! Though I only tend to ruminate on a particular thing for a while, and then move on to the next worry! Do you have a similar issue?

OP posts:
motheroreily · 17/11/2023 04:20

I have OCD and rumination is my main compulsion. I found medication really helped. I feel alot better because rumination is so exhausted.
What have you tried to help so far?

Blueeyedmale · 17/11/2023 04:40

Medication can help I also find mindfulness and relaxation techniques to be extremely helpful

IDontHateRainbows · 17/11/2023 05:10

I get this and I haven't found any other solution but time unfortunately. After a while whatever is causing me to ruminate blows itself out but it can take a few weeks.

Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 17/11/2023 12:06

IDontHateRainbows · 17/11/2023 05:10

I get this and I haven't found any other solution but time unfortunately. After a while whatever is causing me to ruminate blows itself out but it can take a few weeks.

Same. Occasionally it comes back, but generally gets taken over by a new worry

OP posts:
IDontHateRainbows · 17/11/2023 16:41

On second thoughts I recently had a bad rumination situation, very stressful life event, and I went on escitalopram. I don't know if it wd that or the passing of time but I seem a lot less bothered about what happened to me. I still think about it occasionally but in a less emotionally involved way. So that may be worth considering if its affecting your life.

Aurasauras · 17/11/2023 17:36

Think of something randomly silly and funny. Realise you control and choose your thoughts and you choose your reality.

Pringle2223 · 17/11/2023 20:05

@motheroreily what medication are you on xx

RainbowUtensils · 17/11/2023 20:42

I found having a "worry time" set aside each day helped a bit. Each time your mind goes back to ruminating you tell yourself "no, not allowed to think about this until worry time" at 6pm or whenever is a good time in the day for you. Then at 6pm til 7pm you're "allowed" to ruminate (and end up not really doing so).

I guess it's a type of mindfulness as it brings you back into the present and stops you allowing space in your mind for those thoughts, as the more you allow them the stronger those thought pathways become. It doesn't always work as you know you're trying to trick yourself out of rumination, but it can help.

Also physical exercise, grounding techniques, and medication.

lljkk · 17/11/2023 20:47

I have learnt that a lot of problems solve themselves if you stop focusing on them, or another solution will present itself. Waiting & letting go solves so many things.

Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 19/11/2023 06:54

lljkk · 17/11/2023 20:47

I have learnt that a lot of problems solve themselves if you stop focusing on them, or another solution will present itself. Waiting & letting go solves so many things.

Thank you. That's good advice...

OP posts:
Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 19/11/2023 06:57

RainbowUtensils · 17/11/2023 20:42

I found having a "worry time" set aside each day helped a bit. Each time your mind goes back to ruminating you tell yourself "no, not allowed to think about this until worry time" at 6pm or whenever is a good time in the day for you. Then at 6pm til 7pm you're "allowed" to ruminate (and end up not really doing so).

I guess it's a type of mindfulness as it brings you back into the present and stops you allowing space in your mind for those thoughts, as the more you allow them the stronger those thought pathways become. It doesn't always work as you know you're trying to trick yourself out of rumination, but it can help.

Also physical exercise, grounding techniques, and medication.

Thank you for all of this. Really good advice 😊

OP posts:
Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 19/11/2023 07:00

If it is ruminating at night when going to sleep then listening to podcasts really helps because it is hard to listen to someone talking and have your own thoughts going on at the same time. Need the right balance between interesting enough but not too riveting.

Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 19/11/2023 07:01

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 19/11/2023 07:00

If it is ruminating at night when going to sleep then listening to podcasts really helps because it is hard to listen to someone talking and have your own thoughts going on at the same time. Need the right balance between interesting enough but not too riveting.

Oh, that's a great idea. It can be day or night, but yes, probably worse at night when trying to get to sleep. I'll look into suitable podcasts

OP posts:
Snoopystick · 19/11/2023 07:31

Hi, I do this and the only way I’ve found (not sure it’s a proper technique though) is to think of something incredibly boring but which takes some thinking. E.g I plan out an imaginary full week’s food menu in my head of all
my favourite foods or what I’d pack for a trip.

Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 21/11/2023 06:18

Snoopystick · 19/11/2023 07:31

Hi, I do this and the only way I’ve found (not sure it’s a proper technique though) is to think of something incredibly boring but which takes some thinking. E.g I plan out an imaginary full week’s food menu in my head of all
my favourite foods or what I’d pack for a trip.

Ah, that's a good idea. I'll try that. Thank you.
Funnily enough, I'm in the midst of a new rumination issue now. Something a friend said to the other day. She misunderstood me, and responded accordingly. No doubt she didn't give it another thought, and most people wouldn't be bothered. But I keep going over it. I hate being misunderstood. It'll pass eventually. I'll put some of the recommended techniques on this thread into practice ♥️

OP posts:
DGPP · 21/11/2023 06:22

my SIL has suffered with this for years tied to her depression. Anti-depressants help as does meditation and exercise. Sorry you are suffering

cutcopypastereplace · 21/11/2023 06:32

Following

AnyFucker · 21/11/2023 06:35

Sertraline

Reba767 · 21/11/2023 06:41

I'm not saying you have it but myself and my ds both have ocd. Part of the ocd isn't just checking/washing hands etc but constant rumination and it's exhausting. However I am in control of my ocd but spent years like yourself.
The technique I use is to sepetate the rumination/ocd from myself so I think of it as a seperate 'person' from myself, children in therapy often draw and name it. I think of myself against it. When I get an intrusive though/worry in my mind, I say in my mind or if I'm home alone I may say it out loud "I know you're there, I know what you're trying to do but you're not winning".
It's about allowing the thought to come in, acknowledge its there but then that's where it stays. The more you Google, seek reassurance, seek answers the longer it stays and you've given it fuel.
It's so hard though and it's taken years, but I feel like I've rewired my brain now. My ds suffers terribly though.

Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 21/11/2023 07:07

Reba767 · 21/11/2023 06:41

I'm not saying you have it but myself and my ds both have ocd. Part of the ocd isn't just checking/washing hands etc but constant rumination and it's exhausting. However I am in control of my ocd but spent years like yourself.
The technique I use is to sepetate the rumination/ocd from myself so I think of it as a seperate 'person' from myself, children in therapy often draw and name it. I think of myself against it. When I get an intrusive though/worry in my mind, I say in my mind or if I'm home alone I may say it out loud "I know you're there, I know what you're trying to do but you're not winning".
It's about allowing the thought to come in, acknowledge its there but then that's where it stays. The more you Google, seek reassurance, seek answers the longer it stays and you've given it fuel.
It's so hard though and it's taken years, but I feel like I've rewired my brain now. My ds suffers terribly though.

Thank you. I'm so sorry you and your son have had such a hard time. I'm glad you've found relief, and hope your son will soon too.
Yes, I do have OCD. Not the typical tidiness type. But a kind of moral perfectionism. I get very worried about thoughts and words etc. Very upset if I think I've done anything wrong. If I'm misunderstood, and falsely accused of anything I can't bear it at all. If I have an unpleasant intrusive thought, the guilt is paralysing. These are the kinds of things I ruminate about.

OP posts:
Reba767 · 21/11/2023 07:51

CrazilySensitive · 21/11/2023 07:07

Thank you. I'm so sorry you and your son have had such a hard time. I'm glad you've found relief, and hope your son will soon too.
Yes, I do have OCD. Not the typical tidiness type. But a kind of moral perfectionism. I get very worried about thoughts and words etc. Very upset if I think I've done anything wrong. If I'm misunderstood, and falsely accused of anything I can't bear it at all. If I have an unpleasant intrusive thought, the guilt is paralysing. These are the kinds of things I ruminate about.

Edited
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That's so hard and my ds is like that too. Every day he comes home and he thinks he's said something bad during the day and he's constantly wanting to know what's the right and wrong things to say, what's innapropriate and what isn't.
He had ERP therapy and he was told not to seek reassurance from me as that's a compulsion and he needs to sit on the anxiety and eventually it will get better. He also re plays things that have happened years ago.
Its very hard. I'd recommend ERP therapy and Sertraline which is what helped my son however the lady who did it left camhs and he needs some more erp really.
Sending you love, I know how hard it is. X

Original poster
CrazilySensitive · 21/11/2023 09:39

Reba767 · 21/11/2023 07:51

That's so hard and my ds is like that too. Every day he comes home and he thinks he's said something bad during the day and he's constantly wanting to know what's the right and wrong things to say, what's innapropriate and what isn't.
He had ERP therapy and he was told not to seek reassurance from me as that's a compulsion and he needs to sit on the anxiety and eventually it will get better. He also re plays things that have happened years ago.
Its very hard. I'd recommend ERP therapy and Sertraline which is what helped my son however the lady who did it left camhs and he needs some more erp really.
Sending you love, I know how hard it is. X

Show quote history

Thank you so much. Sending love to you and your son too x

OP posts:
SurfSmurf · 21/11/2023 10:26

I struggle massively with this too OP. I fall asleep ok - am always so tired! - but wake at night and instantly my mind is racing with 'to do' lists and going over things from the past, catastrophizing about the future (elderly, infirm relatives), feeling lots of nostalgia about my kids growing up and worrying about the things I've not done with them (and reliving the nice times too), worrying about the keepsakes / drawings etc I've misplaced.I worry a lot about 'where things are IYSWIM and worry about misplacing or losing sentimental things. But it eats into my day time too and I find it impossible to get past some thoughts and to be productive.