I just don't think I have the energy to parent 3-year-olds

[JustBeyondTired]

Just need to vent really.

I'm a SAHM to 3-year-old twins and BLOODY HELL they are hard work. They have so much energy I can't even explain it. I've tried everything - adjusting their diet, packing their days full to wear them out, doing less so as not to overstimulate them. Bringing bed time forward, pushing it back. They go to pre-school two days per week and there is no change between those days and other days. I suppose I get a break on those days, but somehow it isn't enough. I also have some help from family a couple of afternoons each week, which is more than some people get. Don't get me wrong, I adore those kids. But I am just so so tired and I need a week off!

Bed time is usually between 7 and 8, but they're up at the crack of dawn every single day. This morning was a new record - 4:30am. It's not even 7am and they've had three helpings of breakfast and about 27 fights.
Yes, they've got blackout blinds, they've got a gro clock and they know they're not supposed to get up until it's green. I know it's pretty normal but I'm just so worn out. DH has a demanding job so I'm on morning duty during the week, but I get one lay in at the weekend. I think I could sleep until lunch time if I let myself. I haven't got any health problems, it's pure exhaustion.

That's all, thank you for listening

What time do you go to bed? If they are early risers you need to get your sleep earlier too. Go to bed no later than 9 for a while, so you get some strength back. Then tackle the early waking. I would not be making endless cereal for children who get up in the middle of the night. Boring boring boring and back to bed until a decent hour (6.30am in my book, though that might take a while doing it gradually) is the way forward.

But 3 year old twins is bloody hard so please be kind to yourself!!

Oh god that age is the hardest IME. Doubly so with twins, they get each other going.

Mine are 22 now but I remember that age very clearly and it was very hard work.

Sorry no advice really other than it will improve and twins are fab.

Could they go to pre-school more?

What time did they get their first breakfast?

I get one lay in at the weekend. I think I could sleep until lunch time if I let myself why do you not let yourself? That sounds unhealthy if you need the sleep.

I totally understand it is exhausting. I was at times so tired I felt like I was losing my mind.

How can you get more rest? What do you do on the days they are in preschool for example? I used to sleep!

First off three year olds are hard work and you have two so I take my hat off to you.

I know you mentioned the gro clock but is there consequences if they don't follow it? I have a 3 year old and maybe I'm too harsh but she knows the rules of the clock and understands there's consequences if she doesn't follow it she won't get treats etc.
I wouldn't be cracking out any breakfast until 7am at least also. Maybe they are thinking they can get what they want by getting up earlier?

Ha would love to know what consequences. A lot of three year olds (and two year olds) really don’t care. Or they can’t really make the link between the ‘consequence’ and waking up early.

@Elderflowerraspberry we won't be going to softplay if you don't stay in bed until the clock goes yellow. Literally something simply spelled out like that. Works in my house anyway.

Mines two and a half and there is no way he’d make the association between not going to soft play and waking up early.

Dts have always been early risers, still are at 11. When they were in the really hideous 430am stage I went to bed by 9pm.

Gro clocks / clocks made not a hot of difference.

I'm guessing you are blacking out all light into the room?

Sympathies it is exhausting, but it does get better!

3 year old twins here too, so completely get it! I have mine (and baby) on a thurs/ fri and find those days EXHAUSTING. Can they do half days at pre school instead of 2 full days?

Gosh that is tough! Can you go back to work and put them into nursery? In the meantime my only tips in addition to what you're doing already is to be outside as much as you can and to really work on getting them to treat each other kindly, work out conflicts between them (things like swapping toys rather than snatching), and play well together so that they can entertain each other - at least once they're a little older. It does get easier.

My 2/3 (3 on Sunday) has always been an early riser and has a glo clock. If he comes out of his room before wake up time I get up and walk him back to bed. Say as little as possible something like it's still sleep time and point to the clock and leave him to it, I don't mind what he then does in his room (sleep/play) as long as he is in him room. It took it's time but he does now stay in bed until 6.
Then we have tv cuddles and milk in bed and no breakfast before 7. People may not agree with tele in the mornings but it's what me and DH did before he was born.
I only have one and I find it exhausting so please be kind to yourself and if you need to sleep in do

I wasn't really expecting any replies to this, so thank you all very much for your kind words, reassurance and advice
It just helps to feel heard sometimes! X

Oh god OP no useful advice as sounds like you're trying it all but just to say that I hear you. Parenting one 3 year old was tough never mind double that! All I will say is that I found even without any particular intervention parenting got drastically easier between 3 and 4 and continued to improve exponentially.

My goodness if my son was a twin I'd be driven mad! Even today at 19 he is up at 6am to get to the gym before work and is go go go all day.
I do know a woman who had three identical triplet boys, and then went in to have another child!
You have my empathy and hang in there - is it school next year?

When my DS was three he went into the bathroom, climbed on a stool, opened the bathroom cabinet, took out a pair of nail scissors, and cut the wire on his GroClock. Living with a three year old is like living in a Mission Impossible movie and I cannot imagine what it’s like with two of them. I used to take him to the park all the time with his sister and have a bet with myself that I wouldn’t leave until they asked me to go home. It NEVER happened. Ever. They didn’t care about food, water, sun cream, hats - nothing. I felt like I was just there to stop them turning into raisins. The good news is that it does get better as they become more independent, and they become a lot more fun. It is normal to be tired, but if this is excessive have a think about whether you’re getting all the nutrients you need, especially iron and zinc. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and you need to care for yourself so you can care for them. They are amazing and will bring you great joy.

Aww 3 yr old twins who wake at 4.30am and only two preschool days is really hard. Can they do more preschool?
I don't have twins and still found the baby/toddler age a huge struggle and still feel exhausted by the relentlessness of it all even though they're both at school.
I imagine getting them to stay in bed will be trickier for twins than singles so hopefully some other two parents will be along with some advice on that.
But overall just be really kind to yourself, it is normal to find this hard...

This is why I love teenagers. I mean they are overgrown ever-eating smelly 3 year olds with zits & interest in sex, but fundamentally we can banter & laugh, too.

Sympathies. This too Shall Pass.

I feel your pain OP 😂 my twins are 2.5 and I have an older child too, working full time and a single parent to boot 😥

I think it's the heat at the moment - my twins sleep are all over the place - my food bills are outrageous as they are constantly hungry and the heat is making them all more fractious with each other!

No advice as I'm just winging (surviving!) it - just sending you solidarity x