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Original poster

The true reason.

10 replies

Kidsdad23 · 12/06/2023 22:37

I made a thread a couple of weeks ago called kids Dad does not feel a part of things. So it's sort of following from that one.

So he came weekend just gone. He was staying from Friday to Monday morning. Everything was fine . People just joking about, playing, music on etc. Teen DS was a bit of a pain he just does not stop and is very draining. But things was OK generally.

Then partner says hes gonna go early in the morning. Which was sunday . I really could not be bothered to question him he went to bed before me and was asleep. I could not sleep at all ended up with 2 hours sleep.

anyway just after 6am i hear him getting up . I asked him what is going on. Why are you actually leaving. He says i just cant do the gay stuff. I replied what ever and let him go . I felt angry at that point.

So my 16 year old is gay . He has had his boyfriend over, they do things like hug. Sit together in a hug type way. A little flirting but to to over the top and they have the odd kiss.

So this is what partner left over. He said he does not have a problem if its behinde closed doors. It should not be in kids faces. I pointed out that we have kissed infrom of the kids. Apparently it's different they should not be seeing 2 teenage boys kiss. And he said if my dd was gay he would feel the same.

I told him that he's homophobic. That from now I'm he sees his 2 boys every other weekend . That he's no longer welcome in.my home. And there's no popping in during the week to see the 2 boys.

His reply was so make the boys miss out make them suffer.Because of teen Ds. I then pointed out to him. That he had chosen to leave even though he Told the kids he was taking them to the park so it's him who made them miss out. I also pointed out to him. That leaving was not even logic the 2 teenagers are gonna kiss weather your here or not.

Just to add the reason I told him he can't pop in during the week is because. He lives around 90 mins away. So he would want to stay because its to much messing around and time getting late etc. I don't want him in my house.

Also my other son is also gay .but he's OK with him . But only because he does not bring his boyfriend home kissing him. But my son is a private person anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kidsdad23 · 13/06/2023 09:43

Thought I would bump this as it was kind of late.

OP posts:
Stickycurrantbun · 13/06/2023 09:53

He is homophobic. He needs to work on his issues and get over the fact that gay people hug/kiss, same as heterosexual people and no-one has to hide their true selves behind closed doors. You're sticking up for your DS. Well done for putting in clear boundaries.

Lissadell · 13/06/2023 10:00

Absolutely he’s homophobic, but I can’t decide his status from your post — is he the father of your children and/or your current partner? Or an ex who stays with you to see his children?

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Original poster
Kidsdad23 · 13/06/2023 10:04

Lissadell · 13/06/2023 10:00

Absolutely he’s homophobic, but I can’t decide his status from your post — is he the father of your children and/or your current partner? Or an ex who stays with you to see his children?

This is complicated ... he were together as in partners but we never lived together. But he's no longer my partner in anyway shape or form from now on. He is the father of my 7 and 8 year old boys .

OP posts:
Original poster
Kidsdad23 · 13/06/2023 11:44

Stickycurrantbun · 13/06/2023 09:53

He is homophobic. He needs to work on his issues and get over the fact that gay people hug/kiss, same as heterosexual people and no-one has to hide their true selves behind closed doors. You're sticking up for your DS. Well done for putting in clear boundaries.

Thank you . I think he just needs to stay away now. And just see his 2 kids that he has with me. At his mother's house because he's not staying here.

OP posts:
lysozyme · 13/06/2023 13:06

If his kids miss out by him not coming round is his fault for being a homophoic arsewipe. Better the kids aren't around someone like that anyway?

Does he make homophobic comments in front of your son? Or in front of the younger kids?

Original poster
Kidsdad23 · 13/06/2023 13:39

lysozyme · 13/06/2023 13:06

If his kids miss out by him not coming round is his fault for being a homophoic arsewipe. Better the kids aren't around someone like that anyway?

Does he make homophobic comments in front of your son? Or in front of the younger kids?

Exactly he choose to leave.

Hes likely to say things like boys have girl friends when they are older. Not boyfriends. That type of things.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kidsdad23 · 13/06/2023 17:45

Would this be wrong of me? When kids dad has them for the weekend. He will sometimes change what weekend he has them like if something comes up or he's been invited somewhere. I normally just say yes it's fine. To be honest I'm not normally doing anything that would mean i can't have my own kids.

The thing I'm fed up with is acommodating him and everything made easy for him and handed on a plate. No one hands things on a plate to me I just have to get on with it. Also if he's tired from work and needs a break or Ill. What do I do then. Like if I'm ill I still have to have my kids . And if I'm tired same thing I have to have them no matter what.

I was thinking if he chooses not to see them on the date he should I should make him wait till his next date.

Actually I cam see I'm not being nice at all. And it would effect my kids which would not be fair. But how can I do it so things are not handed on a plate to him.

OP posts:
poweredbysteam · 13/06/2023 18:34

Kidsdad23 · 13/06/2023 17:45

Would this be wrong of me? When kids dad has them for the weekend. He will sometimes change what weekend he has them like if something comes up or he's been invited somewhere. I normally just say yes it's fine. To be honest I'm not normally doing anything that would mean i can't have my own kids.

The thing I'm fed up with is acommodating him and everything made easy for him and handed on a plate. No one hands things on a plate to me I just have to get on with it. Also if he's tired from work and needs a break or Ill. What do I do then. Like if I'm ill I still have to have my kids . And if I'm tired same thing I have to have them no matter what.

I was thinking if he chooses not to see them on the date he should I should make him wait till his next date.

Actually I cam see I'm not being nice at all. And it would effect my kids which would not be fair. But how can I do it so things are not handed on a plate to him.

It sounds like he's all take and no give. If he's so tired from work he can't be arsed to have his kids then tough, he either has them when he's supposed to or doesn't have them at all. If he has a problem with your son being gay he doesn't get to go into your house, you don't have to make arrangements to accommodate that.

Original poster
Kidsdad23 · 13/06/2023 18:41

poweredbysteam · 13/06/2023 18:34

It sounds like he's all take and no give. If he's so tired from work he can't be arsed to have his kids then tough, he either has them when he's supposed to or doesn't have them at all. If he has a problem with your son being gay he doesn't get to go into your house, you don't have to make arrangements to accommodate that.

Show quote history

Him not coming in my house I'm 100% gee not. He does not need to .

But it would feel very unfair to the kids to say he can't see them till the next time so it would be a month he did not see them for. Maybe I could just do it the once and he might see I'm not messing about... I don't know it feels cruel to the kids 😢

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