Long term Sahm to 80% - experiences lease.

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Tell me the realities of going from sahm for 13 years to 80%/33hrs15. How did you cope? More importantly, how did the DC cope with the change?

What? Do you mean you didn't work when your dc were in primary, but will once they're in secondary? Like billions of other families? There's nothing to 'cope' with.

How old are your dc op? If they're young, what are your new childcare arrangements?

Last year primary, first year secondary. DH will be able to wfh once, sometimes twice a week. I'd have to leave at 640, so when he's not, they'll need to get themselves up and out to school. Get home at lunch and get themselves something to eat, get themselves back to school in the afternoon. Make sure they take their kit/bus tickets with them for their afternoon activities so they can go straight on the bus after school or get home/homework/get out to e.g. music lesson on time. Get themselves home again.

This is just normal life op - as kids get older they do more.

@arethereanyleftatall thanks for the sarcastic response. I think you're wrong though. I do think there will be a lot or changes and sudden increase in responsibility for them to cope with and was asking for other people's experiences.

There will be adjustments for all of the family.

Routine is the answer - making sure everything is organised for the week ahead. Maybe think about the DC staying in school over lunchtime and having either packed lunch or school lunches.
Cleaning rota.
Clear understanding of who is taking who to which after school clubs.
Sort out your Annual Leave dates well in advance.
Have a back up plan for pick ups etc.

Its honestly fine once you've got a routine that everyone understands.

I disagree with pp, I think it will be quite a big change for your dc. Are they confident on the buses etc? They'll get used to it in no time but getting everything ready (they can do it)the night before will help. Can they stay at school for lunch? I went back to work after a shorter but still significant time as a SAHM but our arrangements made it much less of an upheaval for the dc(yours are older though!).

Why do they have to come home at lunch time? Let them have school dinners and that will remove at least one thing they have to do.

@Gazelda @InDubiousBattle no they can't, there isn't any. The eldest is getting there, the youngest not really. I'm working on it.

Sorry, that wasn't clear. There are no school lunches, and the school buildings are closed at lunchtime. There is no supervision on school grounds and children are expected to leave.
Eldest is getting used to going alone on buses, youngest not confident yet.

When do you start? Can you implement the new regime now, whilst you're still around to iron out any issues?

Dts are y7 and they don't leave the house without one of us here or let themselves in. Mostly because I am worried they won't shut our crappy front door properly and the dog will get out.

They also can't be trusted to not dick about with each other eg on the trampoline or in the stairs. How do your kids get on? Can the older one collect the younger one?

We both work ft but I have adjusted my hours so I am here in the morning and gps are here two days a week when they get
Home when I'm in the office. DH is a teacher so no flexibility.

No, the younger one doesn't need collecting, is more independent and responsible than the elder (SN). Youngest will be locking up, although both will probably have a key. Mostly get on ok together although they have their moments...

Do neither of their school's offer lunch? You say one is at primary (final year) and the other secondary. Will they both be going to the same school from September?

That's too much for a primary school child, can't their dad drop at school, most have breakfast clubs or open the canteen (secondary) from 8am.

@Gazelda neither school offers lunch. Secondary has a 2 hour lunch break so kids can go home. Dc1 will be starting secondary and DC2 will be going into last year of primary (currently both at primary).

I'm guessing you are not in the UK?
Any other useful context? Eg: do you live on a secure compound for example? Are your DCs the same ages as UK kids rising into final year of primary and first yr secondary?
(I ask as there's an extra year of primary in Ireland. Children start secondary in yr 8.)

Not the same as I'm not a Sahm but due to the pandemic now largely work from home. School policy is that primary age children don't walk themselves to school until their final term. It's not a lot of time to grow up 😂

I think the consequences weirdly are that they are far less independent than we were at that age. Constantly chivvied to get out the door to school, little notion of time management (and consequences)

Can you start to fake it? Lots of lunchtime meetings? Make them prepare their own lunches (night before if necessary)
Have you got an Alexa? You can set throat up with alarms to remind them to get moving.

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams DC2 is turning 12 near the end of the next academic year. No secure compound. DC1 is older, but has SN so is on a par with DC2 who is slightly more sensible and able to tell the time. Ours have walked alone to primary for years, but actually getting them out... Constantly chivvied to get out the door to school, little notion of time management This is my life!

You're evidently not UK.
So can you clarify how old the DC are? And am I correct in thinking the eldest is still at primary (now) but will be first year of secondary next school year when you start work?
When is the academic year? Schools in UK run Sept-July. Is it the same in your country?
Do you mean that both the DC will be travelling home by bus at lunchtime and then back again within 2 hours? How long is the journey?
What do other families in your location do?
What time will you be home each evening?

Academic year August - July.
Secondary school is by bus, primary is close by home, a few minutes walk.
Most go home for lunch. Split between sahm, wfh parents and extended family. Think a lot of secondary must sort themselves out. One or two younger children do as well. Home without adult, baby sat by screens.
1815 or 1845

Try gousto.

It will be a shock. Once you push through it you will be fine.

Go to bed on time

Get everyone to pitch in

Batch cook every now and then

Good luck

Just a thought but do either of them have good friends you could create a reciprocal arrangement with? I'll feed yours on a Monday when I wfh if they go to you on a Tuesday and so on?

You've also been long enough out of the workforce. No where in this do you talk about your husband stepping up. Can he do earlier/later starts and finish earlier on some days?

The whole bus home thing is bizarre but 12 is a bit young to be parking in a coffee shop unsupervised 5 days a week. Bit of a safeguarding risk. Have you approached the school to see what the kids do who live too far away? Parents WhatsApp group?

Sorry , just reread that your husband will be wfh 2 days a week but sounds like you have no flex at all?

Ring doorbell is great. You can literally stalk your kids arriving and leaving. Microphone feature to remind them to lock the door properly 😉

Ditto with a video Alexa. You can call them from your phone or "drop in" in the kitchen and see what's happening.

Lunches made the night before. No ovens or microwaves ideally.
Basic first aid - scalds, cuts etc.
Again, an Alexa call feature or Siri set up will mean they can call for help hands free if needed.

Trustworthy neighbour - someone you can call if you are worried they've left the back door wide open?

Any pets? Dogwalker daily who picks up as they leave, locks up after them and leaves with the dog.

Mostly though trust that they will get there. It might take one or two detentions for lateness but they'll figure it out.
For our oldest, dyslexic and a complete dreamer we use an alarm on a basic smartwatch and a mobile phone - set up a digital calendar with alerting for music lesson, time to go back to school. Got to bed. Etc
With two devices there's more chance she'll have one and she's not allowed to carry her phone during the day

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams no, no flex at all plus 1 hour commute each way.