I'm a recovering emetophobic and my DS has just thrown up everywhere. Help me stay calm and not lose the plot.

[OhForFucksFuckingSake]

As the title says really.

I've spent over a decade and many many hours of talking therapy, hypnotherapy and CBT to get to a point where my phobia is just about manageable. But for some reason tonight has caught me off guard and I can feel myself on the brink of fully freaking out.

DH has dealt with the messy stuff brilliantly, it doesn't bother him. But I don't want DC to pick up on the fact that I'm silently and internally trying not to lose the plot and run out of the front door and straight to the nearest hotel.

Any words of wisdom or hand holding to help me get a grip?

So you didn't even have to clean anything up?

No. I'm a huge coward.

I'm also wrestling with a phobia that has really affected my life over the years. It's caused me to have an eating disorder and be borderline agoraphobic at one point. I wish so much that it would just fuck off.

What techniques have you been given?

I understand. The worst is over though. If it happens again you'll be on guard and will catch it in a bowl/have towels down etc. I don't know what the worst element is for you, but if it's fear that you'll catch it then with kids we so often don't- they are busy working their way through germs we've all been exposed to already. So try and stay busy perhaps? It's going to be fine.

You may be overthinking it

If in the same scenario the mam had cleaned up and the dad had backed off not many people would even think the dad would need to justify that

But you do need to think about how you would have reacted if you were on your own and there wasn't an alternative

Rationalisation - control what I can control, eg hygiene etc. breathing techniques for the anxiety.

I'm struggling to remember right now because ironically im a bit panicky and im drawing a blank.

A phobia isn't rational so it doesn't matter if you had to clean anything yourself or not.

How old is your DS?

Try to think of where your fear is taking you, is it taking you to bring scared of becoming ill yourself? To the thought of the house being unlean? Etc.

Once you've identified that try thinking calmly and rationally step by step what you will do if that does happen.

When this happened with my DD I took myself away from her for a little bit to follow these steps and calm down, then looked through photos of her on previous days to remind me of her cute non pukey day to day self. Then I went back in and forced myself to take care of her until she got over her tummy bug (luckily only 24 hour thing but not fun!)

The worst thing wouldn't be you catching the bug it'd be you letting this set your recovery back. As a fellow sufferer I've let it ruin so many things, so much more than the occasional bug would have. Try and deep breathe, distract yourself and remind yourself of CBT techniques.

I think the main thing I'm scared of is that I'll catch it and I'll have no help. DH works two hours away and it's very difficult (although not impossible) for him to take time off to help. It's just fortunate today is a weekend day and he's here.

I have literally no other help nearby and the thought of having to be ill and look after the kids on my own feels terrifying for some reason. Even though, if I break it down I'm sure it would be fine and I'd cope, it just feels very scary.

Most importantly remind yourself that you will be OK and you will get through this

Thank you everyone.

Cut yourself some slack.
Your child is being cared for, give yourself some times to work through your feelings

You can do this! As someone with OCD I know how it feels to have a fear of something which seems totally irrational. This is a huge trigger but try to see it as an opportunity to put all your skills into practice. You’re stronger than you know 💛

You know what? It'd be shit but you'd manage. It would NOT be worse than the panic and worry of the phobia.

I really hope things get better for you and your lo to feel better soon ❤️