I feel so guilty. There's is a hell of alot that's gone on for years and it seems to be long term. My daughter went through domestic violence. Almost had her child taken away. Still have Social services involved 2+ years later although they have tonned down alot . My daughter often finds it hard to cope with her 5 year old. And relys on me quite heavy I have her youngest who's a couple months old . Almost every morning. Plus she finds her 5 year old hard to cope with she's either messaging me or calling me over what's going on. It worries me alot I get extremely stressed and upset when she does this. Then within the hour she doing selfie etc and I can't work out when there's a true problem and when there's not. It's also the same thing over and over and it never changes.
Then I have my 16 year old he's always been a big handful he has been very aggressive and violent towards me. To the point I have been scared of him. Me and my other children can't live a normal standard life. Things like him and my 12 year old can't be left in the same house alone I mean not at all. I could not even pop to the local shop for a pint of milk . Dd has to meet me after school for the same reason this puts another 40 mins on the journey. They can't be in the kitchen together. Several months back 16 year old tried to end his life . Which triggered CAMHS to kick in although we had been begging for help for a long time. His psychologist has spoken about emotional disregulation? And ADHD.
Ds drains me so much he does not stop he will not leave me. He has to be involved with everything. Even if it has nothing to do with him and no effect on him. Them there's his general hyper stuff. He's bouncing of the walls constantly and his over talking interfering in everything.
Just to note DS is not in school.
Then i have my sort of partner ( I don't even know what to call him) he does not live with me but comes over regularly stays etc . You can tell from a million miles that he hates the situation with my kids. I don't enjoy it myself. But the vibes I pick up from him are awful. I can tell he's stropping because he does things like go home a day early because he can't cope basically and my son drives him mad . And DS friend has been staying over and you can tell from miles he does not life him. I don't feel like I can rely on him for any form of support at all .
I do know the answer when it comes to sort of partner. But I feel so upset that I have live this life . Not one person offers me any understanding what so ever. I just get more and more put on to me weather its emotional stuff practical stuff or daily stuff its all on to me, everything.
No ever offers me any form of support or even just checks in. It's just take take take. Not that theu could there's no magic wound sadly but I just wish my family would see the shit I take from them the stuff I cope with day in day out.