Do You Make A Big Deal Of Fathers Day?

[RabbitsRock]

I always get DF a card & small gift such as a really good bottle of red wine or something for his golfing. He’s not really one for a fuss. Sometimes we’ll have a cream tea or a takeaway.
Sadly DD14 has very little relationship with DH & hasn’t bothered at all for about the last 4 years. She’s close to me but doesn’t bother with Mother’s Day either 😢

Why isn’t she close to her father? As the adult in the relationship what is he doing about it? Or is he happy with the situation?

It's commercialised bollocks manufactured to get people to buy stuff.
A lot of people just ignore it.

We are doing Fathers Day tomorrow... DDs gave sorted presents already, just need to do cards today. (10 and nearly 12)

I'll send my dad a card and get him a new Gnome. (Our tradition)

We have a family tradition for both Mother’s and Father’s Day of a card, some chocolates, and a framed photo from the last year.

Not really. DH never did anything for me when the Dcs were small as ; 'You are not my mother' and so I don't do anything for him either. Dcs will get a card I expect. My father lives abroad and might get a phone call.

We don't do mothers day either. Or indeed our wedding anniversary now I think of it! I make valentines days cards for everyone though.

puttingdownroots why tomorrow? It’s on Sun 18th

Because next week he's on a work trip, I'm taking my Cubs camping, and both kids are also on Scout Camp.

We are celebrating my birthday later which was last month... due to DHs job we often move birthdays, Christmas, and other events to a more convenient date

summerishereagain it’s complicated. DD14 is adopted & we don’t know who her biological DF is so we think that’s partly why she treats him as she does. They were close when she was little & it would be him that sat with her watching “ In The Night Garden” at 2am when she wasn’t sleeping or driving her round the block to get her to drop off. And no he is far from happy with the situation & it breaks my heart too.

Gosh that's really sad about your DD.

I think I would be telling her that your DH will be really upset not to be acknowledged on Father's Day. Even if it makes no difference now it might be that in years to come she will start doing something because she knows he likes it.

I'm so sorry you are in a difficult situation - it must be heartbreaking

Could you pay for professional help to try to improve their relationship?

As a short term measure could you take DD to the shops and together pick a card and small gift (you pay) and explain to her that it would mean a lot to DH, who loves her very much.

Long term can you look at some kind of family counselling?

Not here either. Ex doesn't help at all with parenting so I don't promote it, Neither of them have ever shown any interest in it so it seems a bit pointless.

We do Mother's Day and birthdays though.

We only do small tokens for Father's Day and Mother's Day. We don't get involved in the silly hype on Mother's Day so why would we for Father's Day?.

Your situation sounds difficult OP. Do you think it might require some professional input to help the rel?

We have had family counselling & DD is waiting for therapy - she has a lot of issues, not all related to being adopted. DH loves her very much but I think he has “ compassion fatigue”. Definitely a work in progress.

We're celebrating a week early too, as DS has a party to go to on the day itself.

I've got some interesting beers for DD to give him, and helped DS make him shortbread. We'll make him breakfast in bed (smoked salmon bagels, which the DC can mostly make themselves with a bit of supervision), and are going to one of DH's favourite restaurants for lunch.

No dad on my side to worry about (I don't know who mine is), and we'll also see DH's dad for lunch and to give him his gift (a Spanish sherry and snacks kit).

Growing up without a dad I'm very aware of what top blokes they both are - DH in particular is a very loving and hands-on dad - so I have no problem celebrating them. DH makes sure the DC make a fuss of me on Mother's Day, too, so fair's fair.

I brought DH a monthly coffee subscription and we will make some biscuits or cookies or something. Never spend more than £40 on each other for it.

No. Children might draw him a picture or make a card. That's it. Just a commercial construction.

DC will make cards and maybe choose a bottle of beer to give him.
I will give my Dad a card and a photo of him and my DC, although he is away so not sure when I will give it to him.

I got DH a Cameo video of a bloke he really respects telling him to listen to me more 😆and also that we quite like and appreciate him etc. I will also take dd to pick him out a present from the market (probably a cupcake). And make him a cup of tea.

Dd is 3, if that matters