Help me have more fun!

[Jeansmeansheinz]

I don't feel like I have enough fun, just loads of drudge, work, housework, teenagers. It feels like since the pandemic this has got worse. How do you have fun? (I'm single btw so no dp/dh to go and do things with.)

You don't need DP/DH to have fun. Do you have friends? What do you like doing? How much spare time do you have? Do you have childminders (if needed)?

A lot of my friends are married and they don't go out much. I like things like dancing and music and travel. I don't have friends with the same interests really, and it's hard to meet people (I wfh) No longer need babysitters but I don't have tons of free time. Even small ways to have fun is something I need to think about, I've got stuck in a rut a little bit.

I used to go to the cinema more, thinking about it. With the cost of living I haven't done that as much and miss it.

Work, drudge and 4 teens here op. How old are you? 51 here and got my first strike at bowling last week! Never too old to have fun!

Snap Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon I'm 51 as well. I love bowling, it's a good idea. I think a lot of things have just felt too frivolous expense wise, but it's taking its toll as I'm just not doing enough fun things.

Also congrats on the bowling strike

Cycle. Find old rail tracks and get yourself a nice picnic, and nice snacks, and cycle, stop whenever you like.

Visit a lavender field if you have one nearby.

Day at the beach? Like when you were a child, with windbreakers and everything.

Do a one day calligraphy course? Or whatever one day course you fancy?

Take the train to London for a day?

Start a C25K? (debatable if that’s fun, but..)

Great ideas, thanks BuddhaAtSea Couch to 5k would get me out of the rut at least. I do need to do new things. I've never been to a lavender field and would love that.

Cook a big pot of curry from scratch. Grind spices, let the kitchen fill with amazing scents whilst listening to 6music and dancing around. You get a couple of day's dinners.

Have music themed hours with Spotify, whatever your choice, rock, rave, cheesy belters.

Have you any instruments in your house? Even just bongo drums.
Karaoke machine?
Local Rock Choir?

Find events locally, many are free, or minimal cost, can be anything, picnic in parks, farmer's markets, film screenings or live bands in smaller venues. Should be coming into peak season for summer events.

You can get "unsolved murder case files" games online and can pretend to be a misunderstood detective, you can do these alone or with the teenagers if they want to join in or a bit of both.

Plan and plant a natural hedge for wildlife. Very minimal gardening once in, you can put berry bushes in for food and colour.

Tiedye some older tied clothes for a summer wardrobe revamp.

Buy an actual newspaper and stroll to pub in evening for one or two drinks with the crossword/paper? Never know who might say hello.

Learn and master a magic trick to amuse people.

Watch some comedy, stand up or sitcom

Only watch TV box sets you enjoy

Read some light but worthwhile literature, off you want suggestions for what you enjoy the "what we're reading" chat folk are endless great with suggestions

Have a listen to spoken word/poetry on YouTube and try and make your own one (never had to be shown to anyone).

Start small, see where your ideas grow.

Lovely ideas frozendaisy thank you. I'm going to do some of these suggestions. Good perspectives, and things I'd not have thought up.

Do you garden op? Saved my sanity these past few years. Even took on a gardening project for a mature student doing an MA... 'we' got a distinction!!

I haven't got a garden Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon but congratulations on your project, that sounds good.

Not even space for a small greenhouse and some pots? I have peas on the go in pots. It is quite exciting you know!! My dc do a lot of eye rolling these days! Best bit is they never want to help so I get left in peace! Ddogs are always happy to sit and supervise!

Am similar to you op, in that stress and life are no fun at all. I’ve recently discovered that being outside is brilliant. As thesunwill suggests, get a pot and some peas, or herb seeds on a windowsill. It’s ridiculously satisfying growing your own basil.
also bird seeds on the window ledges or one of those feeders that stick to the window. So cute!
make a rag rug from old tee shirts..
make a cake (always good) and munch it with a cup of tea and a good book.
Phone a friend you’ve lost touch with.
ummm..it’s hard to get started I found. But baby steps
💐

Sounds like you might like to go to gigs. There's a Facebook group GirlsthatGig for women who fancy going to a gig either on their own, or you can post & see if anyone else is going.

I like making ordinary every day more fun by putting on playlists of favourite songs while I make dinner or sort laundry. Sometimes it's dancey upbeat stuff and sometimes it's music i loved as a teen or even as a child.

A nice game to play with yourself is to do something you've never done before every day for a month. Anything from cooking a new recipe, going to a new cafe and ordering the weirdest drink on the menu (beetroot latte is actually quite nice!) to planning a visit to a new country. Something new every day is a great way to get more techy too, instead of asking teens to do stuff for you, work it out for yourself.

Another way to add fun is make sure you have something tiny to look forward to every day - even if it's just a favourite TV programme or coffee with a friend, then something small each week - maybe a cinema visit or a walk on the beach, something a bit bigger each month - maybe a day trip or weekend away, a gig by a favourite band or comedian, something big each season - could be a holiday or going on a course to study something you really want to learn, and something massive each year which is a sort of milestone in life - maybe something form your bucket list or a project you have a sense of achievement from like redecorating the house or training for a marathon, long haul trip or climbing a mountain, starting a new job etc.

I also love mini seasonal bucket lists. Used to do with them DC were small but it's still fun with teens. In summer you can make a bucket list to have a family outing to the beach, to take dinner to the park and have a picnic, to make watermelon and mint smoothies (or some other refreshing drink or ice lollies), to get Mr Whippys from the ice cream van just like when you were children, to go kayaking or cycling etc. In autumn and winter, to watch a classic film together, sit round a bonfire and tell spooky stories etc. Really small things but they mark the seasons and they create a bit of fun together as a family.

This thread has really helped, thank you so much all who have posted. I love the idea of the gigs group but am not on Facebook, possibly will join it though.

Love these ideas of a month of doing new things NeverendingCircus and that is just what I need. I am going to start doing this from Monday, trying to do one new thing a day and work on some mini bucket lists too.

All of this is just what I've needed to spur me on to shake out of this rut.

Buy a nice notebook – I liked square lined, it makes me feel French – and some gel pens and make great big lists of everything you like and want to do, including the ideas here. Free association style. Summer lists, bucket lists, playlists, how a perfect day would look, how a perfect week would look. What your ideal life would look like in five years, etc etc. Fun in itself even if things are infeasible (perhaps you’re not going to buy a cheap Scandinavian farmhouse and renovate it and host music festivals there and learn to love herring… but you could try learning Swedish, or book a holiday, or get into Nordic punk rock, or whatever).

And I say this to everyone, but declutter massively and get a cleaner, it creates TIME and ENERGY because less housework, so therefore more fun, less drudge.

Any art exhibitions that take your fancy? Walking tours if you're interested in history? Visit somewhere beautiful in term time, go by train and take a good book. Any food or literature festivals? Open Gardens are starting up if you're looking for inspiration.

Change of scenery really does help, but anything that sparks joy, pleasure or just nostalgia? Are there any family or friends you can travel to meet now you have a bit more freedom?

Dh connected with new people by going to fan pages of a band band touring the UK.

I was once told even if you are getting out of debt, put aside a tiny percentage of your income - 5% if you can afford it, 2% if not, for fun. Because it keeps you motivated and sane and in control of your life. I went through a phase of only having £5pw to spend on fun and I really loved making the most of it. Some weeks I'd buy a cheap bottle of wine and go for dinner with a friend. Some weeks I'd go swimming or to a cheap Saturday morning cinema. Sometimes I'd buy a second hand book and a bunch of daffs and some pound store fresh coffee.

Even if you only set aside £10 a week for yourself, you can have fun thinking of different ways to get the most from it.

You lot are all brilliant

I'm going to take on board all these ideas and get myself a notebook and pens at the weekend, make some lists and plans. It's right that it's a good idea to set aside money for fun, however much that is, and I'm going to do this and treat myself. This thread has really helped me, thanks all.

It might sound weird, but there's a lot of fun to be had working out how to have fun on a very tight budget. When DC were small money was very tight for a while. We signed up for theatre filler sites where you could get tickets to shows for the price of the booking fee. We took the kids to all sorts of things for £2 each and once got tickets to a really brilliant £££ music festival for only £7 each. We had the time of our lives. I used to look out for £5 Vodaphone cinema tickets. Or do homemade pizzas and popcorn (even teens like popping corn and putting toppings on their own pizzas) and then getting a film from Amazon for £3.50 for a budget family film night.

I think @Jeansmeansheinz change your mindset about what’s a “frivolous” spend. Something that makes you value you isn’t frivolous, sometimes it’s very much necessary.

I'm just placemarking to come back and read in the morning with my silent cuppa. There look to be loads of ideas for things to help me fill the loooong summer with no work 😊

It's hard isn't it, I sometimes wonder where my fun times went. I love doing things with my family and teens of course but can't think of much I do just "for me" things I do or have done and enjoy more than fun I suppose are:
Garden pottering if you have one or indoor plants can be a pleasure
Baking or cooking a new recipe
Wild swim with a friend or local group
Watercolour for fun just with a set of paints from Amazon,
Join a local group of something different like a choir or I tried Japanese Taiko drumming
Bodyboarding
Cheap travelodge night away with a friend or just yourself and visit a city as a tourist
Hope you find some good ideas to try.