Keep thinking of moving… wwyd?

[Led921900]

I keep thinking of moving back up north to be near family. It’s been on and off for three years since I’ve had my own family and currently just finishing maternity leave and I always find maternity leave lonely and hard.

My job is based in central London and when I asked to become a home worker they said no. There’s a possibility I could get them to agree to reduced in office presence instead which would cost me £300 in commute but if I was to work in office as they want the commute from the North would be £600 a month. This might be possible in future when my childcare bills are lower but not now…. I’ve looked at jobs in the north and the lower salaries would actually mean the commuting is worth the money! But obviously I live in zone 4 at the minute so my monthly commuting costs are about £75!

DH is happy to move if we could find a slightly bigger house and his job is wfh.

Obviously I would prefer to
avoid moving house. It’s expensive, stressful and a big change. But I can’t get it out of my head. I think about it a lot.
I’m a bit of an introvert and my twin sister lives up North and I really miss her and we’d love to live near to each other.
I don’t really have any close friends I see regularly down South, more transient friends made through my kids!

WWYD?
I am thinking of waiting a few months after I return to work and seeing how I feel. If I still want to move I was going to request slightly less on site presence for next few years building up to more days on site as my children start preschool and my childcare costs go down. They ask for ppl to be on site 1-2 days a week.
in the meantime is there a way to feel happier where I am and stop thinking about moving back? I’m tired of dreaming about a life somewhere else!

Could you look for another job that's based in London, but mostly working from home? If you do that, you will need to think about how you would manage the long days when you are in the office - hopefully your DH will be able to cover this, or maybe family?

Do bear in mind that that £600 commuting cost would probably be offset against cheaper childcare and housing - depending on where you go of course!

The childcare and housing costs are the same, if not a bit more expensive actually as the council tax in London is quite a bit cheaper! Also a bigger house pile increase our fuel bills too so commute is not off set unfortunately!

re looking for another job I don’t want to at the minute because with a 2 year old and 7 month old I need an employer to be understanding if they’re ill and I’m not available… I wouldn’t want to start a new job then need to take time off because the kids are sick. So looking for a new job is on hold for 2 years I think. I love the company I work for now it’s a shame they weren’t more flexible as I really don’t need to be in the office! My colleagues are Uk wide or off shore so all my work is on the phone!

DH has said he is fine to do a morning and bedtime on his own with the kids and then he’d get an evening quid pro quo another day in the week to do a night out/hobby or his own. I’d get in about 8:30pm on the day I need to my to London so will miss bedtime.

Go, happiness and family is everything

Find a job where you can do wfh.
I did when after maternity, work decided not to allow wfh

1 year later we’re moving to our dreamhome in Wales, on London salary 😄

Go be with your family. A job is just a job. Get another one that allows WFH or is up north. Lots of employers support family emergencies and if DH is WFH can't he share the childcare when they are sick? You can take time to think it through but start the plan before you go back.

I would definitely move north to be with your twin. Surely you would get a much bigger house for less than you're paying now, unless your sister lives in an expensive area?

The salaries are lower up north but everything's cheaper. I would also say money isn't everything. As long as you're comfortable and can afford some treats, time spent and memories made with your children and sister trumps wealth surely.

Not all companies are so rigid, many recognise that you have to be flexible to not rule out talented women from your workforce. Interesting to know what sector you're in? Obviously in some sectors all companies are inflexible

Go I don’t see what you have to lose. 2 years will do so quickly If that’s when you feel comfortable moving jobs.

could take 6 months to move house then that’s a quarter of the time

or you might start looking and not find anything that fits but least you tried

Thanks all!

I’m taking the baby up there for a few nights in July and will see how it feels.
I work in technology but my degree isn’t technical. I think they do like to retain ppl as recruiting is hard but they’ve taken a hard line on office presence because a lot of people just aren’t coming in. It’s a bit daft though the flexibility means every meeting is a call anyway.

Northern salaries are about 25% lower. House sizes are about the same as we live in a cheap area in London and would be moving back to relatively wealthy area of the north west!