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34 weeks & stressed at work!

9 replies

GC17 · 06/06/2023 21:14

Hi
I have quite a senior managerial position at work, managing a team of 12. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant due to start my annual leave/mat leave a week today. My mat cover started yesterday and we have been talking through a handover over the past 2 weeks as theyre an internal staff member. Today they dropped a bombshell that they are handing in their resignation so wont be taking on my maternity cover and i cannot explain how much stress this has caused me to feel. I know its not my issue and i know i leave in a week but i cant help but feel sick with it all. My manager isnt best pleased about it but she doesnt seem anywhere near as stressed out as me when really all this will affect her. We have a recruitment freeze at work so a replacement cant be brought in so easily/quickly. I handed over some big projects which i feel will get messed up now and i feel bad for the team who will likely feel insecure. Hubbys saying none of this is my problem/dont stress...but its really affecting me and my stress levels. A week today couldnt come fast enough... feels so far away!!! Any coping advise/wise words would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

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PurBal · 06/06/2023 21:17

I agree with hubby. Is this your first? The advice I was given is that no matter how good the handover when you return to work it will be like starting a new job from scratch. Try not to let it worry you (easier said than done I know) and put as much in your handover notes as possible.

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Peanutbutteryday · 06/06/2023 23:57

Honestly when your baby arrives you won’t have time to worry

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ChatWTF · 07/06/2023 00:25

Two things:

My manager isnt best pleased about it but she doesnt seem anywhere near as stressed out as me when really all this will affect her.

Take note of your managers reaction. Hate to quote him but as BoJo said of the late Queen, she had a sense of history that knew problems come and go.

Secondly, I was that senior exec and dedicated person who worked late into my maternity (later than you). baby came early and I had little time off. I was worried about work, made decisions I wish I hadn’t that prioritised work over family sometimes and in hindsight was foolish. I later ended up leaving a job I had loved as so many things changed (not cos of mat leave) and all that stress was for nothing. You will look back in 5 years and think who gives a shit about X project, however important it seems now to the existence of your company - it’s really probably not.

Good luck.

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MeinKraft · 07/06/2023 00:51

Who gives a fuck? Just go off on your leave as planned and focus on yourself and your baby. The place isn't going to fall apart without you.

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TheShellBeach · 07/06/2023 01:21

But why does it bother you if you're not going to be there?
Focus on your baby, OP.
Your work replacement isn't your problem.

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sjpkgp1 · 07/06/2023 01:25

Do the best you can do to handover in the week left so you don't leave anyone deliberately high and dry, then put your fingers in your ears and walk away to your maternity leave and do not worry about it for a second longer, it is not your job to so, and they had plenty of warning and other people's comings and goings are not yours to cope with in this instance. I've had four kids while at the same place, the first two I went late-ish and came back early-ish, the last two I went early-ish and came back late-ish. Made zero difference in the long run. Go, relax, look after yourself. XX

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dreamonlucid · 07/06/2023 01:26

Im massively stressed by some of the staff decisions and situations like yours, but as your boss I'd be calm and collected and be saying "no worries we've got this" just to make you calmer..

You literally can't do anything about it, it's not your issue and those team mates will get it all done.

This is the same feeling just before a holiday, the panic handovers. And 3 days later you will be like what work?

Same with maternity except you'll have a whole new chapter, and hopefully will realise work isn't as important.

I wish I'd not worked so much.

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MuddaUdders · 07/06/2023 01:45

Congrats on your pregnancy. Sorry to hear you are having tough time, but do what you can to enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy and to make it as relaxing as possible. I would find the situation tough to stomach as well. What would be useful now is to think "ok, this has just happened, what can I do in the time I have left to reasonably lessen the blow"

First of all, put yours and bump's health and well-being at the top of your priorities. Don't consider amending your AL to accommodate this blip!

What tasks would be useful between now and your annual/ mat leave, in your opinion? For example, you could use the time you have now to just focus on writing up some handover notes/ handing over to your manager. Anything that you think would be useful for them or for whoever eventually picks up your work. You have several working days to do this, which is better than none at all.

Some maternity covers/ internal staff who pick up the extra work in their colleagues absence don't get the luxury of receiving handovers beforehand for various reasons. In those situations they just have to proactively figure things out for themselves.

Your manager might be relatively calm about it because they feel they have everything covered/ maybe they are secretly worried on the inside but don't want to worry you!

It's lovely that you care so greatly about your work, but it will/ can be taken care of in your absence. Best of luck and enjoy your time off when it arrives x

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Writerscompanion · 07/06/2023 06:06

Ah OP, I get it! I'm also in senior leadership and have always been extremely conscientious. It's not as easy as some suggest to just stop caring about work - for one thing it is part of your identity and also hopefully benefits you intellectually/socially so I understand why you can't just switch it off.

It seems like there's no right answer sometimes for professional you, pregnant you, and baby - but as someone who has booked to start mat leave at 39 weeks and is struggling, I am learning to prioritise the latter two and that the former will survive me having done so. I would just focus on making the best handover plan for uncertain staffing arrangements you can and otherwise allow your boss to have ownership of the continuity concerns - it's only five days and then you will have to let it go!