Social activities for a lonely homeschooled teenager?

[taylorjade]

Dd is in year ten and began home schooling this year due to bullying and anxiety.

She's looked at a local sixth form centre and is really keen to attend from September next year so hopefully this is a relatively short term issue.

Dd is 14, mature for her age, has some autistic traits and quite a bit of social anxiety.

She has two good friends but says they only contact her when they want to talk about their problems and never asks how she is. They both have boyfriends now so DD is feeling a bit left behind.

Can anyone think of some social activities she can do? She doesn't like exercise (does come to the gym with me) and social anxiety means things without a specific activity like youth clubs are out.

She does volunteer at a riding stables at the weekend which she loves but it's so busy there isn't much time for chatting,

Any ideas? She's tried to research some things herself but not come up with much.

Has she looked at explorer scouts / ranger guides? Organised activities which the young people get involved in organising plus really strong evidence of how protective it is for mental health….

Not sure where you live but I think parkrun is a great idea. You can literally walk it and as it's on a Saturday morning the rest of the weekend is still free.

Otherwise I wouldn't worry too much. Fairly typical for teenagers to lose interest in things and prefer to stay in.

My DD suffered with low self esteem and anxiety when she was a similar age. She joined a trampoline club which gave opportunities for building friendships but was sufficiently structured and 'controlled' which gave her the confidence to attend.

She also joined Air Cadets. Again, sufficient structure and control to give her the reassurance that she needed. They were really supportive and her confidence soared. She didn't tell many people she went, and when some lads found out and tried to make fun of her, they soon shut up when she asked them if they had any flying or shooting qualifications!

Other ideas might be volunteering at a local library especially if they do a summer reading challenge. Supporting younger children with their reading and book choices could be a lovely confidence builder for her.

What about drama? She doesn't have to act-there are loads of other things to do. I wouldn't go for the big franchise theatre schools- see if your local theatre has a youth group.

I would say martial arts, something like karate maybe.

Might seem a strange suggestion but Army/Air Cadets. It is very structured and focused on the weeks activity.

I second some sort of cadets. I think I was similar to your daughter as a teenager and enjoyed air cadets, my group was quite(!!) geeky but it was actually really fun and I’m still in contact with friends from there many years later.

Explorers

www.scouts.org.uk/explorers/

As PP says Ranger Guides or Explorer Scouts could be an option. I'm a Guide leader but our local Ranger unit is relatively small and the girls work together to plan activities.

Alternatively how about volunteering with Rainbows or Brownies as a Young Leader. It's really good for self confidence as the younger girls look up to them and the young leaders can really make a difference to the younger and shy girls. There is always a meeting plan so she will know what is happening and the leaders will give her lots of encouragement.

Is there another school she could attend? For a quiet, shy, nervous child whilst school can be hard, avoiding school can make feelings of isolation and loneliness worse.

If that is not an option I would focus on finding something that involves children her age like scouts, rangers, or other activities that interest her.

DS15yo volunteers at our local parkrun. It is part of his D of E volunteering (he has to do 52 weeks) but he thinks he will continue it even after he does the required amount. I’m amazed at how much he has learnt and contributed, given how lacking in confidence he was when he started. They’re desperate for volunteers for every role from marshalling, to giving out tokens, barcode work, setting up in the morning, putting everything away at the end, tail walkers etc. It’s not just about pacing.

She's not avoiding school she's in online school. Her grades are stellar so no issues there.

There isn't anything locally until sixth form that's suitable.

Scouts has a higher percentage than average of neurodiverse children, apparently. That’s what our local leader told me anyway. I think it is quite an accepting and low demand environment.

Thanks all, she already volunteers (it's a charity riding for the disabled) every Saturday so parkrun would clash and I think she's giving enough volunteer hours.

I will look at explorer guides etc and cadets.

Scouts is brilliant. Also consider an activity holiday for her in the summer. It was the making of one of our girls

Sorry I'm going to leave this thread now I asked for activity suggestions not opinions on her education.

She's not a 'shy, nervous' child she has diagnosed anxiety and we've moved heaven and earth to get the right education for her at a really critical time in her education.

What about a book club? Or a community choir like rock choir (too much pressure on the performance element?) Would that have structure to the social element?

Army / Airforce / Navy / Police cadets

Any boardgame clubs about? Structured but you really get to chat with others.

for outdoors you could look at Junior Rangers

there might be day time art classes in your area if she’s interested in art. Also there might be FB group for those who home schooled and they might do things occasionally as well.

My home ed teenagers do/have done music, dancing, martial arts, circus, horse riding, sports.

So are you rural at all or semi rural Young Farmers is ace ! Lots of different activities great for making friends ! It’s ace !

Writers’ groups. I can recommend a good one if you’re in the West Midlands.

Otherwise another recommendation for Scouts / Rangers / cadets.

Do you have any local home ed groups? See if there's a facebook group and ask if there are any other teens who'd like to meet up. There's a teen & tween group near me that do things like bowling or ice skating in the week.

To move reception DD schools now or never?