Helping DS engage with school

[12BottlesOfVintageChampagne]

I could cry. DS is 12 and is a bright boy but completely disinterested in school. We've had basically the same school report since reception. That's he's clever but lacks focus. He completely tanked his SATs, with results that just don't reflect his ability. I know they are not the be-all and end-all, but they utterly baffled me!

He's in yr7 now and about to do his first set of exams. I'm at a loss as to how to help him - he's lied to my face about the work that his teachers have set. We're trying to work in revision, but his attitude is very much "what's the absolute bare minimum I can get away with?".

I would be really grateful to hear from other parents who have experienced similar. Do they ever just "get it"? Or is it going to be this hard for the rest of school? How do you get them to care, even just a little bit? I find the complete resistance/disdain so frustrating.

He's currently on a (non-essential) no-tech ban while he has revision to do, but it's like water off a duck's back. Just doesn't care. Any advice?

I wouldn’t push him in year seven too much. Just make sure he’s doing his homework to an acceptable standard and if he doesn’t do well I’m his exams due to lack of revision then so be it. Not many kids do revise at that age anyway.

Thanks BetterBee. I know I shouldn't place too much value on it at this age. It's tough though, when he still refuses to use capital letters (which seem to be a real flash point). I just want to instil some good habits, so it makes his life a bit easier come GCSE time ☹️

Many people don’t use capital letters and would probably argue that it doesn’t matter when you’re using informal communication, but it would annoy me too.

You can take a horse to water, but……….
You’ve done what you can, but you might have to wait and see if tanking the exams is a wake up call. Equally, he might do well without revising. Who knows? Sometimes they have to get it wrong to get it right.

Why does he have lots of exams in Year 7? Is he in private school? Maybe this isn't the environment for him? My DS is in year 7 and other than Maths and science pretty much hates every minute of school. He won't 'revise' topics unless they are set quizzes etc and does the minimum for homework. However, he has learning differences that mean school is really really hard for him, so I don't push it.
I'd be trying to identify the reasons for the disinterestedness in school and why he had such problems with SATs rather than worrying about forcing revision for exams in year 7.

Jen3112, no he's at a very average comp. He has one exam for each subject, which I would assume is to ease them into the whole exam sitting process. I'm struggling with how to approach this, really. I don't want to make him hate learning, but also don't want to let him drift. Gah. School just feels different these days. I was horrified at the thought of being in trouble at school.m!

Our secondary has exams every year, think that’s the norm? In year 7. My DS sat two lots one at the start of the year for streaming and again at the end of the year for end of year assessment.

I do feel for you, it’s unbelievably frustrating (I have one child who is very bothered and one who couldn’t really care less) especially when you know it’s all there. My husband tries to cheer me up by reminding me that ALL of our most well off and successful friends were similar not bothered about school and then absolutely shone when they got to the world of work and could start earning - hopefully your sons time will come x