Behavioural points systems at school - do I say something?

[DampMatches]

Ds is probably autistic, waiting for assessment, and is in yr 7.
I mostly can’t fault the school, they are doing loads to help ds with his constant anxiety.
However they follow a points system which means children can collect points throughout the days/weeks/months, positive or negative.

If a child accumulates 10 negatives (I think it is) they are “invited” to miss a lunch break to sit in silence and reflect on their behaviour.

With accumulated positive points children can choose small fun items, and at the end of the year there is a big theme park prize for those who have got over 150 points - according to ds most of his peers have.

My problem is that ds, whilst very sweet and thoughtful at home, tends to zone out in school (his key worker has told me this) to try to cope. He tries very hard not to, has had a reduced timetable to try to help, but can often appear to teachers as rather insolent and rude, as he doesn’t always hear when they talk to him. He gets occasional positive points but not enough for prizes.
Ds then tries to copy his peers’ behaviour to gain more points, but then gets into trouble as he’s being giddy or silly - when all he’s doing is mirroring the behaviour of children who get more points (to be clear I’m not saying these children are naughty, more that they are lovely members of the class, but when ds copies them he misses the mark and it’s interpreted as him being a pain).

I loathe behavioural systems in school with a passion. The children who need behavioural strategies do not thrive well with these and they become meaningless - the same children who are constantly in detention in yr 7 are the same who are constantly in detention in yr 11 - it doesn’t work, it doesn’t teach anything. These children also have some SN, often undiagnosed.

In a couple of weeks most of DS’s year group are going to a theme park for the day, paid for by parents, so not a free trip.
Ds cannot go as he is short of points, due to his probable autism, despite him being well behaved and not disruptive at all - he has resting bitch face when zoned out, has little tics, and he tries to copy the behaviour that gets other pupils points. It’s a shitty system, I hate it.

I have two options - I become that parent and complain (I’ve already tried to raise the unfairness of the points system but was spoken over and fobbed off) or I take ds out for a nice day on that day. He works so hard just to be in school, being excluded from a trip like this is just the shitty cherry on top of the shitty icing on a shitty cake. I cannot find any reasonable way to explain why he has far fewer points than his friends. It’s hard enough to get him into school most days anyway.

Ask the school if they are aware that their system clearly discriminated against children with issues like your Son. Ask for a copy of their disability policies plus the equalities assessment that they conducted in relation to their behaviour method. Then take him out of school for a fun day out. Schedule a talk with the headmaster (take a friend) for after you get back.

I’ve discussed it in this way, but there’s always a clever excuse, a way to cover this over.
Most school, particularly primary schools, use some sort of points system, so it seems to be the norm.
I’m going to ask for a meeting anyway with the SENCO so I’ll mention it in the email, and how low ds is over this.

I don’t want to be that parent who insists their child goes, but I want them to know the system sucks, and that a big treat like this should be open to everyone or no one!

Behavioural points are also setting the expectations for Behaviour and attitudes that teachers want when taking children out of a controlled, boundaried, school environment into the far riskier world.

I'm a brownie and guide leader and there are certain children who need to be told about a term to half term ahead of time that their Behaviour must improve sharply before I feel safe or confident taking them out of the meeting place.

It's not just about bringing everyone home safe ,it's also my unwillingness to spend a day or several days at even more heightened levels of stress, exasperation or dealing with unresponsive/defiant children.

loathe behavioural systems in school with a passion. The children who need behavioural strategies do not thrive well with these and they become meaningless - the same children who are constantly in detention in yr 7 are the same who are constantly in detention in yr 11 - it doesn’t work, it doesn’t teach anything. These children also have some SN, often undiagnosed.

You're not the teachers dealing with Behavioural management of hundreds to thousands of children in this particular school. They are and have decided that they see the value in this system.

You say your child is well behaved and then go on to list that he's been repeatedly pulled up for being: insolent, rude, silly, not listening - then are angry that because of this behaviour the school are not including him on a trip for those demonstrating consistently positive behaviour.

@Becles I understand that, but I’m also the parent of autistic children, the friend of other families with autistic children, and whilst teachers see these strategies as vital, I can assure you that they appear to work for some children (who probably don’t need them in the first place), but are deeply damaging to children with SN. I’ve yet to see any clear evidence that these systems work, and I’ve asked many times for such evidence.

DS’s behaviour is being interpreted as rude and insolent because of his facial expressions and his tics (I have evidence of this from teachers comments on the behaviour app), and when he tries to adjust his behaviour to mimic others who are popular members of the class, to try to do better, he is pulled up for this too - the poor boy can’t win. He is not disruptive at all.