Anyone awake?

[garlictwist]

My third sleepless night. Feel like I'm going to puke with anxiety. I've injured my foot and in so much pain. I will be having surgery and completely out of action for a long time. I feel so lonely and not sure how I will cope mentally. I had the trip of a lifetime booked for this summer which I now won't be able to go on. But really I just feel so down and alone.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re in a lot of pain. Don’t worry about being out of action for a while. Do you have IRL support? There are loads of things you can do to keep your mind off of things like listening to an audiobook, maybe learning a new skill or taking up some kind of on online course in something that you’re interested in, watching movies and having a marathon of all the the series you wanted to watch but never had time to. I’d love to learn how to crochet and do henna so if I had more time, I’d like to do that. Is there anything you’re interested in that you can learn to do that doesn’t have to be physically taxing.

Thank you for replying. I am trying to think positively and consider curating new hobbies. But at the moment my brain is so all over the place I can't focus and just feel like I'm panicking all the time. It was a stupid accident that could have been avoided and I keep beating myself up about it. I don't know how to move forward.

This is good advice from @ExitChasedByAMemory

it’s awful being in pain, it definitely affects sleep, which makes everything feel worse.

do you have support?

I have a DP but he is going through a hard time at the moment with stresses of his own so I'm trying not to make a fuss. I just keep reliving the accident and wishing it hadn't happened. I have never felt this anxious before and I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

It’s difficult if your husband is also dealing with stuff
I would definitely speak with your GP about managing your stress and anxiety. Anxiety is not fun!!
Personally, I would try to reframe this as an opportunity; to rest, read new books, practice my hobbies etc 💚
(also, for some reason I wasn’t signed in above and hastily used an incorrect username 🤷‍♀️😬🤣)

Thank you. I think I just need to get better at dealing with the mental side of things. My partner says I need to be more resilient and I think he's right. I've just had a bad year so far and this feels like the last straw.

Yup awake here too 🙋🏾‍♀️

Go easy on yourself. Accidents happen and the fact you keep reliving it suggests to me perhaps you need time to think about it and process. Really tough luck you can't go on your holiday, can it be postponed or was it linked to a specific one time only event? Is your foot sore?

Sorry just seen you said you are waiting for an op and in a lot of pain

You sound like you are having a tough time.

It’s easy to say “be more resilient!” Harder to do!!
you’re dealing with loss (freedom, trip of a lifetime etc) as @LemongrassLollipop said, it takes time to process 🤗💚

I think you're being much too hard on yourself. Being resilient doesn't mean not getting upset, it means boucing back from an upset. You deserve to be treated with kindness and undestanding by both yourself and your DH.

You will bounce back I am sure - but it takes time. You haven't even had the surgery yet! You are in pain and nervous, plus dealing with the disappointment of missing the holiday.

When we have accidents it is common to replay them - this passes with time. But it is natural to be unnerved by just how easily we can hurt ourselves and damage our security.

for you. Your first job is to get through the surgery. Then to care for yourself and follow the physio advice. Then to work on bouncing back mentally. I am sure it will happen.

Great post by @wildfirewonder 💞

Don't push your feelings under the carpet, that way stress lies.

Thanks for replying everyone. I know people have far worse problems but I am struggling so much and night times are the worst. It's starting to get light now so that's something.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. I hope you manage to get some sleep.

Tip from an insomniac. Don't lay there awake and stressed out, do something calming. Keep a notebook by your bed to doodle or write down your thoughts, read a novel, listen to a meditation app. Watch a film. You might have to be awake but you don't have to be stressed. If all else fails do some house chores, the ones that won't wake others, the light exercise can help you sleep, and if you still don't sleep at least you can sleep later on knowing the house chores are done

Feel better soon :) just woke up to give LO a much needed feed and nappy change. No peeing mid-nappy change which is always an added bonus!! Definitely getting noticeably lighter out there earlier each day

Hi OP sorry you’re not feeling great! I’ve been awake for the last hour, also keep waking up early with worry and anxiety, despite feeling sort of ok in the daytime – not a pleasant feeling!

How are you feeling now? Sorry to hear your foot’s in pain, have they said how long recovery will be after your op?

It's going to be a few months, I think. I am not feeling great. I have eaten for two days because my stomach is in knots. Just the anxiety. I really wish I could make it stop.

have NOT eaten

Have you spoken with your GP about the anxiety OP?

It’s an awful feeling. Did you manage to get some food ?

As an alternative to exercise for relaxation, I find tensing and relaxing each muscle really helpful. So you start with your toes/feet and tense your toes as tight as you can, hold for 30 seconds, and relax. Then move along to your ankles/calves and repeat. Then your upper legs and so on.

Hope you’ve managed to get some rest x

@OCarumba Thanks for your message. I slept a bit better last night, mainly as I was just so tired. I'm having a bit of a panicky start to the day but am trying to drink tea and get my head together.

Had a bit of a fight with DP as he says I need to pull myself together as it's affecting him. I know he's right but it's hard.

Glad you got a bit of sleep!

Sorry to hear you had an argument with DP. Yes easier said than done sometimes! I think with anxiety when it’s not there it can be easy to forget how difficult it is to switch off.

Is there anything in particular about the injury that’s making you anxious? Is it more the surgery or the recovery time you’re worried about?

@OCarumba The surgery has uncertain outcomes and requires a lot of recovery time. I am worried how I will cope with this, not being able to leave the bed for weeks or weight bear, especially as my partner is out at work all day and I will find it hard.

I also feel I've ruined my life through this accident because I can't do the things I want to and can't see a way back to how things used to be. I wish I could turn back the clock and not have hurt myself.

Sorry to hear you have hurt yourself and struggling with all that entails. Having recently become disabled myself, I know how hard it is to adjust to your new life. It must be even worse with an unknown outcome of surgery. I will say that accepting how things are is one of the best ways to start to settle how you feel. I do think some help from your GP with the anxiety would be a good start, to slow how your brain is racing and then maybe you can sleep slightly better. What ifs are your enemy as I well know.

How are you doing @garlictwist 💚