*Trigger warning* advice from those with emetaphobia please RE: BBQ

[Opplesandbononos]

Hi,

Im having a small bbq for mine and my friends family.

My friend has severe emetophobia and the last time we had one she was so polite but extremily anxious about food being cook properly which i totally understand.

Obviously she's free to help herself to BBQ food as well but i was wondering about making her her own like packed lunch of things prepackaged but apart from a sausage roll a cant really think.

I could do with a few suggestions please?

Is it because its cooked on a bbq or because its not her cooking it? If its the bbq offer to cook hers in the oven. She might feel embarrassed with a packed lunch different from everyone else

I would just leave her to it, she will have her own coping mechanisms for these kind of events. Maybe just mention to her discretely you understand if she finds it difficult and won't be offended at all if she doesn't eat your food or chooses to bring her own?

Get a digital food Thermometer so she can see its piping hot? If she wants bbq, make sure hers is really well done? Make sure hands/utensils are thoroughly washed between touching raw meat and ready to eat food.. and keep anything raw, packaging, etc, a good distance away from buns etc. I'm emetaphobic too 😂

I'd ask your friend what she'd like you to do and also tell her that you don't mind of she doesn't feel like eating when she's there. Basically let her take control.

Totally agree re: giving your friend the choice, so she's in control.

Options like nice rice / pasta salads, antipasti type dishes and fresh breads and cheese board with fresh grapes i.e. non-BBQ foods that have been cooked/prepared indoors will give your friend other choices to eat that aren't just for her so she won't feel "singled out" and can blend in.

Another emetophobe here and just wanted to say that you sound like a really, really lovely friend. You rock, OP

I am like your friend. I just eat the bread and cheese and avoid the meat.

Me too.. I usually say I don't eat much eat.. I really mean I don't eat other people's meat that I haven't been able to inspect first 🙃

Rice dishes and cold pastas are way more likely to cause food poisoning (sorry!!). I don't think avoidance is the right strategy for phobias though (easier said than done).

A breezy message like 'hey, I want you to really enjoy the food today- do you want to get in on the prep/ cooking or bring something, or are there any meat alternatives I can make for you' will give her the idea and she can take it from there.
My severely emetephobic daughter likes thinly sliced steak at a bbq, sausage that has been sliced lengthways and cooked on all sides and chicken that has been cooked in the oven and finished on the bbq.