Feeling stupid, in A&E with ‘panic attacks’

[feelingsobloodystupid]

I’ve had before, been admitted before, waiting on an ultrasound of my heart to rule out heart problems. Under a MH team, waiting to see a psychiatrist, psychologist, support worker and care plan etc etc. Been told might get started on low dose antipsychotic.

Had an episode this morning, heart very irregular and fast, hearing goes funny (like underwater), legs went and collapsed to floor.

Told to go to A&E by crisis team, who have stuck me in a wee room on an admission ward. I feel so stupid, they’re just going to come round and say it’s anxiety again. They’ve done a heart tracing and blood tests. I’ve not eaten today, and not sure what’s happening.

I feel so bloody stupid and useless, I really hate me at times.

I was slightly stressed at the time but it came on so fast and felt so powerful. I keep trying to say to myself if it was something serious there’s no way I’d have been able to stand up and get myself dressed (was literally 3 mins out the shower) which I was able to do (get dressed I mean).

I’m back at home now, told if it happens again and I’m worried to go back to A&E.

I’m meant to be starting counselling with rape crisis tomorrow (which has probably hit a raw nerve and probably not helped) and then GP in the afternoon. I honestly don’t think I can cope with the former. See how I feel in the morning.

They’ve said SVT/POTS before yeah but BP rose on standing so she said no - was 100/70 lying then 128/88 standing.

Panic attacks are extremely distressing and debilitating, people of all ages can experience them, it's often the reason for school refusal yet very little understanding of support, until you experience one yourself you have no idea.
hope you are feeling better soon.

Or support.

There is nothing stupid about it. I'm a medical professional and I called out an ambulance one night because I was dying of a heart attack. I wasn't. I woke up with a full on panic attack. It felt like death.
I was later diagnosed with CPTSD and manage very well on anti-psychotics. I'm still working full time.

I've had vasovagal syncope in the past, lasted about 2 years. It started at any point I had a reminder of my trauma, showers, certain neck positions (if I turn my head to the left when spacey), memories, anytime anyone scared me even accidently. My brain just thinks nope, turn everything off its too painful she can't know what we know as I have very few conscious memories.

I wouldn't feel stressed but my body would collapse before I even knew what it was that I was supposed to be remembering. I had trauma therapy and haven't had one in a while now. Possibly something similar is happening for you. I also went to A and E and had an echocardigram etc. Its an important part of ruling out other things that might be going on for you. Absolutely best to be seen.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope it is kind to you.

I have SVT.

it's a circle of don't panic because it'll put me into SVT.

If I go into SVT I panic (it's horrible) I've experienced LOC with it too. My blood pressure is on the lower side bit it's fine. Your blood pressure doesn't need to tank on standing, that's more POTs.

Took months to diagnose and I'm awaiting ablation for it.

You need kindness and support, not judgement.

I've had all kinds of horrendous experiences, including one terrifying labour ending in emergency caesarean.

None of them were as horrible as the time I got essentially a heatstroke panic attack when I was super stressed. I did have chest pain, racing heart, pain going down arm, breathless. I googled it and there was a campaign about female heart attacks.

I later found out I've got familial high cholesterol, so it was entirely plausible that I could have had heart problems at a young age.

As it was, I didn't, it was a panic attack. I felt so low afterwards.

But it was external circumstances. I was being bullied by my boss at work and I was terrified of him.

It sounds like none of this is your fault, please do take care. No-one is judging you, and panic attacks are real and horrible. 💐💐

I hope your day went better today. ❤️