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Original poster

Anyone explained lockdown to younger kids yet?

39 replies

willywallaby · 04/06/2023 13:56

I'm just curious! My DD4 was 1-2 during the main bit of covid and doesn't remember anything. But she's old enough now to chat about things that happened in the past. I've said to her in conversation before things like we didn't see anyone for your 2nd birthday and we just stayed at home. And like, that's a really special picture of you with Nanny, she hadn't seen you in months. And we've been watching Andy's Dino Toybox on iPlayer and I've said didn't Andy do a good job making this programme all by himself in his house? But I haven't actually explained anything to her yet! Has anyone else reached that point yet and how did you explain it?

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/06/2023 13:58

Not sure what you would need to explain tbh.Confused

If you need to say anything at all, surely you would just say something along the lines of "there was a nasty bug going round when you were very little so we couldn't see people much, luckily everything is back to normal now."

Original poster
willywallaby · 04/06/2023 14:06

Yeah I suppose nobody has a kid yet who doesn't remember it but is also old enough to be curious enough to ask detailed questions or find it really outlandish when you explain! That's what I was wondering really.

OP posts:
CornishGem1975 · 04/06/2023 14:07

My DS was a lockdown baby, I have no desire to ever talk about it again. It's in the past.

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Original poster
willywallaby · 04/06/2023 14:08

CornishGem1975 · 04/06/2023 14:07

My DS was a lockdown baby, I have no desire to ever talk about it again. It's in the past.

It'll come up eventually though! It was a massive historical event.

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 04/06/2023 14:08

I think as @MrsBennetsPoorNerves said when it comes up in future, your dc is still very little so no further info is really required at this stage.
”bad germs going round, needed to stay at home to make sure it didn’t spread any further” sort of thing. Just keep it age appropriate really.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/06/2023 14:13

willywallaby · 04/06/2023 14:06

Yeah I suppose nobody has a kid yet who doesn't remember it but is also old enough to be curious enough to ask detailed questions or find it really outlandish when you explain! That's what I was wondering really.

Kids are generally pretty accepting of stuff. I don't suppose they will find it particularly outlandish unless you present it in that way.

It was hard for a lot of people who lived through it, but it will just be a historical fact for the kids who don't remember it... and therefore not really a big deal to them.

Whinge · 04/06/2023 14:14

I think it's really odd you keep trying to steer the coversation towards Lockdown. She will learn about it at some point, but that could be years away, right now she's 4 and doesn't need the constant reminders about something she has no memory of.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/06/2023 14:18

Whinge · 04/06/2023 14:14

I think it's really odd you keep trying to steer the coversation towards Lockdown. She will learn about it at some point, but that could be years away, right now she's 4 and doesn't need the constant reminders about something she has no memory of.

I'm guessing that the OP may have really struggled with lockdown and that she perhaps has some unresolved trauma in relation to this that she is trying to process. She may be assuming that the idea of lockdown will be a seem a big deal to her dc because it still looms large in her own mind.

OP, if I'm right, it might be worth exploring whether counselling might help.

Original poster
willywallaby · 04/06/2023 14:23

Not really? It just comes up when we look at old pictures and stuff. Obviously I don't steer the conversation towards lockdown because I've never actually mentioned or explained lockdown to her before. There's just a lot of evidence of it around still.
And no I don't have any trauma. I'm literally just curious about what it would be like to explain lockdown to someone who has no concept of it and the only people around in that category are children right now.

OP posts:
EveSix · 04/06/2023 14:33

What evidence of lockdown is there that your 4-year old child would be questioning, though? If you never mentioned it, they'd never ask, would they? They've nothing to compare with. No before and after.
I teach primary, and while some of our older pupils recall bubbles and online lessons etc, I can't think of a single pupil up to Y2 and possibly even Y3, who would bring anything lockdown-related up. It was just a part of life for most of our pupils, unless something specific happened in your family (in our family, a close relative died of Covid in the first week of the first lockdown, but my DC aren't interested in lockdown in particular as part of that loss).

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 04/06/2023 14:39

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/06/2023 13:58

Not sure what you would need to explain tbh.Confused

If you need to say anything at all, surely you would just say something along the lines of "there was a nasty bug going round when you were very little so we couldn't see people much, luckily everything is back to normal now."

This.
No need to make a big thing about it risking a small child realising they lived through something that millions weren't lucky enough to, and have her start worrying needlessly.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 04/06/2023 14:40

DS is 6 and we speak about it quite a bit. He remembers parts of it, he was three when it started so had to stop going to nursery and suddenly DH and I were home all the time.
At the time we said there was a nasty bug going around and we had to keep away from people. He talks about fondly though. Loved us all being together so much.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/06/2023 14:41

willywallaby · 04/06/2023 14:23

Not really? It just comes up when we look at old pictures and stuff. Obviously I don't steer the conversation towards lockdown because I've never actually mentioned or explained lockdown to her before. There's just a lot of evidence of it around still.
And no I don't have any trauma. I'm literally just curious about what it would be like to explain lockdown to someone who has no concept of it and the only people around in that category are children right now.

OK, maybe I misread it then.

If you aren't trying to process stuff for yourself, I must admit that I don't really understand why this would be an issue that you particularly need to discuss with your dc at all. If it does come up for some reason, then surely you would just explain it in age appropriate terms at the time - no need to make a big deal of it.

And although you say that you don't keep steering the conversation towards that topic, it does rather sound like you do from the comments that you have shared. That would be understandable if you were still struggling to come to terms with what happened for yourself, but I don't really understand why you would keep doing that if not.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 04/06/2023 14:43

willywallaby · 04/06/2023 14:23

Not really? It just comes up when we look at old pictures and stuff. Obviously I don't steer the conversation towards lockdown because I've never actually mentioned or explained lockdown to her before. There's just a lot of evidence of it around still.
And no I don't have any trauma. I'm literally just curious about what it would be like to explain lockdown to someone who has no concept of it and the only people around in that category are children right now.

How does it come up in "old" pictures unless you bring it up?

You have to compare it to say, parents sitting a 4 year old down in New York in 2005 and saying, now you were only a baby and can't remember any of it but this really bad thing happened.

She'll learn about it in time.

Whinge · 04/06/2023 14:43

Not really? It just comes up when we look at old pictures and stuff. Obviously I don't steer the conversation towards lockdown because I've never actually mentioned or explained lockdown to her before.

You're trying to steer the coversation towards lockdown, and you don't even realise you're doing it. There's no need to mention it at all, and yet you seem to being going out of your way to try and get her to ask about it.

we didn't see anyone for your 2nd birthday and we just stayed at home.

No need to mention it in this way. You could say your second birthday was special, you got XYZ presents, and you ate the biggest piece of cake.

And like, that's a really special picture of you with Nanny, she hadn't seen you in months.

She doesn't remember she hadn't seen her Nanny for months, why not just say it's a lovely picture, I love the outfit you're wearing, and Nanny has a lovely smile

And we've been watching Andy's Dino Toybox on iPlayer and I've said didn't Andy do a good job making this programme all by himself in his house?

Again there's no need to mention him making it home, she doesn't need to know that and I suspect 99% of those watching won't know that. Why not talk about the different dinosaurs and various facts about them?

There's just a lot of evidence of it around still.

What evidence?

liveforsummer · 04/06/2023 14:45

Another one wondering why you'd need to be discussing this. A 4 year old really isn't interested that Andy was making the program himself. It does seem you're trying to find ways to steer the conversation towards it. My dc are 9 and 13 and tbh it's now just a distant memory really.

liveforsummer · 04/06/2023 14:48

To add it will probably be an interesting topic to discuss with her in 10 years time though

mynameiscalypso · 04/06/2023 14:50

I think it's a valid question. If I'd been a small child when there was a lockdown, I'm sure I'd have loads of questions for my parents about it because it was such a hugely significant global event and, if nothing else, it's interesting to know you lived through history. Admittedly, for me it is quite boring history because when DS (4) asks, I'll have to tell him that my days mainly involved watching Tiger King and online shopping but I absolutely expect children to be interested in due course in the same way that I, for example, asked my parents a lot of questions about NI being a child of the 80s.

NorthernSpiceGirl · 04/06/2023 14:51

OP I find your question hard to understand.

Why would it be in any way difficult to explain lockdown? In fact why would it need to be explained at all? Surely you might just mention it briefly if it comes up. That’s all.

Lockdown was weird but we all went through it. My grandmother went through the 1918 flu epidemic. It was just a neutral fact that I picked up about her early life.

Original poster
willywallaby · 04/06/2023 14:53

Whinge · 04/06/2023 14:43

Not really? It just comes up when we look at old pictures and stuff. Obviously I don't steer the conversation towards lockdown because I've never actually mentioned or explained lockdown to her before.

You're trying to steer the coversation towards lockdown, and you don't even realise you're doing it. There's no need to mention it at all, and yet you seem to being going out of your way to try and get her to ask about it.

we didn't see anyone for your 2nd birthday and we just stayed at home.

No need to mention it in this way. You could say your second birthday was special, you got XYZ presents, and you ate the biggest piece of cake.

And like, that's a really special picture of you with Nanny, she hadn't seen you in months.

She doesn't remember she hadn't seen her Nanny for months, why not just say it's a lovely picture, I love the outfit you're wearing, and Nanny has a lovely smile

And we've been watching Andy's Dino Toybox on iPlayer and I've said didn't Andy do a good job making this programme all by himself in his house?

Again there's no need to mention him making it home, she doesn't need to know that and I suspect 99% of those watching won't know that. Why not talk about the different dinosaurs and various facts about them?

There's just a lot of evidence of it around still.

What evidence?

Alright alright I posted this in Chat not AIBU! I didn't expect a line by dissection of everything I've written! There were reasons it felt appropriate to say that specific thing at the time but I'm not recreating the whole conversations for context!

The reason I actually thought to post this in the first place is that I wanted to put Mister Maker on because we'll be seeing him at Butlins and the only thing available on iPlayer is Mister Maker At Home and it is a WEIRD programme and definitely a historical artifact of the time. Me and DH were chatting about it because we're sat here watching a kids show where they keep going on about hand washing and how isn't it funny we're all at home right now etc and having video calls with other presenters in front of a white wall, and DD is obviously just accepting it at face value and isn't that weird. Maybe I should have explained that up front but thought it'd be too long and involved!

OP posts:
AConstantGreyInTheClouds · 04/06/2023 14:53

When she’s a lot older, you can talk about it in terms of a thing in history that was happening when she was very little.

At her age, there’s no need to talk about it now. It seems like you want to make it into something that it wasn’t for her. I’d be glad she doesn’t remember if I was you and just take advantage of the freedom we have now to go anywhere and meet everyone.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/06/2023 14:58

mynameiscalypso · 04/06/2023 14:50

I think it's a valid question. If I'd been a small child when there was a lockdown, I'm sure I'd have loads of questions for my parents about it because it was such a hugely significant global event and, if nothing else, it's interesting to know you lived through history. Admittedly, for me it is quite boring history because when DS (4) asks, I'll have to tell him that my days mainly involved watching Tiger King and online shopping but I absolutely expect children to be interested in due course in the same way that I, for example, asked my parents a lot of questions about NI being a child of the 80s.

Funny, I was just thinking about my own experiences of living in NI as a very young child at the height of "the troubles". There were lots of things about that time that would seem weird to me now, but I don't ever recall my parents feeling that they needed to give a big "explanation" of it, and certainly not when I was just 4 years old!

Of course, aspects of that experience have come up in conversations over the years, and my parents were always happy to answer any questions that we asked, but none of us ever made a big deal of it. I remember being far more preoccupied as a young child with questions about the historical application of the death penalty, despite having no personal connection to it...I was just horrified by the idea of it and struggled to get my head around it.

Some kids will probably be interested in knowing more about lockdown/ the pandemic as they get older, and others won't care in the slightest. Surely you just respond to any questions with age appropriate answers as and when they arise, just as you do with anything else, really?

shivawn · 04/06/2023 15:04

We're wearing face masks in a few of the hospital photos from when my son was born because they were still required by the hospital then so I guess if we show them to him when he's older the masks will really stick out. I haven't really thought about telling him about it though, I imagine it'll come up some day.

x2boys · 04/06/2023 15:06

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 04/06/2023 14:43

How does it come up in "old" pictures unless you bring it up?

You have to compare it to say, parents sitting a 4 year old down in New York in 2005 and saying, now you were only a baby and can't remember any of it but this really bad thing happened.

She'll learn about it in time.

Show quote history

Well.exactly my 81.year old mum was three when the second world war ended the only recollection,s she personally has is having a Mickey mouse gas mask ,they lived to far from any major cities, to experience any much bombing
Her knowledge is from warning about it after.

Whinge · 04/06/2023 15:09

Alright alright I posted this in Chat not AIBU! I didn't expect a line by dissection of everything I've written! There were reasons it felt appropriate to say that specific thing at the time but I'm not recreating the whole conversations for context!

I never said you were being unreasonable, I was just pointing out how you're steering the conversation towards lockdown without even realising. You may have felt it was appropriate to say those things, but I was just showing that they're not situations where lockdown needed to be mentioned.

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