So myself (30 f) and a neighbour (56 f) had a falling out a few weeks back and I can’t quite shake it.
It’s only myself (I am physically disabled) and my daughter (12) at home. We recently got a puppy and wanted to share the exciting news with our neighbour who we have always been close to. Instead of her response being excited, she was condescending and rude, more worried about her cats than anything and talking down to me as if I was a child saying things like ‘I hope you are going to get her vaccinated.’ And ‘you do realise that she will actually need walking’ and ‘your daughter needs to focus on school rather than a puppy.’ For the record my daughter has done very well in school with head teachers awards, countless merrits ect. For once I did not let this slide and called her out on her behaviour telling her that I was disappointed with her condescending tone and that of course I had done a lot of research before buying a puppy (she is a miniature dachshund) and that of course I would have her vaccinated ect as I am not an irresponsible pet owner. I also told her that my daughter’s education had nothing to do with her - she is not her mother nor mine! Well shit hit the fan. Instead of accepting that her tone was uncalled for she went off on a rant about how dare I call her condescending ect and after all her and her husband have done for me how dare I talk to her like that. In return I had sent screenshots of the messages to her husband - who seemed unimpressed by his wifes behaviour - and to some friends to ensure I wasn’t over reacting - to which they all agreed that I was not, told her I was blocking her number because it was late & she just would not accept she was in the wrong. Baring in mind this was around 10:30pm at night, all of the lights were off as my daughter had already gone to bed with the puppy and I had had enough & also gone to bed. This woman started hammering on my door and after several attempts, she then started hammering on my window. When that didn’t work, it turns out my daughter had accidentally left our garage door unlocked and this woman had let herself into my house!! I don’t think she was prepared for how angry I was going to be about this but when I told her that was classed as breaking and entering & that if I wanted to, I could call the police - she just laughed in my face. Even my daughter said that she seemed drunk so I’m unsure if there is an alcohol problem there. She didn’t seem to be able to stand straight or focus but soon sobered up when her invasion triggered the massive tic attack that followed and she had to go into first aid mode. After the whole ordeal, she eventually left but with me apologising to her and her accepting virtually no fault. I just wanted this woman out of my house so went along with it.
The next day she kept trying to call my 12 year olds phone - who ignored it as she wasn’t interested. Eventually she came over 2 days after the incident and apologised for breaking and entering & whilst didn’t apologise for her tone, she did say that it was never her intention to make me feel spoken down on ect. She asked if we were ok and I said yes because she is my neighbour, I have to live next door to her, her and her husband have been good to me over the years and I just didn’t want the drama however, I cannot help but feel that relationship is now broken. I cannot believe she entered into my home like that. I would never let myself into her home even if we weren’t arguing! I feel like my home is my safe space & now it doesn’t feel the same. I now ensure that every single door, window and garden gate is shut before bed time or showering ect as I feel like she or someone else is going to just let themselves into my home. When I am in the garden and hear her in her garden now it makes me angry to hear her and I am finding it hard to enjoy my garden. Am I over reacting? For some background I have been through a lot of shit when younger with ptsd from these things including an abusive ex trying to get into my house - which I have undergone therapy for.