Tips for being ill with a baby 😭

[rickandmorts]

Feeling very sorry for myself, started vomiting at around 12 last night and have been up every hour to be sick again. I'm at the point I'm so thirsty but every time I sip water I heave it back up. Haven't had a wink of sleep. Laid in bed currently panicking as dp will be getting up for work at 6.30am and then we're on our own. DD is 6 months and very lively. Any tips for surviving until 5pm tonight when he's home? I'm also really worried being so dehydrated will affect my milk supply!

No but at least if he goes in with the view he's coming home then he can hand over some jobs and leave them in a better position. Not that he should have to of course but he's a workaholic and they're stupidly reliant on him 😵

No no no. They would manage just fine without him. Just as they'd manage if he was in hospital, or on annual leave, or got a new job.

He's not that important or indispensable, I promise. He could have stayed home, he just didn't want to. He thought work was more important than caring for his baby.

But covering you isn't the same as him being ill?

In theory he could need to take a day off to cover you and then catch your illness himself and need to take 48+ off?

I'm glad he is a good husband and steps up when needed, but as I say I really do think surgeons fall into that category of being one of the few jobs you can't just take time off from.

Taking time off 2/3 times a year as you are ill seems quite excessive too. I think even my non important job would be pulling me aside if I had 2/3 instances of being off as my DH was ill.

(3 DC, youngest is disabled. I know its fucking hard so dont mean to sound like I'm having a go. I get that I sound snarky. I'mmore surprised)

Honestly it's shit but one non-mobile baby who is still napping a lot at that age is manageable. It would have been nice if he'd been able to take the day off, of course. At least you don't both have it at the same time; that's the worst scenario when you are both at it from both ends and trying to juggle kids between you based on who is due the next toilet dash!

Hand baby over at the end of day the second he walks in and get to bed. Don't worry about milk supply, being dehydrated for one day won't affect it. It's well established at this point. And get to bed whenever baby naps. When she's awake, just throw toys at her from sofa! Hope you feel better soon!

DP/baby matter aside for one moment - you sound really really unwell. If you really can't keep any liquid inside you by later on today, please get help - I had food poisoning at 19, similar to you and needed an IV drip as I was so dehydrated I was hallucinating. And that is dangerous if you are in charge of a young baby.

But covering you isn't the same as him being ill?

So he’s allowed to be unwell but I’m not? You can see how this would lead to a lot of resentment and friction in a marriage? Right?

In theory he could need to take a day off to cover you and then catch your illness himself and need to take 48+ off?

Oh yes, this has happened lots of times. I’d say this is the most frequent way we all get poorly. But again why would he get to be poorly and not me?

I'm glad he is a good husband and steps up when needed, but as I say I really do think surgeons fall into that category of being one of the few jobs you can't just take time off from.

Im not actually in disagreement here. But ultimately it’s not mine or the children’s fault that his job is so ‘important’ and certainly shouldn’t be to our detriment to facilitate. Ultimately, If NHS and country need him that badly then they should compensate that to make it possible, not me. I’m not personally responsible for his constant ability to go to work. I don’t see why I should have to function as a single parent out of some misplaced moral responsibility.

Taking time off 2/3 times a year as you are ill seems quite excessive too. I think even my non important job would be pulling me aside if I had 2/3 instances of being off as my DH was ill.

I don’t enjoy how often we get poorly but between nursery and DH working at the hospital it does happen pretty frequently. I think I do quite well at not ‘hitting the deck’ in comparison to DH and the kids tbh.

(3 DC, youngest is disabled. I know its fucking hard so dont mean to sound like I'm having a go. I get that I sound snarky. I'mmore surprised)

I don’t disagree. I see your point, but Hypothetically, if DH’s job is so important he can’t take time off for anything other than his own sickness… what would I do with DD whilst DS was in hospital? Im not allowed to leave my disabled 3yo in hospital alone and I’m not allowed to take my 2yo with me 🤷‍♀️
ultimately if a job is genuinely so important that someone isn’t able to function as a partner or parent then it needs to compensate that accordingly, either by paying compensation for an employee to agree not to enter into any dependant situation, or covering the cost of replacing them within that family dynamic.
If we could afford even a PT nanny to take that secondary parent role then I would happily let hubby trot off to work everyday unencumbered but unfortunately we cannot, so I continue to demand his support without any guilt xx

@Crunchymum

Keep drinking OP, even if you keep throwing it back up soon after. Small sips every few minutes sometimes works better than an entire glass at a time. Your body probably will absorb some of the liquid before you throw up again and in any case throwing up water/apple juice/rehydration solution is easier than throwing up bile.
Keep breastfeeding and keep an eye on your little one for signs of dehydration too - here’s the NHS info on that. Basically keep track of wet nappies and check her soft spot on her head isn’t sunken in. She’s likely to be fine because she’s not the one being sick, but it’s good to keep an eye on it.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dehydration/

Thank you for taking the time to explain @Thehonestbadger

I do understand that my situation is not everyone else situation. But it's obviously the basis of my opinion.

I have a chronic illness but am lucky enough to work from home so thus negates a lot of sickness time I'd have otherwise probably taken.

My DP is able to take time off to help me on the rare occasions I am ill.

I have a lot of local family support and thankfully my disabled child only has a bi annual overnight hospital stay and my older kids are looked after by grandparents if daddy can't take the day off. We don't have ad hoc / regular admissions, I can imagine this is hard to manage.

I realise my situation is probably not the norm for most people. And I wasn't trying to dig you out. As I say I appreciate you taking the time to explain.

Twaddle. In my previous job the place couldn’t physically open if I wasn’t in when scheduled - piss poor planning by someone higher up, but it was what it was.

Him going in doesn’t mean he wanted to - perhaps he’s worried he’ll lose his job and not be able to provide, or let lots of people down.

I'm a single parent and have been in this situation, I would ask any close friends or family if they could help.

If not I do the essentials to keep the baby alive so feeding and nappy changes.

Op fennel tea is brilliant at settling the stomach.

Thanks for the extra replies. I totally agree he didn't need to go in. Anyway I managed a nap with baby, woke up and puked again so he's on his way home with supplies and will take DD so I can rest and vom in peace!

Twaddle. In my previous job the place couldn’t physically open if I wasn’t in when scheduled - piss poor planning by someone higher up, but it was what it was.

So if you ended up in hospital for six weeks unconscious in a coma, the company would just shut down would it?

Of course not. Nobody is indispensable. That's a lie companies tell their employees to guilt them into prioritising work above all else.

Him going in doesn’t mean he wanted to - perhaps he’s worried he’ll lose his job and not be able to provide, or let lots of people down.

But he's happy to let his partner and child down?

How are you now OP. Hope your partner came home and you are feeling a bit better x

He did come home and had a lovely day with baby and just brought her up for feeds. I'm too weak to even pick her up! I'm still being sick so feeling pretty grim 😪 xx

Have you taken any travel sickness pills?

Also, be careful about dehydration. If this continues you should call 111.

If it's any consolation, it's how I lost my pregnancy weight 🤣Hope you feel better soon!

No I can't keep anything down and dp didn't go to pharmacy. Okay at what point do I ring them? I think it's food poisoning as a few people I was out with the other day are poorly too.

The thought did cross my mind 🙈 thank you x

I have a temp of 38.7. Just had some paracetamol and sipping some lucozade so fingers crossed I keep it down because I feel bloody awful 😪