Why you should wear gloves when chopping chillies, and other life lessons

[UnravellingTheWorld]

So this was not my first time in a kitchen. I have chopped chillies before, gloveless, with no disastrous consequences, but today my hands were feeling extra dry and while I was chopping I remember feeling a slight tingle. That was two hours ago. I obviously washed my hands as soon as I was done chopping.

My word, my frigging hands feel like they have been dropped in alcohol and set alight. Especially on the knuckles where they're dry. I have put lotion on twice since, and honestly I still think I could fry and egg on these bad boys. May have to go bathe them in chocolate soon!

Anyone else had any similar life lessons?

Don't chop chillies then take out contact lenses. Or have sex.

Don't feed dried chillie peppers to your parrot and then pick your nose. (I was 7).

Don't chop chillies and then insert a tampon. (Not me; I read this somewhere.)

Don't put plastic bottles of soda in your garage in Winter to chill, and especially not during one of the coldest Winters ever. The bottles will go off like a bomb. I was a street away and heard one explode from within the garage. We couldn't go into the garage either until they'd all exploded. The force was incredible.

If you slice a garlic clove and theres green running through it, cut it out. It will make the garlic flavour bitter.

I learnt that from a Marco Pierre White video and it's a game changer

I have oodles of experience of this, I now hold the chilli with the stem and use scissors. It's the only way.

That is brilliant 👏

Yep. Me too. Lesson learnt a few years ago during hayfever season. I honestly thought I'd go blind.

I coat my hands in olive oil before chilli chopping and wash after, it works very well.

Don’t fill horses haynets at the stable while wearing a chunky fleece jacket.

Don’t clean your jewellery over the sink without the plug in.

Don’t shake a mat or dog blanket outside standing downwind of it

Dont sweep the leaves out of the garage on a windy day

Dont put bottles and potions at the bottom end of a changing table

Dont go on holiday (or host anyone) when its their first holiday with a new dc

And if your hands are still throbbing, try soaking them in milk

This happened to my mum ( the thing with the chillies I mean). Her hands went bright red and had huge blisters. It was basically a chemical burn ( though of course as a child I didn't know that).

Mine is - don't throw things flamboyantly into hot oil. It will not end well!

Sage advice, everyone! Genius tip using the scissors for chillies - I'll be doing that next time!!

The intense tingling has died down now. It's just as well - I ate the chocolate I was going to use to cool them down.

Don't let your partner chop chillies gloveless then get handsy later because it fucking burns for days.

What do you mean by your third point

Don't spray weed killer if there is even slight breeze! Straight in the eye ball

and your labia will resemble a bouncy castle.

So I've heard.

The first holiday with your first dc is a nightmare compared to all holidays previously. Pre baby holidays are relaxing, you can sleep late, stay up late, eat, drink, go on trips without a care in the world. Post dc its …struggle with more baggage than a military expedition, up at the crack of dawn as the baby is unsettled and wakes early, trying to find a restaurant you can fit a pushchair in and that has something suitable for dc to eat (if they are that old), trying to find a doctor for the mosquito bites that have the dc howling and you think they might be infected, begging your other half to take the dc out of the hotel room when they wake so one of you can have a lie in (and so the parent that does, is just roaming around at silly oclock with nothing to do). Etc etc

If you are on holiday with someone who is just coming to the realization that they have buggered up all their holidays for the forseable future, it can also ruin your holiday as they whine, rail, and try and palm the dc off on you. If you are hosting someone on their first holiday, its the same except you also get to hear the baby screaming in the middle of the night as they are out of their routine, and have to clean puke/sticky fingers/sick from your sofas etc

I have been on all sides of this harrowing experience, it can be very ugly for all concerned 🤣🤣🤣