Struggling With In Law Staying.

[buddyhollysglasses]

Does anyone else struggle when their in laws visit? I just feel like a prisoner in my own home. The days are so long and I find it extremely tiring having someone else in my own home.

My FIL is currently visiting from abroad and staying with us. We are almost at the end of his visit. He constantly follows DH around the house and doesn't lift a finger.

I just can't wait until he's gone. I know it sounds awful but I just want my house back.

Plan things to do outside or away from the house
Day trip
meet a friend for coffee
errands that need to be done

It can be challenging but it’s good that you’ve given them this time together. It will pass.

Doesn’t lift a finger? What do you expect him to do?

But his recycling cans in the recycling bin. Put plates in the dishwasher when he's finished with them. Replace a toilet roll when it's finished and he's used the last. Put the toilet seat down.

MrsSkylerWhite if someone is coming to stay in my house, I expect them to at least tidy up after themselves eg, bring their empty plates/bowls/mugs etc in to the kitchen, put stuff in the bin, help tidy up after a meal etc unless there is a medical reason why they can't help out. My brother never lifted a finger whenever he visited and as a result I don't invite him any more. I even put him up when he was homeless and he left the bedroom and bathroom in a tip

Exactly. He is a guest and not a stranger. I also have children to look after all day as it's half term. I expect him to want to help me. I expect him to do basic things around the house to help like clearing up after himself. It's basic manners.

I also struggle with having guests in my house, a weekend is fine but any more than that is very draining. My mother visits from another country and I absolutely dread it (also feel awful admitting to that), we have busy lives with work and various kid's activities and she just sits drinking wine and getting on my nerves! Even the thought of this Christmas fills me with stress

I feel the same even for a Fri - Monday visit.

They just don't tidy up as I would ..mugs, constant teaspoons for billions of cups of tea, saying "I don't mind" when asked what size portion of food they would like, leaving crumbs everywhere if they do end up making their own lunch. They also do theatrical loud yawns and cough constantly for no apparent reason.

I go to bed at 8:30 if I can get away with it.

I would feel so embarrassed and a burden not clearing up after myself. Some people are shameless.

Sounds like my exMIL. Crumbs glued to the worktop by jam... half empty cans or cups of tea left everywhere which she would then knock over or the baby would get hold of them...

OP, would your FIL do anything if given explicit instructions? Like 'would you mind collecting any crockery that needs washing/any recycling for the bin please?' My dad is a bit old fashioned but if I asked him to do something specific, like wipe down the kitchen surfaces, he would, partly because he would see it as a one-off... drove Mum mad as he rarely does much at home!

I feel for you
ny inlaws don’t stay but seeing them suffocates me. Can’t stand them. They’re awful people and also don’t lift a finger.

therapy helped me a little but now I have children I find it so much harder to cope with them.