My neighbour is driving me mad!

[Silky12]

I live in a small cul de sac, I’m at the end so the houses on either side of us are forward which means our bedroom window is level with the driveway and garden of one of our neighbours. They are an older couple and although we don’t know them well they are very nice and we’ve helped each other out with small things in the past. HOWEVER! He is driving me mad. He is up every morning between 0530-0545 filling up his watering can (surprisingly loud when water hits a plastic echo chamber), unlocking his car (loud beep), slamming his car door, talking to his dog, taking bins out etc. He’s in his 80’s so it’s not like he needs to get things done before going to work. I know this is the price you pay for neighbours but it’s just so early and I’m so fed up!

My neighbour wakes us at 5:15 everyday. It ruins your life.

MNHQ clearly on fire today. It was in complete jest and I'm sure he'll have had a very good innings. 🤣

I'm an early riser (5am), but I don't expect the rest of the street to do the same and I respect their need for peace and quiet. Your neighbour is being unreasonable here, not you. Can't he water the garden with a hose pipe?

We had exactly the same situation with our lovely elderly neighbours last year. Very early risers who would trundle their bins down the long gravel drive at 5am, begin work on their garden, potter about banging (both slightly deaf) and run their outside tap. Worse in the summer obviously, but would still be up and about all year round from around 4am. They've now moved out to a retirement home. We never said anything as they were so kind and obviously never meant to be a pain and I knew it would really upset them but it was annoying!

I'd be tempted to reply to his PA comments with some of my own. Men like him are not nice - they're misogynistic arseholes. He was like this when he was young and being old doesn't change his fundamental personality.

No you don't have to.

You really don't, it is a total myth and it never ceases to amaze me just how many people believe this fallacy. It is better for the plants if they have already been watered before it gets really hot on a sunny day, but there is no law that says you can't water them whenever they need it, whatever time of day it happens to be.

I do this and sleep like a log. I love these videos. I only wake up if the cats are chasing each other and run over my face 😂

DH thinks we should say something too but I know for a fact he won’t change the entire routine of his day. I really just came on here to vent. Anyway as he has a generous final salary pension (his words, not mine) he can afford to go on numerous holidays and is currently in Spain so at least I can catch up on my sleep for a while. Also although he’s annoying he is also not a bad person. His DW is unwell and I sometimes wonder if he needs the routine and time outside for a bit of a break.

I hate to ask this but do you have a male relative or friend who can speak to him? I know the "poor little woman" attitude from older men and there is nothing that you can do about it even though it is infuriating and frustrating. My Dad was like that and anything I suggested was ignored but if hubby repeated it, "How clever" or "What a good idea!"

Why is the answer to bloody noisy neighbours/any noisy people always bastard earplugs? (First response in!) Why should the onus be on the person suffering, have to change and adapt what they are doing? Why is the onus not on the inconsiderate noisy fecker to be more bloody quiet?!

I lived next to a retired builder, they notoriously wake early. Every morning i woke to the metal garage door, the van door, then him leaving. Now a very fitness oriented person who never sleeps lives there. I haven't done it in a long time but I used to be the neighbour who sang loudly when drunk, i figure it all goes into the mix.

@tailinthejam It most definitely is NOT a complete myth!!! I've witnessed entire gardens die after being watered during high temperatures! It's not about laws for goodness sake, it's because when you water plants, it brings the roots to just below the surface and if it's hot weather (or even just sunny) it's enough to fry them which in turn, kills the plants.
Both my neighbour and a friend of mine have killed all of there's off after watering in what they thought were acceptable temperatures

Wait til he is out one day, then put a load of foam in the bottom of his watering can, or a massive sponge and a blob of glue to hold it in.

It's very, very fucking annoying. Dh is younger, but a builder and up early (5.30am) and out the house by 6am in the week. On a weekend he's forever fucking banging around outside early doors. Not 5.45am early, but often about 7.30am. Until I very quietly bollock the knobber. But ndn on one side are also wankers and their dcs are out playing til 10/11pm, directly under our bedroom window, they trundle bins up at down at 11.45pm, and also pack their car up for carbooting at stupid o'clock at night. So if dh wakes them up I can't get too upset.

Pinch his watering cab? Line it with cotton wool? Weedkiller his plants?

It would drive me mad.

It is horticulturally impossible for watering to kill plants in that way. The reason plants die in hot weather is due to a lack of water damaging the roots, which in turn causes the top of the plant to shrivel, not an excess of water on the foliage. Those entire gardens that have died would have been killed by the high temperatures and because they weren't watered soon enough.

The science bit is that too many people water little and often. That means that only the top few inches of the soil is dampened. As a consequence of that, the plants feel no need to grow longer roots downwards to seek a source of water, since it is already readily available near the surface. Then, during a really hot spell, the surface of the soil dries out, the plants don't have any deep roots, and they don't have any water. Then someone comes along and waters them. Too late, as the damage has already been done. It is NOT the water that causes the damage. It is an absence of water.

What you are supposed to do is water extremely thoroughly so that the plants send down deeper roots. Then, in periods of really hot weather, they still have a water source to draw on.

@AlfietheSchnauzer It is a myth, sorry. Watering in hot weather / full sun does not kill plants. Not watering them soon enough is what kills them.

Sadly I don’t think talking to him will change anything

DH thinks we should say something too but I know for a fact he won’t change the entire routine of his day

So you're venting while refusing the easiest way forward which is to talk to him? He has no idea his actions are pissing you off. Give him the opportunity to change what he's doing, then you won't have imagine what he would do, which, by the way, only makes it worse for you.

When water restrictions were on in Melbourne, a neighbour had her watering system switch on at 2.00.a.m., with no need at all for this odd timing. We mentioned it waking us up and she said: "It's only on for ten minutes". But by then we were awake!!!!! Aaarghh.

I make all that noise from 6am

I'm usually up about 5 in summer but I delay outside noise til 6

I don't think 6am is early (and neither will you when you get to 50+ )

50+ here and 6am is fucking early. And an incredibly inconsiderate time to be doing noisy stuff outside for the hell of it.

@LaurieFairyCake i don’t think 6 is necessarily early to get up and I usually wake naturally by about 6:30/6:45ish but it’s pretty selfish to wake other people up at that time. My neighbour doesn’t seem to realise the noise he makes, you clearly do!

Anyway they’re still away on holiday so I’m sleeping beautifully at the moment.

I'm glad you're not my neighbour. I'm over 50 and definitely not a morning person.

Next door one side have young children and if they are playing in the garden at 7.30am it's okay, it's children having fun. If it was a lawnmower, power tool or other repetitive droning noise I would not be thrilled.

Unless you live in a detached house in a field, people owe it to their neighbours to be a bit considerate. 6am is early and it's selfish to be banging and clattering about - just because you are awake you don't have the right to ensure everyone else is.
I think people who wake their neighbours at 6am would he the first to moan if their neighbours decided to play loud heavy bass music late a night because they were awake!

Neighbours can be annoying at any age. I'm afraid it's part and parcel of living somewhere where you have neighbours!

Our opposite neighbour has a couple of lodgers. They come and go at all times of the day and night, must be some kind of shift workers. Both have "boy racer" cars, so they don't even drive in or out quietly as it's all revving and wheel spins and one has that electronically generated back firing system fitted, which is brilliant at 4 am in the morning as it's popping away going down the road!

The guy next door is in his 50s and is having some kind of mid life crisis. He'd always been normal and no trouble until last Summer when he started going out into his garden at 6am playing some weird "heavy beat" music at full volume for hours, all day, every day, and if he's not playing his music, he's doing DIY, i.e. using a pneumatic drill from 6am to dig out and replace all his fence posts!

I'd welcome an OAP just pottering around filling a watering can!

Because different people have different jobs, different lifestyles, different routines, etc. Who's to say what's "reasonable"?

The OP's neighbours may get annoyed/irritated if they have socialising/parties going on until after 11 in their garden which disturbs them.

I'd say a general rule of thumb is quiet required between midnight and 6am. That gives six hours of decent sleep for most people. Pottering around the garden at 6am is really no worse than still laughing/shouting or playing music in your garden at 11pm.

Shift workers will also be noisy if they leave or arrive in the early hours.

You can't control what others do, so best to concentrate on what you can do, i.e. double glazed windows, earplugs, blackout blinds, etc.

Oh god I completely with you OP. I apparently am an awful troublesome neighbour because when they were drilling into the party wall next to my bedroom where I sleep at 7am in the morning on Sunday, how dare I come over and ask them to stop until 9am - that's why every council has guidance on noisy hours.