What would you have done? DD's letter

[CurlewKate]

Before I start-I know what the right thing to do is and I did it. But ooooh the temptation!

My dd graduated 5 years ago. She and her stuff came briefly home, then moved off again, leaving behind a big box of books. Yesterday, with her permission, I opened the box to put the books on a recently cleared bookshelf. Among the books were a lot of papers and other bits and pieces which I put in a pile on the desk in what is still her room. One of these things is a sealed envelope addressed to Mum and Dad and decorated with happy little drawings. Obviously, I put it in the pile amongst other stuff so it looks as if I haven't seen it and obviously I'm not going to open it. But ooooh the curiosity!

I'm pretty sure it's nothing horrible. We've always had a good relationship. And it does have little pictures of birds all over it-so I suspect it might be soppy. But I do want to give her the chance to quietly forget about it if she wants to. Well, I don't really want to do that, of course. But I know I have to!

You did the right thing.

An example of great parenting. A lot of people should take a leaf out of your book.

You are abetter mother than I. I couldnt have helped myself. Awful yes but curiosity would've gotten hold of me and I would've made the mistake of reading it

and i hope all the people who would have opened it would have read a foul letter because an invasion of their childs privacy is not on (op whether she tells you or not or just bins it you did the right thing)

I'd have taken a picture and sent it to her and asked whether I could open it? I honestly can't understand why you wouldn't at least mention it to her.

No youve done the right thing don't open it she hasn't given it to you. It could literally be anything from a soppy thankyou letter to a suicide note. Whatever it is, is none of your business unless she chooses to hand it to you

Get the kettle on and get it steamed open 😁😉

You are a lovely mum!

I wouldn't open it unless she gives it to you. It would be such an invasion of privacy.

I actually find it pretty sad that so many would have opened it.
I would not have opened it.
I would probably have taken a photo and sent it and asked her.
There is the possibility that she intended you to find it. So I would ask, but if she says not then I would not have opened it, because she is an adult and I would not want to intrude on her privacy.

and imagine if it was a suicide note, she wrote it ages ago, what pain would that bring up for her, so many people here sound so unbelievably selfish

@Reallybadidea Because I want her to be completely free to do what she wants with it. I suppose I probably ought to throw it away-she must have forgotten about it-but I'm not that saintly!!

Whatever news is in the letter would be 5 years out of date i guess. I would probably be a bit curious though if I'm honest. @@CurlewKate you sound like a very considerate mother. kudos to you for respecting her privacy.

Did she let you open it in the end?

I'd tell her how I had found it and ask her if I could open it.

Throwing it away would be as wrong as opening it - it’s hers to decide about!

When I was at uni my mother used to open my post, then take the letters into work, frank them in work and send them on to me, the narcissistic witch....

Well done for respecting your daughter's privacy, you sound like a great mother