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Original poster

What things do you like doing on your own?

41 replies

Gemi33 · 31/05/2023 08:48

I am nearly 40, single, no children and live alone. Recently I've started feeling like I'm really stuck in a rut and that apart from work I don't really do much. I do struggle with anxiety and at the moment in particular there are a few things going on that are making it worse and sometimes I'm finding being on my own quite difficult because there's nothing to distract me from overthinking and worrying. I do have a few friends but most are in relationships/have children and often aren't available and I think because I don't love doing things on my own or don't know what to do, I don't really do anything.

So does anyone feel similar? Or do you love doing things on your own? If so, what sort of things/where do you go on your own? Looking for some inspiration to try and change things up and get out of my head a bit before I drive myself crazy - any suggestions welcome!

xx

OP posts:
InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 31/05/2023 08:56

Walking, running, hiking, urban exploring, hill bagging, wild camping. Podcasts, batch cooking, crosswords, sudoku. Cinema, going to the climbing wall, looking up local history in the research department at the library, researching family tree.

MaudGonneOutForChips · 31/05/2023 08:58

I absolutely only go clothes shopping alone, but that’s not really what you were asking.

I prefer going to art exhibitions and the cinema alone. Classical music/opera/theatre I’m equally happy alone or in company. Walking/hiking are differently pleasurable alone vs in company. Nearly any form of class (learning a language, pottery, tai chi), I prefer not to have a friend, though I’ve often made friends at the class.

shakeitoffsis · 31/05/2023 09:02

I just love going for walks alone with a good podcast on.

WimpoleHat · 31/05/2023 09:05

I really enjoy going to the theatre and cinema on my own, I
must admit. I can go and see more experimental things/things on the off chance and don’t need to worry if someone else is enjoying it too. Same for exhibitions.

Gtsr443 · 31/05/2023 09:07

Going for walks and listening to music.
Noodling about antique shops, book shops, car boot fairs. Having the time to do everything at my own pace.
I became addicted to travelling solo overseas before kids came along. Maybe plan a trip for yourself?

ThePorchSwingCrowd · 31/05/2023 09:09

Sorry you’re struggling. I do have a partner and children and do lots with friends too, but to be honest, I still love doing things on my own.

Things I do regularly on my own,

running
walking the dogs
test out new recipes
go to coffee shops and read
a weekly yoga class
meditate (great for anxiety)

I’ve also done evening classes by myself over the years. Lots of people go alone and you end up chatting. A few of us went to other classes together and one of them joins me when I go running or dog walking once a month or so.

Sometimes you’ve just got to do it if you’re not happy with how things are. And I’d definitely try to get into meditating. I started doing it when there was something in my life causing me a lot of anxiety and it really helped.

beguilingeyes · 31/05/2023 09:12

Just about everything. I was single until I was 50 so if I didn't do things on my own, a lot of the time I wouldn't do them.
Gigs. I go to a lot of gigs. Theatre, cinema, travelling. I've done Vegas and New York on my own. I loved it. You can do what you want when you want.

shivawn · 31/05/2023 09:13

There's not a whole lot that I prefer doing on my own to be honest. I do like eating alone though, it's more relaxing for me. I always go out for lunch at work rather than joining everyone in the staff room or canteen, my heart usually sinks a bit when someone invites themselves along with me. I really like my colleagues company but I have a very busy and social job so I like to just be quiet and decompress a bit at lunch.

Spottedsox · 31/05/2023 09:14

What makes you worry?
You could try a mild anti anxiety medication to help your anxiety?
What are your interests?
Any hobbies you could take up at home or join in with in a group.

ReeseWitherfork · 31/05/2023 09:16

I quite like being at home so most of my “alone” activities involve baking, cooking, reading, painting random walls in my house. Although I quite like walking the dog alone and he much prefers when we leave the house for that 😅

CharlotteRumpling · 31/05/2023 09:30

I am married with DC but I still do lots of stuff alone
Theatre and movies that DH doesn't fancy
Heritage walks
Solo travel to clear my head
Coffee shops
Swimming

mindutopia · 31/05/2023 09:30

I absolutely love doing things on my own. Always have, but I do have Dh and 2 dc, so I love it even more now that it means a break. Personally, I do everything on my own: long hikes and camping, swimming, beach trips, eating out, cinema, traveling.

But I think if you’re unsure and it’s all a bit intense, baby steps. Gardening, book to read and a coffee in a cafe, walk or bike ride, and then maybe think of things you’d like to do to meet new people. There are so many groups out there. We have a local gardening collective that meets weekly to tend a local community garden. There are groups like Mental Health Mates or Mental Health Swims which are great ways to chat with other people who also might need someone to talk to. I belong to a support group on Facebook that also organises walks and lunches for people living with the same condition (you will likely find similar just for a hobby or similar). Volunteer with something locally. We have a monthly bacon baps in the village hall that raises money for village projects, or you could volunteer at a school for children to read to you.

LunaNorth · 31/05/2023 09:32

Gardening.
Exercise classes.
Walks.
Outdoor swimming.
Museums and art galleries.
Shopping, especially in book shops.

All better without chit chat.

dudsville · 31/05/2023 09:34

My mum is very social and lives alone and really suffers. She gets out and does loads on her own and enjoys it, but not as much as she would if she had someone to do things with. It's not the same as someone who lives with people enjoying a moment to be alone.

Hoolihan · 31/05/2023 09:36

Walks, yoga, galleries, theatre/cinema, beach, travel. I love doing things alone as I feel I can really please myself and I find company draining after a while.

The only things I don't love doing alone so much are drinking and eating out.

PhoenixArisen · 31/05/2023 09:38

I walk every day on my own. Sometimes locally and sometimes further afield.
Galleries and cinema.

My friends who live alone have joined local
Social groups and meet with them to do social evenings and walks.
Try meetup if you'd like to see if there's similar in your area.

ThreeRingCircus · 31/05/2023 09:39

The things I really love doing on my own are:

Going on a walk and listening to a podcast.

Going to the cinema. I was weirdly nervous about this the first time I did it but loads of people go to the cinema on their own and it felt completely normal.

Buying a newspaper or taking my book and going to sit in a café and read with a coffee.

Going swimming.

Visiting a museum or art gallery.

Batch cooking a load of meals for the freezer. I stick the radio on in the kitchen and just get into a zone.

Gardening.

When I was single I went on quite a few organised holidays. I did a group tour of European capitals and also one in Canada. It was a nice way to meet other solo travellers.

GreyCarpet · 31/05/2023 09:41

I do loads of stuff on my own - going for dinner, NT properties, pub, gigs, festivals, yoga, swimming, camping, i hate clothes shopping so only do that on my own!

I joined a band after going to see a gig and getting talking to the singer at the bar afterwards and joined another band a few years later after bring approached by a guy I knew from the pub who'd seen videos of me playing with the first band!

Doing stuff on your own is fun.

BMrs · 31/05/2023 09:53

I love going for walks listening to an E book, I've recently started a Pilates class and I love to read, binge tv...

Original poster
Gemi33 · 31/05/2023 09:58

Thanks so much for all the lovely replies, I didn't expect so many!

I am on anxiety medication and at times it's not too bad but at the moment my dad is quite seriously unwell and I have also met someone who I really like (for the first time in a very long time) which is obviously lovely but also seems to have triggered alot of overthinking and second guessing myself and I'm constantly worried that he's going to end it, I just feel like between that and my dad I'm in a bit of a cycle of constant worry which is exhausting and I'm struggling to distract myself from it just stuck at home on my own.

Thank you for the suggestions. I have been to the cinema on my own before and that was ok but probably could do that more. I do love the theatre but have never been on my own. I'm trying to lose weight so would like to exercise more but enjoy walking so much more with someone else but there often isn't anyone available so I need to motivate myself to go alone. I used to be a member of a gym but cancelled it to save money but I do miss having somewhere to go and a change of scenery after work sometimes.

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 31/05/2023 10:00

Going to Guys and Dolls alone tonight. Don't have the patience for back and forth with friends and DH is v busy this week.

Zippedydoo123 · 31/05/2023 11:29

I am only borderline extrovert which means I enjoy doing nearly everything on my own. Especially after 18 years single parenting I have learned to grow much stronger emotionally. Now ds is much older the me time is bliss I doubt I would ever grow to hate it.

I do enjoy interaction with others though and am very chatty when out and about but only need a small handful of friends to feel cheery. I think it helps I grew up on my own (only child) so I learned to be self reliant from a young age.

Flippppppp · 31/05/2023 23:27

I love swimming - in the sea or the pool. I get really anxious about all manner of things but swimming really clears my head and, to me, it feels like an acceptable activity to do alone. I go early morning at the pool or the beach and most of the people I meet there are alone. Also, it’s the sort of activity that you can’t really tell who’s good at it or not if that makes sense!! I always go in the slow lane and plod along quietly. Hope you find your thing and your peace :) x

SarahDippity · 31/05/2023 23:30

Would you think of an art class? My sister finds it really enjoyable she was a complete beginner, and has quite a stressful job, so doing something creative but organised, in a group but quiet and absorbing, so it’s a nice way to carve out time.

Freeballing · 31/05/2023 23:31

I love walking the dogs and listening to podcasts, gardening and listening to podcasts while the dogs potter around me. I find yoga gets me out of my head a lot I have to concentrate on the poses. I like to crochet in the evening, I find it hard to concentrate on watching anything or listening to anything unless I'm doing something else, my head just runs away with me so crocheting while watching something slows my brain down and shuts it up.