CMS

[awesomebaby1]

Hi

I have an almost 3 month old baby with my ex. He hasn't contributed towards anything for her or offered to help. He didn't help with anything for her while I was pregnant either. He does see her sometimes and says he loves her but he isn't helping financially. Money isn't an issue he has a good job and no other children.

When I got the BC (he isn't on) and child benefit I've put in an application to CMS. I've had a notification that it is being processed and they are now "contacting other parent".

Does anyone know how they do this, is it a phone call or letter? I ask because I expect a whole load of abuse when he is contacted.

They also say they will ask him whether or not he is the father or not, I expect he will say no or he isn't sure to delay things?

I know I could phone them but I end up on hold for an hour and just wondered if anyone had any recent experience of this.

If he says no And requests a dna. If the dna comes back positive, then he'll still have to pay the backdate as well as the dna costs.

thank you @CrumbliestCrumble that's really helpful. Any idea how long that can take?

I don't need his money immediately but it would be really helpful when I go back to work with childcare costs etc

Be wary of "he'll have to".
Supposed to, sure.
But as many will tell you, including myself, there is no 'have to' about it unfortunately.
If he decides to dig his heels about paying it's a very long process to sort it out. An easy system for a shit dad to play.
Plan to receive nothing and then anything you get is a bonus

@Sux2buthen thanks

How do you mean dig his heels in? Surely if he works he will have to pay something?

@awesomebaby1 I'm afraid they find a way. If he's self employed he'll fiddle his income. Mine quit his job everytime they caught up with him and onus was on me to say where he was working even though we lived 200 miles away. Then he started exercising his PR by refusing to bring DD back after contact. CMS just said they couldn't help. They're overstretched and lots of absent dads are good at playing the system

He may be fine and pay when and what he is told.
But if not, there are a lot of ways to avoid it and any process to get the money takes months on end. The reason it takes so long is because there are so many 'fathers' that wheedle their way out of supporting their kids and they all need chasing up with very few positive outcomes.
It shouldn't happen but it happens all the time with pretty much zero consequence apart from a rare few

Thanks for the responses. That's really disheartening to hear.

I can manage but I think with the cost of childcare things will be tight when I go back to work so I was hoping for some contribution from him towards baby. I just want the best for her.

He's definitely employed at the moment and has a good job, it's not something he could switch to being self employed for. That's not to say in future he wouldn't go self employed.

It's already been 8 weeks of CMS "processing" my application so I can expect this to drag on for quite a while then?

He doesn't have PR as he's not on the birth certificate.

Based on your original post it seems likely he won't play ball at least at first.
Hopefully I'm wrong
Also, yes it can all take quite a while! Good luck

I guess I understand why it takes so long as they have to check every thing but at the same time it seems so ridiculous, I can't just opt out of providing for her.

He's got money but he's very tight/selfish with it which is why I'm expecting a load of abuse. He likes to have expensive and nice things for himself but hasn't bought a single thing for his daughter.

Fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻

OP it's utterly frustrating BUT the government are really generous at supporting you with childcare costs as it's in their interest to keep you in the workplace. Won't pretend it's not hard, but it's doable even without him. If you're persistent though, maybe you'll get something. Best of luck to you