Flaky people who ghost you: why do they do this?

[BansheeofInisherin]

Am I right to be annoyed by this? A friend keeps tagging me on social media suggesting we should meet. When I ask her to name a place or a time, she goes quiet. So I left well enough alone, thinking she is too busy and just wants to be polite. Then last week she tagged me again, suggesting a date. I replied saying it was ok and asked her to suggest a time and venue, and now she has gone quiet again.

Why do people suggest meeting if they are so stupendously busy that they can't communicate properly? If she doesn't reply, I am just going to book something else on that day.

I’d reply saying - you keep doing this asking to meet and then don’t suggest a time or place - copy and paste at your leisure -

I have FB friends like this, always publically asking when we can meet up but then ignoring any private suggestions.

They just want to show their other FB friends how well they know you, they don't actually want to meet up.

You can safely ignore.

I am not famous or rich or important in any way; find it really odd that anybody would like to posture like this. I am on social media but not in a big way.

I find friendships very odd these days, especially post pandemic. I feel like so many people say they want to meet, but actually don't want to, but pretend they want to... and so on. Everybody seems very.... distracted.

Could she be ADHD/ autistic? Many neurodiverse people find the back and forth of making arrangements via social media and texts really hard.

I'm not saying that's not rude, just not intentionally rude/ trying to mess with you. It could be that she really likes and wants to spend time with you but can't get her shit together to make plans. If you also like her, making a really specific suggestion of date, time and place could help.

I suppose. But I do see this in other people too.

Op I stopped all this crap. The same all mind games love to meet. Totally vague. No followups. Was thinking can I be assed with this. No!! Its not since covid its people are time wasters now I think...

I am autistic but I have no difficulties in planning friendship meets.

I do this all the time
Not sure why really

I prefer the idea of socializing more than actual socializing

I prefer actual socialising to online socialising- except for MN which I love!- but I feel increasingly alone in that.

How annoying, it could be worth removing her from social media.

Well, she has got back to say can we do a Zoom call, despite us agreeing earlier to meet over a drink in this beautiful weather. I don't do Zoom any more except for work, so I said no.

I guess like you @coxesorangepippin she prefers the idea of socialising to actual socialising, but I am not up for that.

Guilt if you don't make the arrangements, resentment if you do! I think we're all a bit guilty of it... 😄
I have a 'friend' who ghosts me for months on end, then sends me overly flattering, gushy messages desperate to meet. Months pass, rinse repeat.
I've concluded she's not playing with a full deck, and I yearn for the day she decides to ghost me on a permanent basis.