WIBU to not lift a finger? (lighthearted)

[FreezyWater]

STBEXH taking the children away for a holiday tomorrow.
We have been separated for a while and I'm due to move with the DCs in a few weeks time.
It is a very long story but one of the largest reasons for separating is the mental load that always falls on me, the general thoughtlessness and lack of interest in participating in any kind of family time, including holidays. (!)

They leave at 9am tomorrow morning. He seems oddly relaxed and I've just seen him place one tshirt and a pair of jeans (for the next week!) in a suitcase.
DD10 has packed an entire suitcase of stuff and has assured everyone that she is ready.

I have helpfully suggested he might like to take something to wash the children with, and he has vaguely mentioned that they need to take their own towels and that there are roses blooming at the end of the garden.

WIBU to not lift a finger to help him?

(obvs I will make sure the DCs have everything they need... Later on)

Why would you even do that? Anything they need, he can purchase. Otherwise what is the point of getting a divorce if you're just going to carry on doing it!

Don’t do it for them (inc the kids) as a responsible parent I would say to your children “have you got everything you need - pyjamas, shoes, raincoat, towel, toothbrush, hairbrush …” and if they ask for something help them find it, but if he doesn’t check/pack something then he can deal with the consequences

Other than things needed to be safe (so any medications / suncream etc) to be frank I wouldn’t lift a finger - he can sort it out and live with the consequences

how old are the children?

You wouldn't pack his clothes for him whether or not you were separating, would you?

Is it just DD or are there other DC? Does she have suncream and know how important it is to put it on if they'll be outside in hot weather? However useless he is, that's too important to miss.

As long as they have passports and swimmies and prob sun tan lotion I'd presume he's happy to buy everything else.

This. I'd make sure DD had sunscreen and allergy pills and nothing else.

Him, he can whistle.

I’d just make sure they have spare pants, socks, swimmers, suncream and then leave it

I'm afraid I couldn't do this. I would have to make sure they had things they needed. Are you suggesting that your ex-husband won't pack enough things for himself? That wouldn't concern me at all. However, I would be concerned that my children had everything they needed. It's their holiday and they deserve to enjoy it.

I think he needs to learn to do this himself now. You helping in anyway will send the wrong message. At the absolute most I would remind DC to pack suncream and a swimming costume.

And any medication they take.

But really you need to leave him to parent how he sees fit now and if that means they all have a crap time so be it.

I’m assuming they are going somewhere with shops? Then make sure the kids have any comfort item (eg cuddly toys) and medication/suncream. Anything else he can buy there.

How old are dc and where are they going? If there is somewhere with easy access to shops I wouldn't worry too much. Unless there is particular meds or something that dc will be truly miserable without
I would leave him to it.

I wouldn't allow them to take special teddies - my ex would lose anything like that! And yes, I would leave him to it. His time with them, his responsibility. Enjoy some time to yourself :)

Leave him to it. If he has to buy stuff because he hasn't checked then it's his own fault. If DD is 10 then he's had at least ten years to practice being a parent.

Medication only, and a reminder of your phone number to the children.

Safety things only, so medications, sun cream, contact lens/glasses stuff, that’s it.

Thanks all.
DD is 10 and DS8. He needs to step up and parent.