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Original poster

Feeling betrayed

16 replies

pazanne · 29/05/2023 07:32

So there's 10 yrs between my hubby and me, I'm older.

He's good friends with our neighbour and they watch the football and have a few drinks on a regular basis. We all get along very well, we live on a terraced street for context and doors are open when it's nice for the dogs to potter in and out.
Yesterday I was swilling a dog pee in our garden and they were a little drunk and very loud as per usual. I hear them talking about ages, at first he couldn't remember my age but when he did someone yelled cougar and they all fell about laughing.

I'm not a reserved person and I'd normally say my piece but my stomach just felt like it sank. Our 16 year old daughter heard it too and she was outraged. I feel so hurt he never defended me and just laughed. Am I overreacting? It's not the first time he's broken my trust!

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 29/05/2023 07:34

Yes, you’re over reacting.

musixa · 29/05/2023 07:36

No, you're not overreacting.

Chchchchchangesss · 29/05/2023 07:37

What is swilling a dog pee?

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piedbeauty · 29/05/2023 07:37

I'm not surprised you're hurt. Talk to him about it when he's sober.

Littlethingsmeanalot · 29/05/2023 07:37

Yup over reacting, why was your kid outraged, how odd

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 29/05/2023 07:39

He didn't defend himself either. I think you're taking it too personaly if it was a one off.

Original poster
pazanne · 29/05/2023 07:40

Tipping a soapy bucket over a wee lol

OP posts:
tutori · 29/05/2023 07:40

YABU

CraneBoysMysteries · 29/05/2023 07:45

'Swilling a dog pee' is all I've taken from this post ..

A new one for me!

Mehmeh22 · 29/05/2023 07:58

If you'd been together a short while, fair enough but clearly you've been together 16 years at least so why are you bothered by this? It's just a stupid comment. It doesn't change anything. Did you expect him to change the mood to serious and tell them not to call you that?

Original poster
pazanne · 29/05/2023 08:02

We have been together a long time. I can't change the way the comment made me feel, it hurt! And yeah I did expect him not to join in with the laughter.

OP posts:
Weallgottachangesometime · 29/05/2023 08:04

I mean it sounds like the conversation was a bit crass, but that’s often what happens when people drink isn’t it. It doesn’t sound like an insult to you though, I thought cougar was a good thing- like a sexy older woman?

If you didn’t like it then of course mention it and sort it with him.

Did you feel it was an insult to you?

What response would you have preferred he give?

musixa · 29/05/2023 08:05

CraneBoysMysteries · 29/05/2023 07:45

'Swilling a dog pee' is all I've taken from this post ..

A new one for me!

Normal thing to stop it smelling or staining.

MaudGonneOutForChips · 29/05/2023 08:19

Honestly, I’d be more put off by a spouse who was roaring drunkenly in the neighbours’ garden on a regular basis, than not ‘defending’ you against the term ‘cougar’.

Floralys2 · 29/05/2023 08:22

Getting pissed up and being loud in the garden on a regular basis

Thank god I don't live anywhere near you

Original poster
pazanne · 29/05/2023 08:22

MaudGonneOutForChips · 29/05/2023 08:19

Honestly, I’d be more put off by a spouse who was roaring drunkenly in the neighbours’ garden on a regular basis, than not ‘defending’ you against the term ‘cougar’.

He doesn't normally get that drunk. It bothered me a lot too!

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