Pregnant again! Close age gap advice!

[SaulGoodman1]

Hello,

Thanks for reading.

just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 2. Currently have a 14 month old.

baby number 1 was planned and we were going to ttc number 2 within the next 6months anyway so not at all unhappy about it. Just didn’t expect it to happen so quick!

However since finding out and the nausea kicking in, I’m starting to panic.

How will I cope with 2 under 2 practically and emotionally?

life has gotten easier and easier as the months go on with dc. That’s the reason we wanted 2 close together as didn’t want to get our freedoms back to only start all over again. We also wanted them to grow up at similar stages.

however now I am worrying about the practicality. I have a supportive family and on hand grandparents. Me and DP are 50/50.

However I keep panicking and thinking wtf have we done? Especially when I think about things I do now with baby that I’ll struggle to then do, like just nipping to the park just me and dc, or just popping to the shop with baby for milk or whatever. My baby is so east going I even take them to get my nails and eyebrows done. The next baby may not be so laid back.

Also naps! How on earth do people manage a double nap schedule? You’d never leave the house!

Also I know I won’t have as much help in terms of babysitting with 2 as I do with 1 so my ‘me’ time will be sparse and out the window for a few years.

I know we’re very very lucky but after the newborn stage, life has reverted back to how it was prior to dc in a lot of ways. We take it in turns to go out socially and have grandparents whenever we go out together. However I doubt me and DP would leave the other parent with 2 babies to manage solo whilst the other goes out/away as would likely be too much. We also wouldn’t put that on grandparents.

My house will be twice as cluttered as it already is.

This is what we wanted but now it’s happening I’m panicking! DO is very excited and doesn’t understand why I’m so worried.

Anyone with a close age gap care to advise on how you managed?

This.

Tbh I would think it’s probably the most typical age gap between kids. There will basically be a 2 year gap when baby arrives. The majority of people see this as ‘normal’ and the second just adds on/slots in generally.

My dd has two with a 14 month gap, she has slowly got herself into a routine and both babies do nap at the same time during the morning.

as for babysitting, eldest goes to his grandma and I babysit baby. Just because you have two doesn’t mean that babysitting has to be done by one person. You could have two babysitters together at your home

Lots of children don’t nap regularly after 2 years. So it’s unlikely they will be on same nap schedule. Newborns nap 3-4 times a day, toddler may nap but unlikely every day.

I have just under 21 months between mine. First couple of months was hard going, but I think that's true whatever the age gap because of sleep (or rather lack of it!)

After that, it's been fine. I just put DD2 in a sling and got on with things really! I think I managed then both napping at the same time from about 4 months, but DD2 will happily nap in the sling so it never stopped me leaving the house.

Incidentally, I wouldn't rush to get a double buggy - I've never needed one (though worth noting DD1 is a good walker for her age).

Before DD2 was born, I tried to get DD1 doing things like putting her wellies on, climbing into her highchair by herself - that was helpful, particularly as I'd had a section.

If you have space, I found having a playpen in the living room really useful. DD2's Moses basket used to go in there and then her baby gym, so that I could leave the room without worrying DD1 was going to try and pick her up and cuddle her!

Congratulations! Just 18 months between my two and I won't lie, there were times when it was hard going.

However, they grew up together and have always been close, despite having very different characters. I know this is something that isn't guaranteed, but for us it's been lovely.

Hope all goes well for you and your family.

I've got two under two, 9 months and 20 months at the min..... I've got two older ones with a slightly bigger gap between them and tbh the smaller gap is easier! I didn't have time to forget what I did at the tiny baby stage compared to toddler stage like I did with DC3. It can be tough going some days but honestly, I cried when I found out I was having another when DC3 was ten weeks old, I was so scared, but it is nowhere near as hard as I thought. I've got a double buggy so take them both out like I would if it were just DC3. Slightly different for me as the difference between 3 and four felt like nothing really. I was already in a routine with one and two before three came along so four, even though so close just slotted right in. Just try and take it as it comes and accept there will be some days that feel really tough but it doesn't last forever. It will be fine, good luck