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Original poster

Any T totals here

41 replies

Monkeynuts57 · 27/05/2023 19:47

I am considering giving up drinking for good! I don’t have much anyway and don’t really enjoy it, makes me feel sick tied and dizzy even a little bit! I’ve not drank for a while anyway due to Ttc and pregnancy and breast feeding so probably close to 2 years in total. I don’t actually miss it or the awful depression that I used to have after the night out.
So I just wondered what people do if not drinking? Do you feel out of place in social events or pressured into drinking or just not bother with social events that involve alcohol?
do people treat you differently? And how do you find like minded people ,who also don’t drink alcohol?
I have a baby so nights out arnt really appealing to me anyway but my dh loves a drink and drinks most nights and weekend so I’d like to suggest other things that we could do and same with friends instead of nights out at the pub! I have so many friends that are heavy drinkers but I would also like to meet new friends and maybe new hobbies but don’t know where to start! I feel I have lost myself a bit

OP posts:
Mollyplop999 · 27/05/2023 19:51

Gave up drinking about 7 years ago. Always felt depressed the day after so it just wasn't worth it.

Mollyplop999 · 27/05/2023 19:51

Meant to say that I don't miss it at all.

MotherofPearl · 27/05/2023 19:52

I drink very little alcohol nowadays. Perimenopause and alcohol do not go well together ime. I probably have a small glass of wine once a month or so at most.

I don't find it a problem in terms of socialising, as there are so many no/low alcohol drinks options now, as well as things like mocktails. Otherwise I order drinks like sparkling elderflower or rose lemonade. I really don't miss alcohol and all that goes with it.

purpledagger · 27/05/2023 19:54

i can take or leave alcohol and never felt the need to explain myself to anyone. never felt out of place not drinking, but then, i don't really go to many bars or clubs anymore.

MotherofPearl · 27/05/2023 19:54

Just to add, none of my friends pressure me to drink (I don't think anyone who pressures others to drink is a friend).

eatdrinkandbemerry · 27/05/2023 19:55

I socialise as anyone else would I just drink soft drinks.
Never been a problem

RememberNancyDrew · 27/05/2023 20:00

I gave up drinking at 30 because I couldn't handle the hangovers and feeling bad. I aged out, I guess.

I will hold a drink, hold and sip a drink, in some social settings - and then switch glasses with a drinking friend when they have an empty glass. It is sometimes easier because a lot of people are very threatened by non-drinkers. I don't make a big deal of not drinking. I have in the past pronounced myself a non-drinker and it didn't play well and now - at age 60 - it is just easier to keep it to myself, make a joke about it, downplay it. Maybe people think non-drinkers are super judgey?? I don't know.

Original poster
Monkeynuts57 · 27/05/2023 20:01

Great thanks everyone I just don’t know anyone who doesn’t! The people that I have known all seem to be obsessed with drinking and do so almost every day of the week! I already feel alienated from them by not joining in! But it’s just not worth it for me anymore! I am going to suggest some other things to do with them or try joining other groups and activities that don’t involve alcohol

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/05/2023 20:03

I've been pretty much a non-drinker for 35 odd years , and I'd only ever have a drink on holiday if I wasn't driving at all .
Then about 15 years ago , I took my (very small) Christmas bottle of Baileys to Butlins and had one glass and didn't bother again.

I do use alcohol (Amarretto) inmy Christmas cake and marzipan but I really don't miss or even like alcohol . Certainly never a wine or beer drinker .

I'd have orange juice or lime/soda in a social situation.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 27/05/2023 20:16

I had DD 9 years ago, didn't drink while pregnant and have just never fancied it since.

I have Diet Coke when out and am fine with that. Very occasionally will have a lager shandy if it's a hot sunny day and we're in a pub garden.

mindutopia · 27/05/2023 20:23

I drink all sorts of things. Actually so much more variety than when I was drinking. Kombucha, tonic, tonic and all sorts of things mixed in, AF beer and wine, AF mead, sparkling water, nice teas, coffee.

I don’t feel at all out of place, but honestly no one has really asked me much about it yet. I do have health issues that mean I shouldn’t drink or only in very limited amounts, but I’m an alcoholic so really I just can’t at all.

There are actually loads of sober groups and activities out there, but I think these probably are a good fit if you are actually ‘sober’ as opposed to just not drinking. You would be welcomed with open arms no matter your reason for quitting drinking, but you might not find those are your people if you are stopping just because you don’t drink much anyway.

But there are lots of activities that don’t involve alcohol: sports groups, walking groups, gardening clubs, volunteer activities. If you have small children, there are lots of baby and toddler groups where you’d get a bit of a raised eyebrow if you got out the gin. Or invite your normal friends to do an activity that doesn’t involve alcohol: go for a swim or a walk, meet for tea and a scone, or just have them over for a meal and don’t drink. Especially as you have a small baby, you have a great excuse at the moment anyway. You can always bring your own drinks somewhere if you’re meeting up and unsure if there will be anything AF.

Thistlelass · 27/05/2023 20:24

I'm alcoholic. Almost 8 years since my final drink. I always had an inkling alcohol was going to do me no favours. On the brink of divorce, the drinking started. Anyway I don't find anyone bothers if I say I will have mineral water or a coke etc. My family obviously know the reason but everyone else can just wonder unless I decide to tell them. I was out for a meal in South London a few years ago and did find it slightly embarassing to ask for the wine glass to be taken away. So I say, just don't bother restarting. Just try to save some of the money towards treats for yourself.

elliejjtiny · 27/05/2023 20:26

I'm teetotal. Never really liked the taste and when I was about 20/21 I stopped thinking I had to drink to look cool.

elliejjtiny · 27/05/2023 20:29

I sometimes feel embarrassed about it though, so I don't usually mention it.

FofB · 27/05/2023 20:31

I haven't had a drink for 20 years. There's lots more choice nowadays.

Lots of places have interesting non-alcoholic cocktails and I always enjoy a Fentimans.

It's a non issue for me but it may take your friends some time to get used to it.

Findyourneutralspace · 27/05/2023 20:36

I’m not teetotal but I realised a few years ago that my social life, and that of my friends, revolves around alcohol - and I didn’t want that. I got outdoorsy, and have met loads of new, non drinking friends, that way. I still see my other friends, but there is more balance there.

hola47392 · 27/05/2023 20:40

I'd like to give it up, after being pregnant and obviously not drinking I've not missed it, but people always have something to say if you aren't drinking and I just don't wanted to feel judged 😖

Sundaysundaebananasplit · 27/05/2023 20:48

I quit drinking 4 years ago. I'd been a real binger for about 20 years and my hangovers were atrocious. I haven't looked back. Non drinking is amazing! I love life as a non drinker! I never have a hangover, never feel ashamed of what I did the night before, never have 'the fear' because I can't remember what I said or did. Waking up on a Sunday morning feeling healthy and normal is fantastic. I don't care what people think! I tell them the truth and they can like it or lump it. Some people seem shocked, but really, unless they are going to vote it for me for 12 hours the following day, they don't really get an opinion. I drink diet coke, sparkling water with lime, mocktails, whatever!

I sometimes have nightmares that I've started drinking again and wake up so relieved that I'm still free! 😌

I've never looked back!

Sundaysundaebananasplit · 27/05/2023 20:49

Vomit, not vote it!

RoseMartha · 27/05/2023 21:00

I dont drink and when I did I didnt drink a lot. Just the odd glass of wine now and then. Became intolerant in my 30's, so stopped altogether.

24KaratCucumber · 27/05/2023 21:08

I hate the arsehole that go something like,
"You don't drink? Why not? Go on just have a little one, it won't hurt you, don't be boring, just half, or a shot, come on, you must have a drink at Christmas?"
So on and so on.

So I don't socialise with those sorts, but it seems everyone that enjoys pubs are those sort.. paradox.

Floralnomad · 27/05/2023 21:11

I’ve been a non drinker for over 35 yrs , it’s never been an issue for me

nocoolnamesleft · 27/05/2023 21:11

I'm a non drinker, because I hate the taste of alcohol (and yes, I have sampled quite a wide range looking for something tolerable). It stopped being an issue a couple of years into uni, when I got an old banger. People tend not to take the piss out of the designated driver.

Gtsr443 · 27/05/2023 21:12

I'm teetotal. Gave up alcohol 15 years ago when I got cancer.
I drank a lot and regularly from a young age but I honestly don't miss it.
I really don't like alcohol free beer etc and will usually have a pint of lime and soda in the pub or sparkling water if I'm out for a meal.

DragonbornMum · 27/05/2023 21:16

Never been a big drinker. Let me turn the question around: what do drinkers do on a night out? Go out and drink? Boring. I prefer to actually do something.

(as it happens I'm in a shit mood this evening and picked up some fruity cider. The cashier hit "clearly over 25" a bit too confidently!)