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Original poster

What does "offended" mean?

32 replies

CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 16:01

I'm interested in what people mean by the word offended. In my experience it seems to be a word that's used about other people. For example, I might say I don't like something I consider sexist or racist, and there will always be replies about "being offended on behalf or other people" or being "professionally offended" or " looking for things to be offended by." I don't think I have ever said I was "offended" by something. So is it only said by the professionally unoffended?

OP posts:
ucantmulchthis · 27/05/2023 16:19

I don't think I've ever used the term 'I'm offended'.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 27/05/2023 16:25

If people take objection to me pointing out they're racist, then them thinking I'm PO is the least of my concerns.

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:29

I can use it to mean some situations where I or someone else is upset, annoyed or resentful. I would be offended if someone presumed that I wouldn't understand computers because I am a woman; called me a 'dirty Jew', or passed me over for promotion which I deserved. My husband was offended when a tradesman asked him if he was gay because he didn't like football. Racism offends me. Is there some kind of problem with this word? I know far-right political types accuse 'woke' or 'liberal' people of being 'offended' in what the right-wingers think is false in some way.

Owlglasses · 27/05/2023 16:30

I've observed that when people say someone is "being offended on behalf or other people" or being "professionally offended" they are trying to minimise the argument against someone who has said or done something bloody awful.

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:30

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 27/05/2023 16:25

If people take objection to me pointing out they're racist, then them thinking I'm PO is the least of my concerns.

What's 'PO'?

Owlglasses · 27/05/2023 16:31

Professionally offended?

Haywirecity · 27/05/2023 16:34

I've been offended by things. I am offended by things.
I do think people use the word to try and shut other people down.

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:35

Owlglasses · 27/05/2023 16:31

Professionally offended?

Ok, I see. A word that fascists the other side in the culture war devalue opinions they don't like.

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:36

I typed that badly. A word that fascists the other side in the culture war use to devalue opinions they don't like.

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:37

A word that fascists the other side in the culture war use to devalue opinions they don't like.

Finally!

Original poster
CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 16:43

Yep. I think it's in the same ball park as "virtue signalling." What people
say when they're trying to minimise crap opinions, or diminish principled motivation.

OP posts:
Original poster
CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 16:44

Well done @CharlottenBurger -three times' the charm! 🤣

OP posts:
Owlglasses · 27/05/2023 16:44

Or calling people with strong principles 'zealots' and groups with a shared focus 'mobs'.

Tabitha1960 · 27/05/2023 16:55

What a fascinating question. I never thought about the meaning.

I think it's misused. People mean "that sounds a bit off" or "that's not a very nice thing to say".

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:56

I think it's a perfect illustration of how far-right culture warriors operate. See, I didn't use the F word. They don't debate or discuss, they attack. As Hermann Göring didn't quite say, 'When I hear the word 'offended', I reach for my pistol'. He didn't say it about 'culture' either, that was someone else.

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:58

Tabitha1960 · 27/05/2023 16:55

What a fascinating question. I never thought about the meaning.

I think it's misused. People mean "that sounds a bit off" or "that's not a very nice thing to say".

It can mean different levels of being upset, annoyed, or resentful. It isn't reserved for any specific value or strength of those feelings.

Sandcastles24 · 27/05/2023 17:05

I would say, "...that is offensive.." and challenge someone's inappropriate comment.
I wouldn't say "I am offended" that seems too personal. Maybe it is a cultural reluctantly to express negative emotions. To be offended implies someone got to me which I wouldn't like to admit?

Haywirecity · 27/05/2023 17:10

CharlottenBurger · 27/05/2023 16:56

I think it's a perfect illustration of how far-right culture warriors operate. See, I didn't use the F word. They don't debate or discuss, they attack. As Hermann Göring didn't quite say, 'When I hear the word 'offended', I reach for my pistol'. He didn't say it about 'culture' either, that was someone else.

I don't think it needs to be far anything and it's certainly not limited to the right wing. I've seen plenty of people who say they're on the left (even on MN) use the same technique.
It's not the right that's trying to shut down speakers in universities. That's pretty much the domain of the left.
Basically, it's anyone who is intolerant or unable to deal with other people's views use the excuse that people will be offended to prevent discussion.
I remember when it was a thing, it might still be, not to use the word Chirtmas cake or hot cross buns because it would offend Muslims. No, it didn't. It was just a load of old tosh that tried to sow division.

OriginalUsername2 · 27/05/2023 17:12

I.heard a friend say lightly “I’m a little bit offended by that, actually.” and it came off affective. Other person looked embarrassed.

Original poster
CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 17:30

I don't mean to be a dick, @OriginalUsername2 but is "affective" a typo for "affected"? Or is it a word I don't know?

OP posts:
PuffinsRocks · 27/05/2023 17:36

@CurlewKate affective means emotional. Such as "affective dysregulation" which is a psychiatric problem. It's usually used in a professional mental health environment and I rarely see it outside of that.

MagpiePi · 27/05/2023 17:38

CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 17:30

I don't mean to be a dick, @OriginalUsername2 but is "affective" a typo for "affected"? Or is it a word I don't know?

Do you mean ‘effective’? As in, it had an effect.

Haywirecity · 27/05/2023 18:04

"Affective is a word that crops up a lot in psychology—it means having to do with emotions or moods. Affective disorders are characterized by mood swings."

Original poster
CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 18:07

Sorry- I do know what affective disorders means. I meant I couldnMt make it make sense in this context, but I wanted to check before I assumed it was a typo.

OP posts:
Haywirecity · 27/05/2023 18:33

Sorry, @CurlewKate . I posted it because I'd heard it but I didn't really know what it meant. Every day's a learning day! 🙂

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