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Alcohol & daytime drinking now unfashionable & is judged?

114 replies

101cockerspaniels · 26/05/2023 12:14

Met friends for lunch a fortnight ago & was excited to meet up for a catch up &, our usual glasses of wine.. All three had varied excuses for not drinking & I felt judged for having a couple of glasses of wine! One referred to me jokingly as the "daytime drinker"..
They drank non alcoholic cocktails & some type of flavoured bubbly water in fancy glasses..
Is alcohol in general & lunchtime drinking gone out of fashion? For the record all of us are early 40s..

OP posts:
TheSnowyOwl · 26/05/2023 14:23

I think it’s perfectly normal and acceptable unless you are driving, have something on in the afternoon or young children to look after, or don’t tend to drink anyway.

I rarely drink but that wouldn’t put me off having one at lunchtime.

Clarabe1 · 26/05/2023 14:24

I am useless at daytime drinking. I need a nap after a drink in the afternoon but if someone else wanted a drink I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Beautiful3 · 26/05/2023 14:25

Now I'm in my 40s, alcohol makes me feel drowsy and tired. I wouldn't want to drink at lunchtime for that reason. Evening would be okay.

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peachicecream · 26/05/2023 14:25

I think on the whole, people in the UK are drinking less than they used to (probably a good thing). Personally I prefer a drink in the afternoon as then it's out of my system by bed time!

frozendaisy · 26/05/2023 14:25

Daytime drinking always feels more holiday.

But I get what you are saying OP more people I think look at you if you are the only one having a glass of wine or two. I find it more enjoyable if I find out beforehand there is another cheeky lunchtime wine partner in crime with me.

101cockerspaniels · 26/05/2023 14:28

SpringSummerDreamer · 26/05/2023 12:50

Unless you live in the centre of a city, with no work and childcare responsibilities, how do you do manage daytime drinking? I always have to drive/school pickup/be alert, so the only opportunity for a glass of wine with lunch would be on holiday!

It was a Saturday in town, we're all walking distance to the centre. The dh's had the kids.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 26/05/2023 14:43

I have recently stopped drinking. Some of my friends would have a pint/ glass of wine in the afternoon, some wouldn't. Luckily my friends are nice enough that I don't need an 'excuse', we just order what we want.

Iliketulips · 26/05/2023 15:16

I met up with friends for lunch a few weeks ago. 2/5 of us had a drink (I only had one as it leaves me feeling too relaxed for rest of day). I really don't think our other friends cared and I think they'd be more pleased than anything that I was having what I wanted and a nice time.

LuciferRising · 26/05/2023 15:22

Maddy70 · 26/05/2023 13:30

My children dint drink much either. It's definitely generational

At the party I threw, the over-45s drank, the younger ones, including my 19 year old nephew did not.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 26/05/2023 15:25

SundaeLove · 26/05/2023 14:05

I remember that so well! In our office several days a week most would be half cut after a long lunch in a pub or wine bar - do wine bars still exist !?

loved the freedom of the 80s and being early 20s helped 😁

ExH went to a lot of business lunches in the 70s and 80s and rang me one afternoon just as I was leaving work -'don't cook dinner, we've just finished lunch.' Er, OK, you realise I might want to eat, dickhead?

Neverinamonthofsundays · 26/05/2023 16:18

Myself and DP are late 40's and love the occasional day drink. When we go away for a weekend we love a long lunch with a large glass of wine or maybe a beer garden and a few bottles of beer. This coming sunday we have offloaded the kids and are heading out for a carvery (classy!) and a bottle of wine. Our plan of course is to eat and drink a bottle of wine and then go the local for a few more but in reality we may be home watching this weeks recorded corrie by 7. The plan is there though.

Fuck judgemental people. You do you!

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 26/05/2023 16:21

How did you feel judged?? Did they make a comment to you about drinking?

I normally find it's the opposite... when your not drinking questions get asked. My husband gets asked all the time why is he not drinking or drinking non alcoholic drinks. Because if he drinks more than 1-2 drinks he is at greater risk of having a seizure and is on medication for this.

I can take or leave having alcohol. I can still go out and have a good time! Would never judge anyone for having one! Sometimes I fancy it, sometimes I don't

StayGoldenPonyGirl · 26/05/2023 16:55

My friend invited me round for drinks. We agreed a date and I asked what time and she said 8-8.30ish. I was horrified...I want the night to be FINISHED by 8.30 not just starting!

CKL987 · 26/05/2023 17:06

I don't drink ofter but daytime drinking is so much better for me. Hangover kicks in just as I go to bed and then I wake up fresh as a daisy!

innerspace · 26/05/2023 17:41

StayGoldenPonyGirl · 26/05/2023 16:55

My friend invited me round for drinks. We agreed a date and I asked what time and she said 8-8.30ish. I was horrified...I want the night to be FINISHED by 8.30 not just starting!

😂 Same here!

LindorDoubleChoc · 26/05/2023 17:50

I love a drink but not before 6pm unless it's a very special event. I often go out to lunch with friends but unless there's some special reason none of us drink alcohol - it wipes us out for the rest of the day. Probably an age thing! But I definitely stopped doing it before 40. In my 20s and 30s I was working very full on anyway and couldn't have had a drink unless my boss was taking me out for lunch or something.

VWHoliday · 26/05/2023 17:55

StayGoldenPonyGirl · 26/05/2023 16:55

My friend invited me round for drinks. We agreed a date and I asked what time and she said 8-8.30ish. I was horrified...I want the night to be FINISHED by 8.30 not just starting!

This is us and our Friends. We prefer afternoon drinks.

snoozingbaby1476 · 26/05/2023 17:59

It's definitely not unfashionable with my friends. We all love a little day time drink. Enjoy op & don't worry.

tatteddear · 26/05/2023 18:06

Love a bit of day drinking me. Out at 2, home a bit tipsy at 7, wake up hangover free the next day!

realityhack · 26/05/2023 18:09

I've always found the opposite- people get angry if you dont drink. Eg "oh come on, you can have just one" "dont be boring" etc etc. I personally hate day drinking as it makes me feel really lethargic and gross for the rest of the day. I dont care if others drink though. I think both ways, people need to mind their own business about what others choose to drink.

NewPinkJacket · 26/05/2023 18:11

101cockerspaniels · 26/05/2023 12:23

Thanks for the replies, I thought I had missed out on a new trend!

Based on just 3 friends?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 26/05/2023 18:13

I’ve had the comment from a female colleague on a work lunch out of being a cool girl because I drank a glass of wine!

I used to happily have a few Pimms or gin and tonics with lunch at another office, I couldn’t do this now (thanks menopause!).

Bottomless brunches can be great if you’re all on the same page eg all drinking Prosecco but I’ve been on a few with some younger women (as well as older women) who as well as Prosecco made sure to drink as many cocktails as they could, when I left those I was quite tipsy and that was having all the bottomless brunch food too!

twotruthsandalie · 26/05/2023 18:14

I'm a right pisshead but I don't day drink. It makes me sleepy. I only drink at home within close distance to my bed.

bladebladebla1 · 26/05/2023 18:17

SpringSummerDreamer · 26/05/2023 12:50

Unless you live in the centre of a city, with no work and childcare responsibilities, how do you do manage daytime drinking? I always have to drive/school pickup/be alert, so the only opportunity for a glass of wine with lunch would be on holiday!

Afternoon off, pub lunch, done in time to make the kids tea. Easy. Pubs are not just in cities

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/05/2023 18:54

Used to join the rest of the office in the pub at lunchtime every day and then every Friday evening, but over the last twenty years, that's now become a disciplinary offence for a lot of employers - the first one I worked for that banned even stepping over the threshold was the NHS in 2005.

Schools and particularly academies started cracking down on staff having a life outside school being seen in town at the weekend or holidays and some have now outright banned any consumption of alcohol on school premises - even the PTA are banned from having bottle tombola or warm Red Stripe stalls at summer fayres.

Some academies have even tried to dictate that staff who live within a certain distance of any of their sites cannot smoke or drink in their own homes.

I used to meet DP for a G&T and decompression on a Friday evening, but that began to lose its appeal when more and more people were only there to fall out again at closing time, and then lockdowns started, so we got out of the habit and pretty much lost interest.

I do still really love going for a very late lunch or dinner in the sun with an Aperol, though. There's something about it still being warm, the golden light, nice food and an ice cold drink. But now it's a very occasional thing instead of a regular one.

I can't imagine many places these days accepting the old ways of decompressing after a shit week at work, and that's carried through to outside the workplace now.