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Work situation

14 replies

sparklingwater1 · 25/05/2023 22:50

Apologies, long one - rant mainly but any advice on what you would do next is appreciated.

So today I received a work email from someone I’m supporting though a programme. The email was about me and not intended for me to receive, no idea who the email was supposed to be sent to. It made out like I “again” wasn’t doing my job and this person was having to wait for me to do tasks and I was giving excuses for not doing jobs. It was swiftly followed up by an apology and an overwhelming week etc.

I went through every piece of correspondence I’ve had with this person since September. I’ve never missed a deadline I’d say I’d make, never failed to do any task and not any email I have sent has contained any excuse. The work has all been done. I went through my inbox and never once has this person asked me where a task was or anything that would imply they have chased me up in regard to anything.

I replied taking the moral high ground that I was unaware of these feelings as all correspondence I have are within the given time frames (some much earlier than stated) and although at times I prioritise my workload it has never impacted on my ability to perform this support role. I apologised for any misunderstanding that I wasn’t aware of and offered someone new to support them as they were clearly so dissatisfied with my approach and effort to date.

Of course, instantly came another email asking for forgiveness, the messaged typed wasn’t even true as I’ve been a great support, it’s been a hard week etc. I said we will move on and continued to offer support and a reply came telling me how wonderful I am.

It’s been about 7 hours since that happened and I’m still so mad for a number of reasons.
1. The word “again” used in the email suggests she has sent things like this before with zero grounds to do so and I have all the correspondence to show.
2. I have no idea who this email was intended for. I am more senior to this person in general but not directly to them so I can’t exactly go through the same routes as I would if it was someone directly in my department. If this was aimed at someone my position or above it will make me look bad for no given reason.
3. I don’t believe for a second they’re sorry, they’re sorry they got caught.
4. I’ve had bad weeks but never felt the need to send a bitchy email which is completely false.

I’m due to see this person face to face in the next week or so and I don’t know how I should act. I have a feeling they will either be very sheepish or over the top apologetic. I want to know who this email was intended for as I will be livid if it was to someone more senior than me and I will get directly in touch with them and show them all correspondence. The chances are I’ll never know though and that’s annoying me more.

Ah well tomorrow is another day... away to drink my wine and stew some more!

OP posts:
fanilingers · 25/05/2023 23:22

you need to report this to your line manager and have a 1 to 1 meeting. You are being sabotaged

Itsanotherhreatday · 25/05/2023 23:26

I agree. Don’t wait - speak up to your line manager and ask them to investigate the claims. If they are untrue - it needs dealing with.

If you leave it too late - it may cause bigger issues.

fanilingers · 25/05/2023 23:28

your managers should be very concerned of a toxic work environment

sparklingwater1 · 25/05/2023 23:40

Thanks everyone.

I should make clear, we work in a similar field but although I could easily find out who this persons manager is, we don't share the same manager or a work space/ any shared colleagues if that makes sense.

This person has taken on an extra programme of work that ultimately can lead to promotion. I've completed this programme a long time ago and therefore choose to support people through the programme. I've done it voluntarily in the past and have proven my worth and now get paid to do this so I take it very seriously. The programme currently has over 100 members and I support about a tenth directly and half indirectly. Each person has their own named staff to reach out to for support but as I am fairly experienced in this line of work and well known in this regard, staff will will directly contact me (and I always reply) or supporters will ask for advise (and I always reply) on top of other responsibilities I have.

I guess I just feel a bit deflated by this as I know I do a good job. I could speak to my line manager and ask them to set up a meeting with this person and their boss. After I see them next week, it is unlikely our paths will cross in the future again so I'm trying not to let it get to me but it's bloody annoying!

OP posts:
sparklingwater1 · 25/05/2023 23:50

@Itsanotherhreatday they are completely untrue and I have every email, piece of paperwork and this persons email saying that what they said was false as I have been a great support the whole way.

I just don't understand why they would have said such things in the first place! I'm really trying to be sympathetic to a hard week/ personal problems I might not know of and it's just been a rant for rants sake...potentially to cover areas of work they're failing in maybe? I have no idea. From online meetings/ face to face training sessions that I lead and emails this person has always seemed lovely which is why it's even more baffling to me that they would do this!

OP posts:
fanilingers · 26/05/2023 20:53

you need to speak to your line manager and don't leave it too long

sparklingwater1 · 27/05/2023 17:07

Thanks all have arranged to speak to my manager on Tuesday after the holiday weekend. All of you have said the same and so have my friends/ family that I've spoken to about this too.

OP posts:
SummerWhisper · 27/05/2023 17:26

It's a form of bullying through reputational damage / sabotage, so make sure your line manager does not minimise it. You could submit a SAR if you wanted to explore the previous trails. You could also raise a grievance as this could have been intended for a number of recipients if there was no name.

Igmum · 27/05/2023 17:36

Agree. Speak to your manager and/or HR. I wonder whether this person is struggling with their own work and trying to blame others. Not nice for you though. Definitely have that wine and forget them for a couple of days.

OdeToBarney · 27/05/2023 17:40

Igmum · 27/05/2023 17:36

Agree. Speak to your manager and/or HR. I wonder whether this person is struggling with their own work and trying to blame others. Not nice for you though. Definitely have that wine and forget them for a couple of days.

Exactly what I came to say. They've been pulled up on something and they're using you as a scapegoat. It's not on. Glad you've arranged to speak to your manager OP.

MichelleScarn · 27/05/2023 17:48

So sorry this has happened to you @sparklingwater1, absolutely speak to your manager Tues, I don't know if i were you I would want any further interaction especially on a 1:1 basis with Evilly McEmailer, wouldn't trust them at all!

sparklingwater1 · 27/05/2023 17:56

Thanks everyone really appreciate the responses. I'm well known for being hard working and fair and I've never had anything like this before (well that I know of!) and it really knocked my confidence a bit. DP has been a wee rock and put up with me moaning about it so has whisked me off for a wee date day so currently sitting in the sunshine with a vino in a beer garden and a lovely dinner to look forward to!

He has said I've been too nice in my response but I'd rather be above board than stoop to that level. I have all communication/ necessary paperwork and the persons own email saying what they said wasn't even true! I just find it mind blowing that people do this! Think I need to invest in thicker skin too tbh but when it's so ridiculously unfounded it's just really hurtful. Onwards and upwards and thank you all for the kind words of support!

OP posts:
ItsNotRocketSalad · 27/05/2023 18:02

You've had good advice so I'll just add my sympathies. I have a snake in my team and it's so horrible dealing with these people.

sparklingwater1 · 27/05/2023 18:37

Thanks @ItsNotRocketSalad

I've had my main role since 2009 and took on this extra supporter role since 2017 all with very positive reviews (why I get paid to do it now rather than volunteer my time) and this is first time I've came across this. All a learning curve and I know I've done nothing wrong and have all the evidence to show it.

Learning a different view of what people can be like and my line manager is brilliant so I know I'll have their backing.

I'm 50/50 on progressing it or just making my manager aware and then moving on as after the programme is done (end of June) there's little to no chance I'll see/ speak to this person again. I'm not sure it's worth the effort/ stress but will see what my manager advises. My main concern is that I've been a scapegoat to someone more senior as an excuse for the person not doing their tasks. Again, it wouldn't directly impact me per se but I just wouldn't ever want my name used in that way to suggest I wasn't doing my job that's all. I guess the main thing is that the people that know me the best will know my work ethic and that's all that matters.

And just attaching beer garden photos because...well why not! Happy Saturday everyone! Smile

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