I'm not sure if I can explain myself properly but basically all my life I've just had problems making connections with people. So I can never really make friends just acquaintances. I'd have loads of opportunities to make friends but can never really get past the small talk stage.
I'm not sure where im going wrong but it's definitely me that's the problem. I do have quite bad social anxiety since childhood and that must play into it too. Unsurprisingly, I am not very confident either which is quite apparent when meeting me but don't know if that would make people feel negative towards me. I've been told once that I sounded abrupt even though they knew I wasnt being rude.
I don't really know what to do about it. I can be in a thousand social settings but all the outcomes will be the same so I don't think just exposing myself more to social interactions is enough.
I must sound like a right weirdo and would love to just be able to take to people with ease without coming away feeling a failure.
Before anyone suggests autism, I've looked at that and I score high only in the social bit but I think that's because of my social anxiety.