Idle musings: would you take advice from an obese nutritionist or a depressed therapist?

[GeriKellmansUpdo]

Just idly thinking about this because on my social media feed there are:
Nutritionists who advise on weight loss and diabetes control but are obese themselves
Therapists who are constantly saying how depressed they are
Financial advisors who are saying how bad they are with money

Does this make them more relatable to ordinary Joes or Janes? Personally, I think I wouldn't. Though on the other hand, I know a lot of doctors who smoke.

I this post is unfair. Humans, when faced with death divorce and illness can be depressed. To assume a therapist would magically be immune to normal feelings of sadness at times is not right. If the advice is good, why not?

Similarly, an obese person can give great advice, whether they follow it or not. I give wonderful advice about carpentry due to relatives in the biz but never do it myself.

Good question. My sister suffers from anxiety. She was diagnosed in her 30s when she had a breakdown, but she’s been like this all her life - it just got too much for her to keep a lid on, eventually, and life events sent her into a total spiral. She stepped back from everything, dropped out for a while, got diagnosed.

Part of her recovery was researching the shit out of her condition. She ended up doing a part time degree in psychology and psychotherapy with the OU and talked about becoming a counsellor / therapist. I was totally in two minds about it: on the one hand, she really has the lived experience to really relate to others in the same situation and endless compassion for them. OTOH she is still the same anxious, perfectionist basket-case she always was (said fondly, I love her to bits). I wouldn’t want her to be my therapist (though I’m glad she’s my sister).

In the end she followed another path, and is now in a different job causing her - you guessed it - lots of stress and anxiety.

Clinical depression, by definition, isn't 'normal feelings of sadness'. That's sort of the point.

I actually agree that people with the thing, know more about the thing. I give fabulous ADHD advice.

Depressed counsellor/therapis - Ok. Counselling is not all about depression.
Overweight HCP - OK, if they are general nurses/doctors giving advice on nutrition might just be a small part of their job. I don't trust NHS advice on nutrition anyway though.
Overweight nutritionist - no
Unfit exercise instructor - no

The type of post that grinds my gears

1. hugely obese man is served enough food to feed a family of five for a couple of days and bounces up and down in joy at his utter gluttony and
2. dm sad face story about family whose child has breathing problems thanks to mould. When you see the picture of the mould you can easily remove it in two minutes with cleaning fluid and sponge. Room isn’t ventilated and no attempt at using even a £1 dehumidifier has been made, let alone mould paint etc. If you care about your child’s health so much please please please take some simple fast measures to remove and prevent the problem. Obviously if your wall is growing mushrooms do the dm sad face story.

I'm a therapist who also struggles with my mental health. My clients would not know as I'm a professional. I am a human with my own struggles in life which at times are really challenging. I think my own experiences have made me a better therapist, but I don't post on social media etc about them and would never tell a client unless they asked me very directly, i would not be at work if I was not able to manage myself well enough that my own difficulties would impact on the therapy.

"Clinical depression, by definition, isn't 'normal feelings of sadness'. "

OP didn't specify clinical depression.

I am a mental health professional. I have had my own mental health issues. If anything they improved my practice and level of understanding.

Hmmm… good question actually.

You do realise that a lot of GPs are alcoholics? That’s the profession where alcohol abuse is the highest.
Do you still trust them? Yes because you dint know…

A nutritionist that is thin might be one who has severe ED You don’t know about because it’s not visible.
Or they might be thin but have an awful diet that again You don’t know about.
I mean I met an NHS dietician who was thin and was arguing with someone who clearly had an ED that eating Mars bar was a healthy lunch and that not eating anything fir the rest if the day was ok too (even though she was hungry). You wouldn’t see that from her appearance.

Or they might be overweight but have serious health issues controlled by their diet… that you don’t know anything about.

So is it fair to judge someone in their appearance?
I think you take a huge risk tbh.

Lol I developed my first depressive episode at the age of 13 , I say I have empathy for people and insight. My skills have helped me in my own recovery journey. I wouldn't tell a patient I had depression that would be overstepping professional boundaries, it's about their journey not mine. A good majority of practitioners have had their own issues trust me on that.

I think a lot if nutritionists are people who either have had issues with their weight (and yes it’s still ‘visible’ either way) or people who have had health issues that they controlled through diet.
Those l’éolien might be thin or overweight. That won’t have been the aim of their effort.

Also thin=healthy isn’t as obvious as it appears.

I see what you mean, but if you know that what they're saying is true/good evidence based advice, it would be a bit 'cut off your nose to spite your face' not to listen.

Also, imagine getting referred to a nutritionist and walking out of the appointment because they weren't thin enough to be listened to! That would be a terrible thing to do and tbh in that circumstance your weight is probably the least of your concerns, it's your personality you should be working on!

God no! I once had a nurse lecture me about my weight telling me I shouldn't use butter on bread etc and she was a LOT bigger than me. Took all my willpower to not ask her if there were any mirrors in her house 🙄

As long as they are meeting my needs with the treatment it makes no difference to me.

My colleague told me!

I’ve had an appointment with an obese dietitian and I have to say it did affect how seriously I took the advice given. Conversely i also know an underweight dietician and the same would apply if I saw them as a patient.

After having my first child I went for a 6 week check up with my GP. She glanced at me and said dismissively 'well, you've still got some baby weight to lose'. I absolutely didn't - I hadn't put on much weight in the pregnancy so 1 was 5ft tall and weighed about 8 stone. She was very, very fat. I certainly didn't take any notice of her but it did make me doubt any other advice she gave me.

The fatal flaw is thinking that you can tell if someone is following healthy eating advice just by looking at them. It's also very black & white thinking.

I have a friend who lost six stone and reversed her type 2 diabetes. Amazing accomplishment. She worked very hard. But she's still overweight. That happens a lot with people who manage to lose weight and sustain the loss. They lose weight, but they don't get all the way to thin. Arguably she knows more about losing weight and managing type 2 diabetes than someone who was thin all along. But if you looked at her, you'd see a middle aged overweight woman and dismiss her. You don't know everyone's backstory and even insofar as it must be true, in aggregate, that eating habits matter for weight, you can't know that about any given individual.

Meanwhile someone could be thin and have absolutely crap eating habits, but they're lucky genetically. Current thinking is that genetics is a major contributor, probably over half vs. diet. Dietetics is known, as a profession, for attracting people with disordered eating patterns.

That's aside from the fact that you're asking for their professional advice and not their life experience.

With therapists, I think it's even less relevant. Someone doesn't cause their own depression or anxiety and you can't just get rid of it. You can't just blame someone if their depression recurs or the treatments don't work. It's not a question of them trying hard enough.

Yes

'That would be a terrible thing to do and tbh in that circumstance your weight is probably the least of your concerns, it's your personality you should be working on!'

Well, gee, thanks.

I once joined a diet club and the leader was very overweight! I felt awful.thinking it but I was so uninspired in that group, like the diet obviously didn't work or the leader would have been slimmer. Horrible of me I know, her personal circumstances could have been a number of factors

It depends doesn’t it.

One of my friends was raging at her overweight midwife telling her to lose weight or at least not put on more. The midwife wasn’t pregnant so neither she nor a baby were at risk from the diet my friend was eating and the advice she gave was correct but her size meant my friend both refused to follow the advice and refused to see that midwife again.

I saw a therapist for help after my divorce, I don’t have a clue what her own mental health was like and it didn’t have any impact on the excellent help she gave me. If she’d a bad marriage and issues caused by it she was possibly more empathetic.

I know two “life coaches”, not sure what qualifications they purport to have but I wouldn’t take advice on anything from either of them, terrifying thought.

The thing is though, it's the advice that was bad there. Would it have suddenly been good advice if the midwife had been thin?

Her weight is really irrelevant to your health — it's just that it happens to be visible, unlike many other issues that have an impact on health and are affected by behaviour.

You can see someone's size and guess they consume a calorie surplus, but you won't know whether the doctor insisting you finish a course of antibiotics never bothers finishing theirs, or your asthma nurse has bad asthma control because they can't be bothered taking a daily preventer, or your dentist seldom flosses.

The advice they gave you to finish your antibiotic courses, take your steroid inhaler and floss your teeth would still be the right thing to do for your own health, regardless of the healthcare worker's own choices. It's their responsibility to advise you of the best course to take to tackle your health problems, whether or not they do so themselves.

It's your responsibility to decide whether to ignore health advice from a professional on the basis of your indignation at the hypocrisy you perceive, which is only possible because the issue at hand happens to be a visible one.

You can be overweight with low cholesterol though and skinny with high cholesterol weirdly! I went with NHS colleagues to be tested and this proved to be the case.