19 year old son going on holiday yikes!!!

[Mollylegs]

Hi I know people will probably think I'm soft but my son is going on holiday to Zante in July. A bit of back story. My son is 19 and a half. Quiet lad has only just started going out drinking in the last 6 months. In fact he's only been out 6 times in total. He is a quiet lad who hhas spent most of his time talking to friends onlune from his bedroom. He has a friend he's had since school who goes to college with a few other lads, my son has become friends with these lads online and has been out for drinks a few times with them. So my worry is they have booked to go on holiday in August and I am totally freaking out,he's not a big drinker at all, and hasn't had years of being out and how people can act when they're out drinking. Please don't tell me to get over and it as I am struggling. My husband decided he'd rather be somewhere else, this was when my son started going out drinking, trying to blank all the shit out. So i'm just asking for advice on the kind of things I can put in place/tell him. I need advice on things like money, does he takw cash or card? How I can keep in touch with him, is there a weekly change he can make in his phone contract? I haven't been abroad in donkeys years. So just some basic advice on ways to make sure he has a fab holiday but hopefully a safe one. I am pooping bricks and it's still May.

If it’s any help, my DD has just come back from a holiday to Zante, with friends. They went all inclusive and took €200 each which was plenty. They didn’t go wild but went to some bars and clubs and had a great time, (although the weather wasn’t great). The taxi drivers warned them about being careful with drinks in town, especially spirits as they’re often very strong. They said lager was the “safest” drink. They all survived in tact. They hired a car one day and drove round the island. My advice to her was to put her passport & valuables in the hotel safe, for the girls to stick together, to hang on to their bags when out and to buy/keep in hand their own drinks. They had a wonderful time.

Oh and her phone contract includes use in Europe but she mainly used the WiFi in the hotel to send the odd WhatsApp message.

You will worry till he comes back op, he'll be out the having a ball

Check his phone contract - we added on roaming abroad for £10

DD recommended Monzo tours, and it worked brilliantly for finances.

tell him not to drink on an empty stomach!
Make sure he knows how much he can drink before he collapses.

most groups will look out for one another.

hope he has a great time

If he is your only child can you arrange to go on a holiday while he is away? Even just a few days staying with friends somewhere different might distract you.

He's almost 20, you need to land the helicopter and let him get on with it.

Agree with @GalileoHumpkins! Did my first European foreign holiday at 17, US alone at 18, then gap year and had been all over the world by 19. Grew up in the arse end of nowhere and it was the making of me. He’ll be fine.

Goodness me, at 19 I did seven weeks interrail all over Europe. Yes there were drunken stupid moments, but young people look out for each other. If it's a week in a resort he'll be absolutely fine. If he's not a big drinker he won't go mental, he'll be aware of finding his limits.
It's people who drink all the time and think they can handle anything who misjudge and go mad.

Has he sorted out his passport?

Aww he'll be fine OP. It's only natural to worry. My Mum worries about me when I'm travelling and I'm in my 40s!

Money wise, look into a pre-paid debit card for travel. I'm with HSBC and they have a global money card that you can load up with whatever currency you need. I tend to take that and a credit card for emergencies, and maybe a £100 of cash.

Depending on what network he's on and his phone contract, he may be able to add roaming for the time he's away. I can do it on EE for £10 for a week or something like that. Then he can use his phone as he would here without incurring lots of charges.

Talk to him about alcohol use and the need to not binge. That's all you can do really.

Remind him to take condoms

It's great he is going away and also going out and about with friends, rather than online in his room.

You're bound to worry, we all do, but hundreds of thousands of teens go on hols like this and the vast majority return unscathed .... hungover, knackered and skint, with fab memories.

make sure he has decent insurance. Ds went at that age and spent more than he thought as drinks were expensive. He will have a great time!

To be honest I used to binge drink & get drunk far too much at home more than I did on holidays abroad...

Remind him that drinks can be stronger abroad.
Warn him about sunstroke & give him some sun lotion.
Also to get good holiday insurance.

Agree with pp about you taking time to do something else yourself so you can take your mind off him. That way you will both have a great time!

My mum was worried about my first girls holiday as I was a binge drinker but I turned out to be the sensible one on that holiday who looked after the others!!

I get it. It is new, age doesn't stop us from worrying about our children, I'm currently worried about my 30year old although I would not dream of letting anyone irl know.

Plus covid had stopped so many rites of passage, many still seem younger than 19.

Bank accounts. Starling or Monzo don't have fees. Since covid some places prefer card and the difference paying on card compared to cash is negligible. Make sure he does have some cash, there will also be a tourist tax to pay, get him to find out how much.

Talk to him honestly about drinking and the importance of eating, give him tips, drinking lager as suggested is a good one, but tell him to look out for the ABV% on any alcohol he drinks. Knowing how strong and making different choices helps, I still do it now, I choose the lowest % wine. He might not drink much anyway.
Talk to him about the dangers of water and alcohol, if he doesn't live near the sea in the UK Talk to him about general water dangers, the RNLI have some great resources.

Get him to check his phone contract and see what the charges are, sometimes you can buy a bolt on travel add on for one month.

Finally, you can't expect him to give you updates, be contactable to a schedule. He needs to spread his wings, does he use SM as this can be a way of seeing he is OK (every Insta using teen that I know has a page for everyone and a page where only friends can see, so it is sanitised information)

Has he got the EHCR card (or whatever it is called now E111 to old people) help him book his travel insurance, make sure it is a 5 star policy and includes repatriation.

Take a photo of his passport and make sure you and him have a copy, if it gets lost it is easier having all the details. Fill in the emergency details on the passport. Have the hotel details at home.

And be proud, you don't want him in his room for the rest of his life.

1. Most phone contracts these days have European roaming included, even after brexit, so get him to check that (I'm on o2 and mine does)

1. Tell him to get a monzo or starling account set up (you can do this online). This means you won't be charged for using the card abroad.

1. When he takes out holiday insurance, you can add on gadget cover, which is worth having.

1. Pack some condoms.

watching for good advice

Natural to worry and people are wrong when they say it’s regular drinkers who are at most risk in short term.
All the data shows that it’s the low/non drinkers who for whatever reason have a first binge who are at most risk of a one off event.
so I would be discussing not going mad, drinking slowly, choosing beer not shots, eating before drinking.

Same - my 18yo son going to zante in June..... it's stressing me out - but I can't stop him and just keeping my fingers crossed he comes back in one piece.....!!! So nervous.

If he’s anything like my DS when he went to Ibiza at 18, he will pack a highly optimistic amount of condoms off his own back 😄

I get it’s natural to worry but he is an adult after all. My DD first travelled abroad (completely solo) at 16, she was fine and has done it a couple of times since (18 now).

DS19 (also quiet and only recently discovered drinking) has done two lads trips, both fine apart from his apparent inability to use sun cream properly

It does get easier after the first time, now it just annoys me having to take them on the 3 hour round trip to the airport more than anything 😂

The biggest risk on that type of holiday is doing something stupid, like riding a moped without a helmet, jumping off something etc. Hopefully he’s been raised to be sensible and, just as importantly, stand up for himself against peer group pressure. If he’s not afraid to be the person who says ‘no, I’m not doing that’ in his group he’ll be fine. Teenage boys and alcohol is a potent combination.
For reference, I was travelling around Europe with a friend at 15/16, going to India on my own at 18 etc. So, it is time he found his feet.

You don't need advice, he's 19, cut the apron strings and let him sort himself out.
I've yet to meet a parent in RL like
you find in MN, scared to let adults go away alone, not allowing 16/17 yr olds any freedom, all very odd and not doing your kids any favours.

OP, it's only natural as a parent to worry, but at his age you need to let him sort the details out himself and just go and have a nice time. Zante is a lovely island, I'd be more than happy if my 20 year old DD went there. They might be out drinking sometimes, but if he doesn't drink much, he probably won't feel the need to keep up. It's part of growing up and if they're together, they'll be looking out for eachother.

Ah away with yer, parents never stop worrying. How they present themselves irl is different to how they put their fears on an anonymous forum.

The "firsts" are always tricky for the mothers! Especially when it only seems five minutes since you were dropping off at school for the first time!