Would you let this man do you a huge favour?

[DitherDother]

He's an aquaintance more than a friend although we have good friends in common and are often at the same events.

I need to travel home be train next Friday, which is a train strike day. It looks like there'll be some trains running but a reduced service with an early finish. All uncertain atm. I won't be able to travel early. The following day is also a strike with no trains at all on the line I need. I can't travel the day before.

He asked me about my trip and I said I'm looking forward to it but a bit worried about getting home. In my head my contingency is I'll have to find somewhere to stay until Sunday if it comes to it, but I'm not sure what Sunday trains will be like either. I need to be back at work on Monday.

Anyway, he's offered to come and pick me up if needed, a five hour round trip.

I like him he's an intelligent and interesting man. He can be a bit opinionated, but I don't dislike that, love a good debate with someone with strong opinions 😆 However, when he drinks he becomes obnoxious with his opinions and that is not pleasant. He drinks often, although he won't be drinking when he's driving, but for that reason I'm not "interested" in him iyswim.

I can't imagine he's only offered to do someone he barely knows a favour......

I'm hoping I won't need him, but if I do?

I'd take the offer if...
my gut radar is he's genuine simple nice guy
mutual friends vouch for him
I'd offered something, wine, whatever, as thank you, obvious that was my only form of thank you

There are genuinely nice people in the world. Most of them are nice, actually.

I think he's genuinely decent. I don't think for a minute I'd be in any danger, but I suspect he might have reasons other than just doing a nice thing and I don't have any interest in him. I don't want any misunderstandings or for him (or any of our mutual friends) to think I took advantage of him.

No one does a 5 hour round trip for an ‘acquaintance’.

I think that's probably your answer then op

could you just be blunt, and ask him if he has those hopes? while Explaining it's not remotely possible?

Guys are usually really good at direct questions & communication, they just assume they're red blooded males so of course they are opportunistic and they'd insult you if not wiling to be interested... but if you are straightforward that you don't want "those" expectations, they will believe you & want to be perfect gentlemen who respect your boundaries.

in my experience...

This. He fancies you and you're not interested. No from me.

Hell no. Book National Express.

This get an Uber

I've looked at National Express, they don't appear to run out of the town I'll be in or to my home town. I could get a taxi to the next large town and get to London but I'd still need to get out of London to home.

No I wouldn't accept such a big favour from an acquaintance. I'd feel indebted and uncomfortable.

That’s the kind of favour I’d accept from my husband and that’s about it. Maybe a good friend or family member if reason for trip was eg a dying relative. Not from acquaintances, it’s too big an ask unless he was driving that way anyway. It’s a weird thing to even offer.

I would avoid “needing him” - if you’re that worried you won’t be able to get back ok then don’t go.

That would mean cancelling a £2k holiday!

When you don't have a husband you do need a network in ways you'd never imagined when you were married. On a practical basis, not having someone to help with lifting things or to come and pick me up is one of the hardest things about being widowed. It's really surprising how many everyday things you automatically help each other out with when you have a partner.