Hearing the words "just wait" as a FTM

[SadAsHell]

I'm a first time mother, gave birth to my daughter last year and I've heard the words "just wait" repeatedly since I announced I was pregnant.

During pregnancy...
"just wait for the sleepless night"
"just wait for the boob engorgement"
"just wait for the endless peeing"
"just wait for the post partum poo"

Now that the baby is here...
"oh this stage is the easiest, just wait until (insert ANY stage above the one you are actually at)"
"just wait until they are teenagers, you won't sleep at all then"
"just wait until they are moving"
"just wait until they start school"
"just wait until you go back to work"
"just wait until you have two of them"....

It's endless!

Not once has it been said to me in a positive, exciting way, but ALWAYS in a tone that would put the fear of God into you, in a "you've no fucking idea how much harder it's about to get" tone....

I dont understand why..... Do they want to make other people terrified? Do they feel better about themselves for doing it? Are they jealous a person seemingly isn't hating a certain stage as much as they did? It baffles me! Has anyone else experienced the same?

I have a frenemy like this. She was the first in the group to have a child and she does this to everyone else. So bloody tedious. It's just a way for her to make the conversation about her (which is her aim in every single interaction on any subject) and also to give the air of someone who has sooo much more experience and knowledge than every other mother she knows.

At the end of the day, every baby is different. Any parent with multiple children can tell you that. And nobody is more of an expert on your children than you are, even if they've got 9 of their own. And every parent is different too. Just because their child did ABC and they felt XYZ about it, doesn't mean that your child will do the same or you will be affected in the same way by it.

I think it’s probably cos all the hard bits haven’t been talked about over the years leaving women feeling duped

I think some people like to feel like they’ve been through stuff that you haven’t so they feel superior. And it’s some weird thing that making others worry makes them happy. I don’t get it.

For what it’s worth, these terrible times have never arrived despite all the warnings. None of my kids were the greatest sleepers for a while, but it’s was fine. They’re mid teens to adults now and and the negative arseholes seem to have gone quiet because there’s been no big dramas here.

Just wait until the first toddler giggle - there is nothing so cute.

Just wait until you can shout “go back to sleep!” when they wake you up at 3am, and they actually do.

Just wait until they are FINALLY out of nappies and you can go out without a changing bag ever again.

Just wait until they can ski/swim/play football/whatever other activity you enjoy, with you.

Just wait until they read a whole book to you (book band books are short).

Just wait until they have a burning interest, say dinosaurs, and spend all day making you pretend to be a dinosaur trainer, complete with a script they have come up with that you have to memorise word for word, while they pretend to be Velociraptor Blue and jump on you… hang on maybe that isn’t the best example.

But all I got was about the hard times. One person, ONE, was positive about it all! Everyone else was so negative. Ironically everyone else went on to have more children and are now expecting 😂

Best just waits:
First smile, giggles, crawls, foods, sleeps through, stands, walks, climbs something you're not expecting, shoes etc, gets up to mischief etc.

Most 'Just waits' are the best thing ever OP.

Just wait until they start walking and wobble over to you with their arms wide open and the cutest smile on their face 🥹 absolutely melts my heart every time

The one that always got me is "just wait until they can walk, everything's waaaaay harder"

Our daughter has been walking for 3 months and almost everything is...er.....easier. She has her independence, we don't need to take the pram everywhere, she can fetch her favourite toys herself etc. etc. She knows when it's time to sit in the high chair and eat dinner.
Seriously ignore the 'just wait' brigade, they're just talking about their own experiences, which could be 20-30 years ago or 2 years ago and they have a bad memory.

@DinosApple and @acupofteamakeseverythingbetter all those are so lovely and so true!!

@Münchner we are at the crawling stage and I totally agree. It's great seeing them with a bit of independence and having her follow along behind me brings me such joy!! 🥰

Just wait until your 23 year old daughter has an email read out on national radio about "holding Mum's hand".....

Every stage of babyhood, childhood, teen and adult years has challenges and tricky corners.

For some (I realise not all ), the joys outweigh the challenges and it's just so sad that the "standard" response is to acknowledge the former.

Much like parents of twins must get pissed off with "double trouble"; surely "double joy" would be more affirming.

Just wait until they are teenagers...
tinkly laugh

Because they're generally tedious and bad conversationalists.

I had my husband's godmother crowing at me that "ooh, it will be heartburn next", when I was crippled with vomiting, and had had such a bad night sleep that I was practically horizontal on the sofa.

Well, maybe. Or maybe I'll get the rash. Or the gestational diabetes. Or the liver condition. All things my friends got without any heartburn.

It's the worst guessing game ever. The prize should be a punch in the face.

What happens then? Do they evolve into the spawn of Satan? 😝

Yes, @SadAsHell. It is decreed that parents don’t deserve sympathy, they deserve to be mocked for their naïveté at thinking they’ve achieved anything by keeping themselves and offspring alive for another 24 hours.

Keep going. I think the rule of thumb that meant the most to me (and we’ve had some shit times by anyone’s standards) is “it’s all a phase”. If you are having a rough time - don’t worry it will definitely get better. If you are having a fab time - don’t be smug, there are ups and downs for everyone.

I mean, it's not like you can shove em back in is it?! REALLY no point in telling you about gloomy things that may happen.

Are your friends/ family always so negative about everything?

Just wait until they are teenagers... and make the most delicious chocolate brownies 😋

Teenagers!

Just wait until you don't have to do the school run any more!
Just wait until he brings you a perfect cup of tea!
Just wait until he has a bunch of teenaged friends over for a sleepover and they are all impeccably polite and funny!
Just wait until he's taller than you but still wants a cuddle from his mumma!
Just wait until you tell him "goodnight love you" and he says "night, love you more" 💛

It’s because some tedious people like to try to stamp their ‘authority’ on a situation like parenthood, and undermine you at the same time.

It’s bollocks. Ignore them. Or, if you have a repeat offender, just look mockingly bemused and say “why do you always say things like that?”

Hopefully they’ll think about what they say and feel stupid.

Oh this!!!

Despite all the "just waits" I got, I have absolutely loved the teenage years with all of mine.
So many grim warnings from doomsters made me fear for what might lay ahead, but it was my favourite stage by a country mile.

Now that I'm thinking about it the majority of people who say it to me have more than one child so think I'll start asking them why they had more children if its so horrible 😂 I'm actually really happy I started this thread. Reading everyone's positive "just waits" has really made me feel better and given me a new perspective on the phrase I dreaded so much.