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Original poster

Wwyd

10 replies

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 22/05/2023 08:32

Received a text from mother of one of DDs friends yesterday evening about 7pm. I didn’t see message till nearly 10pm because had someone round for dinner. Message was asking me if it was correct that her DD had been with my DD at my ex s house at weekend? I knew my DD was away visiting friends so immediately thought somethings not right. Rang DD and asked what’s going on? DD said that friends mum doesn’t approve of boyfriend and so friend had made up story to go so she could stay with him. I asked what was the issue as friend is 19 and Mum has never struck me as the controlling type - quite the opposite. Was told there’s nothing wrong with him. WWYD? I texted mum and said I didn’t know as I hadn’t spoken to DD and ex at weekend and I asked if everything was ok? Was I wrong to do this - I feel bad. Dd said friend was back home with mum by the time I texted.

OP posts:
LIZS · 22/05/2023 09:13

Say sorry you can't confirm as dd is not with you.

Littlefish · 22/05/2023 09:34

One of my dd's friends used her as a cover several times (and therefore, our house). Dd hated it and told me about it.

I told dd that I wasn't prepared to be used as a lie, and nor should she be. I said that if the other girl's parent contacted me, I wouldn't lie.

This gave dd the courage to tell her friend never to do it again.

fruitbrewhaha · 22/05/2023 09:45

If the mum has not struck you as controlling then maybe she has good reason for wanting to keep her dd away from this boyfriend. Perhaps he is really bad news and she is very worried?

NapoliTutti · 22/05/2023 09:52

Yep, out her. There may well be very good reasons the mum is being lied to, perhaps doesnt approve of the relationship.

I wouldnt want to be caught up in that in anyway.

HerMammy · 22/05/2023 10:25

19? and mummy is checking her movements? have nothing to do with it.

Original poster
letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 22/05/2023 10:44

HerMammy · 22/05/2023 10:25

19? and mummy is checking her movements? have nothing to do with it.

With respect it doesn’t really matter what age you are - if there’s something concerning happening. It is more nuanced than that - knowing the people involved

OP posts:
Original poster
letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 22/05/2023 10:46

Littlefish · 22/05/2023 09:34

One of my dd's friends used her as a cover several times (and therefore, our house). Dd hated it and told me about it.

I told dd that I wasn't prepared to be used as a lie, and nor should she be. I said that if the other girl's parent contacted me, I wouldn't lie.

This gave dd the courage to tell her friend never to do it again.

Thankyou for that I agree totally - going to call the mum later for a chat and tell the truth.
as I said there has to be good reason for her to be worried and I would hate for anything to happen and would not want to be lied to myself as a mum

OP posts:
Original poster
letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 22/05/2023 10:47

NapoliTutti · 22/05/2023 09:52

Yep, out her. There may well be very good reasons the mum is being lied to, perhaps doesnt approve of the relationship.

I wouldnt want to be caught up in that in anyway.

100% agree

OP posts:
Original poster
letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 22/05/2023 10:47

fruitbrewhaha · 22/05/2023 09:45

If the mum has not struck you as controlling then maybe she has good reason for wanting to keep her dd away from this boyfriend. Perhaps he is really bad news and she is very worried?

Exactly

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 22/05/2023 10:48

I’d have just said I have no idea because they are adults .

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