If you allow sleepovers, what age did they start?

[Oysterbabe]

DD is 7 and Y2. She's been invited on a sleepover by a school friend. She's only ever had sleepovers at grandma's. She wants to go but I feel a bit nervous about it. They're a lovely family and I've met both parents plenty of times. She's been on play dates there.
I'm minded to let her go but be poised to go and collect her if necessary.

I forgot to add my daughter is 7.

DD was allowed at age nine. She’s shrewd and socially aware, so I reckon maybe not until they’re old enough that you can have a frank conversation about the risks, what should and shouldn’t be happening on sleepovers, and what would be an immediate ‘middle of the night phone-call’ problem, without it scaring them or them telling all the wee primary ones about molesters or whatever.

My parents didn’t allow me to stay overnight at anyone’s house as a child or adolescent, it caused me social problems, lots of friends couldn’t get their head round it and I was seen as really uncool. Also, I missed out big-time on bonding with my pals. My folks had similar fears to those alluded to here (abuse being largely unspoken but looming like Godzilla). They also tried to mitigate by hitting out with mad stuff like ‘their house might burn down while you’re in it.’

It pissed me off royally because it was so irrational (the car might crash while I’m in it, yet here I am on the motorway) and disproportionate to the risk. Statistically, it was highly unlikely every dad/brother was an abuser just waiting his chance with me, and all my pals’ loving, responsible mums didn’t seem too preoccupied by the idea they were blithely sending their daughters off to get molested of a Saturday night.

That said, I do totally sympathise with my parent’s fears (my job is related to child welfare and sadly sometimes criminal justice). Where we part company is that I have chosen not to centre those fears in the kids’ upbringing. I do ask a lot of questions before they go to someone’s house (and after they get home) and always meet the parents. I also make sure my kids know where they might be at risk, what’s not okay and that they can call/tell me anything, anytime, without fear of judgement or getting in any trouble. I do know bad stuff could still happen, but I can’t let that run me, or them.
So, fingers crossed.

Thanks all, it's helpful to hear different thoughts and experiences.
I'm very alive to the risks older brothers can pose, the first time I saw and touched a penis was at a sleepover aged 13 and was a friend's older brother. No older brother here.

Sounds like she's about the age when many children start. I'll probably let her go but be ready, willing and able to collect her at any point.

We don't allow sleepovers other than cousins as I feel it's a roll of the dice as to who is in the house that night and abusers are usually known to the family.

My son is in year 4 and we've hosted two sleepovers recently. He hasn't been to any yet. There's only a handful of his friends who's houses i'd be happy for him to stay at though.

I don't think it should be awkward to say that your child can't have a sleepover for the poster who mentioned it above. When I invited the other children I sent a message saying about the sleepover but if that they weren't able to attend the sleepover they were still very welcome for a play date that day anyway and could be collected when convenient for the parent. It stopped the child who wasn't allowed to stay over from feeling like it was my child who didn't want them there and also meant the parent didn't have to provide any excuse. They could just say that their child would attend for the play date only. They stayed until 10pm so didn't miss out on much anyway.