Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

Hen invite but not wedding

19 replies

Plunko · 22/05/2023 00:49

Just that really....is it common to be invited to a hen 'do' but not the wedding?

For context it's my cousins daughter who is getting married but she usually invites us to every other occasion.

OP posts:

kateislate · 22/05/2023 00:54

I don't think that's common. Well I've certainly never seen it happen anyway, but happy to be proved wrong

Anskl · 22/05/2023 01:01

If you're not even invited to the evening do, then I'd say that was unusual.

thedogisstaring · 22/05/2023 01:10

Very normal for stags not so much for hens. Do you know much about the wedding? Keeping numbers small but hen is a good reason just to have a good time with the girls? I wouldn't be too sensitive about it. If it's anything more than a night out just decline.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings

Moonchild18 · 22/05/2023 01:14

Are you invited to the wedding reception? I had friends at my hen do but not at the actual wedding but they was invited to the reception. We kept our numbers down to a minimum for the wedding due to cost.

fireflyloo · 22/05/2023 01:29

It's normal where I am. For example my sister invited me to her sister in laws hen party though I hadn't been invited to the wedding (it was abroad). I'd met her sil a few times so it seemed normal. I went and we all had a great time!

Poppyblush · 22/05/2023 05:22

Surely if you go to hen do you go to part of the wedding? Unless it’s overseas or tiny family only affair.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 22/05/2023 05:24

I wouldn't say it's common, people who are invited to the hen, are usually at least invited to the evening reception.

PuttingDownRoots · 22/05/2023 05:27

I think it depends on dynamics. Massive group of friends, small wedding... People appreciate the chance to celebrate.

Bigger weddings... People are more miffed.

And as mentioned, Stag do don't seem to come with this angst!

PrinceHaz · 22/05/2023 05:32

I would go to hen do if you think you would enjoy it but otherwise, decline.

EversoDisorganised · 22/05/2023 05:53

I have been to a few hen dos of colleagues without being invited to the weddings and agree with go if you will enjoy it / can afford it, otherwise give it a miss.

WandaWonder · 22/05/2023 06:23

I think it depends on a lot, if it was me and I wanted to go to the hen do i would go and be fine not being invited to the wedding

If I didn't want to go I wouldn't, I dont take an issue with it, though

MsWhitworth · 22/05/2023 06:45

Bad form. I wouldn’t go but others might not mind.

TheMeaningOfLife · 22/05/2023 07:12

I wouldn’t expect a wedding invite to a cousin’s daughter’s wedding, way too removed a relative unless you had a separate relationship with them. I would assume the hen do is an attempt to include you in some part of it as they can’t include you in the wedding for cost/numbers reasons which I think is fine, go if you want to, decline if not.

peachicecream · 22/05/2023 07:23

I went to a colleague's hen do without an invite to the wedding. Didn't think anything of it. The hen do was a night out at local bars but the wedding was a very special occasion that involved travelling to the other end of the country - would have been weird for me to go!

Overthebow · 22/05/2023 07:26

Depends how if the wedding is. If it’s a big 100 person wedding then I would be very put out. If it’s a small wedding then I think it’s pretty common as they may only be able to invite a small handful of friends to the wedding.

Original poster

Plunko · 22/05/2023 08:45

I'm going to go to the as it's a nice opportunity to see family I don't see too often (just due to us living further away now) and relatively low cost.

I'm not put out at no invite as I appreciate she's not a direct relative, so to speak, but I just thought it a bit odd!

OP posts:

Retire50 · 22/05/2023 08:47

I hate weddings anyway so if the Hen do was something I would enjoy I would still go if it was just a run of the mill pub/club thing I would decline.

2chocolateoranges · 22/05/2023 08:47

I would at least expect an evening invitation if I had been invited to the hen do,

IglesiasPiggl · 22/05/2023 08:52

I was once invited to a hen do but the wedding was way overseas so not invited to that. I would go if I wanted to and it was easy, but you could certainly decline if not.

Flip