Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Is there something about being in your 40s that makes the world harder?!

22 replies

Pinkest · 21/05/2023 19:55

I feel a mess. Crippling anxiety and sadness. A fear of the future for my children. Worry about my parents decline and eventual death. Don't know if this is hormones or just life but I can weep at the drop of a hat. Every day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 19:56

I'm 43 for context

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 21/05/2023 20:07

It's peri menopause op.

megletthesecond · 21/05/2023 20:08

Peri-menopause messing with your head.

HappyHippyChick · 21/05/2023 20:09

Definitely peri menopause. Please see a GP that specialises in women’s health if you can. I felt like this and HRT changed my life. Good luck

AliceOlive · 21/05/2023 20:09

It is really hard, though. Hang in there.

Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 20:12

Is it really? This early? Or is it just reality? Thanks all, I will go to the GP and ask. I thought I was too young

OP posts:
ReiterateOrganism · 21/05/2023 20:12

I’m the same. If you’ve got time, taking up a new hobby may give you something to focus on.

HappyHippyChick · 21/05/2023 20:13

Pinkest · 21/05/2023 20:12

Is it really? This early? Or is it just reality? Thanks all, I will go to the GP and ask. I thought I was too young

Yes, really 43 is about right sadly. Being a woman has some shitty bits!

Moredarkchocolateplease · 21/05/2023 20:14

It's peri meno.

I cried at absolutely anything and spent many rural dog walks just weeping.

Now on HRT and the estrogen is wonderful (though be careful as the wrong progesterone can make you feel like nothing is getting better!)

Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 20:15

ReiterateOrganism · 21/05/2023 20:12

I’m the same. If you’ve got time, taking up a new hobby may give you something to focus on.

Two young kids, that's all i do plus work full time

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 20:16

@Moredarkchocolateplease yes, the crying is uncontrollable! And sometimes unexpected

OP posts:
Creasedover382 · 21/05/2023 20:18

This was me last year at 41. I'm on escitaloprám now and feeling so much more like myself. Don't suffer in silence OP.

ReiterateOrganism · 21/05/2023 20:40

Pinkest · 21/05/2023 20:15

Two young kids, that's all i do plus work full time

Show quote history

I find audiobooks while getting dressed, falling asleep etc … quite good. It stops me thinking.

Teacakeorcrumpet · 21/05/2023 20:42

How do you know if you're in peri/menopause and its not something like anxiety or stress instead?

I feel the same OP and wish I could escape it but have no idea how.

TrustPenguins · 21/05/2023 20:42

Following with interest...

Twattergy · 21/05/2023 21:01

Yes this is peri, and for me it began at c 44. Hormonal fluctuations cause this and for me it was only this mental effect with no other physical effects. For first time in my life anxiety and sense of general doom. Hrt is taking the edge off although I think I need to adjust it to get it working better.

MirandaWest · 21/05/2023 21:05

I’m pretty sure my peri menopause started around then and manifested itself in a lot of anxiety. However I ended up needing anti depressants to to be able to carry on going and I am pretty sure if I had started taking HRT then it would have helped.

Started getting more physical signs of peri menopause two years ago when I was 45 and have been taking HRT since then. Now at 47 I have stopped taking anti depressants (cut down very gradually) and feel fine.

Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 21:05

Teacakeorcrumpet · 21/05/2023 20:42

How do you know if you're in peri/menopause and its not something like anxiety or stress instead?

I feel the same OP and wish I could escape it but have no idea how.

Yes, this is what I'm struggling to distinguish. I mean, the world is scary, it doesn't feel safe. How much is seeing what is reality and how much it obsessive worrying / abnormal anxiety?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 21:08

Thanks @MirandaWest - my instinct is to go for HRT
over anti ds, though GP has suggested latter in past

OP posts:
PinkyU · 21/05/2023 21:10

What are the things you’re crying at or feeling anxious about (also, how does that manifest)?

Its a fairly quick jump to peri menopause with no physical symptoms stated.

Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 21:22

It's like...I should be happy. Beautiful kids, all ok. But I have this overwhelming sense of dread, of bad things to come. I worry about the future in terms of the children, and also just about harm coming to them generally in a way that I can't dismiss. My parents are old, I know what this means. The world just feels painful, like it hurts. Like there's nothing but bad stuff coming towards me and mine.

Physically, I'm very tired. Frequent migraine. It's all work and managing the kids. No help so no breaks.
I expect the GP will say, oh you have young kids and a full time job so you're just tired. But it's like I can't find or appreciate the joy that I know is right in front of me. I just can't access it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkest · 21/05/2023 21:25

Periods 7-10 days, feel ok for about one week per month. Otherwise, I'm ovulating so in migraine territory, pre-menstrual so exhausted and headachey or bleeding heavily and feeling knackered / hungover (without drinking). Hideous brain fog. I've always been like this (lean PCOS) but it does feel worse.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page