Your best tips to not let yourself be completely overwhelmed by Life and it’s problems please?

[anewbook]

There’s a colleague at work who has been going through a tough time with the way her line manager has been treating her. HR have got involved and it has been a very stressful time for her. Despite that, she is able to put on a brave face, laugh and joke at lunchtimes etc and generally keep strong. I admire that strength.

I am struggling again with so many problems in every aspect of my life. I feel as though I am wrapped in a dark cloud and there’s no possibility to enjoy moments as I just feel so weighed down.

So, I’d love it if people could share their best strategies to not let yourself be completely devoured by life’s problems. Especially if you are someone like my colleague- how do you do it?

Things that usually help me:

• decluttering
• going for a walk
• journal

Interested in the “How not to give a f*” books but never read them.

What are yours?

Learning NOT to

@Fedupofdiets I’m so sorry for your loss.

I envy people with a faith, but I do sort of have a faith in the basic decency of most people, and in nature.

MN is quite a different place than when I first arrived (all fields round here, etc) but threads like these are heartwarming ❤️

@PtarmisanCheese Thank you - it really is as simple as that?! I will try again

@anewbook Meditation is always presented as very easy - I mean it is, but it’s still a skill that needs to be learnt.

Thoughts swirling round is normal, but if you set a small noise to bring your mind back to when you realise, and just keep doing that. For 20 minutes.

I set a goal to try it for at least two weeks then assess how it was going.

@PtarmisanCheese thank you for the links!!

It really is. It can take a few attempts to feel like you’re getting anywhere, but I find this sort of meditation far better than guided meditations.

I started practicing owning my emotions about ten years ago. I read an article that explained how people/events/situations don't make us angry/sad/upset. We choose to get angry/sad/upset as a response to things. Invariably it is a subconscious choice but it is still very much a choice and we can choose a different emotional response if we want to. It takes practice but I've become very proficient at it over time. When I feel myself going down the path of having a negative emotional response to something I catch myself and think through whether the negative emotional response I'm on the verge of will actually do anything to improve the situation. 99 times out of 100 the answer is no, the shitty situation will still be shitty, but now I'll be dealing with a shitty situation and also choosing to feel angry or stressed, so I choose not to have those negative feelings.

Sleep, time with people I love and perspective.

Also talking to people I trust others life's struggles and having a good laugh or cry about it all.

Getting cancer helps. It really brings things into perspective and helps you not sweat the small stuff.
Also gratitude for what you do have.

Give up alcohol.

If you have Netflix you can watch Not to give a f*uck film/interview with the author. I really enjoyed it.

I am currently watching another interview style program there. Jonah Hill talks to his psychiatrist Phil Stutz who explores his early life experiences and unique, visual model of therapy.
https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81387962

Stutz is a lovely film, I really enjoyed it.

A great thread, @anewbook , some fantastic contributions.
I agree with journalling - write down what's bothering you, if you can do something about it, try to solve the issue, if you can't, it's out of your control.
I agree with the pp, What's the worst that can happen ? I often say this.
@Fedupofdiets , sorry for your loss. Keep talking, keep sharing your memories and remember grief is the price we pay for love ❤️

Decluttering/tidying/cleaning
Walking my dog
Spending time outdoors with nature
Praying - I am deeply devoted to God and my faith gives me great comfort every single day.

@JimLaheysWhiskeyBottle - I love this! He's actually advocating something used in CBT therapy: using exposure ladders, you start where you can and then gradually climb up the ladder to reach your goal.

Lovely thread. I do box breathing quite a lot. I read The Daily Stoic and that's been helpful too.
A measure of rhythm in my daily life helps (i like to think of it as a daily rhythm rather than routine, but broadly similar) I find my natural tendency to procrastinate is tempered by keeping work areas (kitchen and office) clear.
With less procrastination comes better resilience, I'm finding. So that's my two penn'orth ☺

I'm going to try the meditation noise but I found this 'cheat' ? sheet helpful.

A traumatic event and the therapy that followed put life into perspective for me.
The worst already happened and nothing can be worse so why spend time worrying.

Thank you for sharing thst @daylilies I shall download it.

Exercise
Getting outside
Perspective (will this really matter in a year or even in a month?)
Spending time with animals
Lots of sleep

Yoga worked well for me

I've always changed jobs/retrained/went up or down work hours as needed. I know it's not always possible, but I've always been pretty active in at least asking/researching if it is. I think that helps with feeling in control of a situation/not stuck...eg. I want to do X, it might be possible in a year when DC goes to school etc.

(I also have a faith, it helped when my grandma died recently, and day to day I like feeling/being part of a community).

Great thread!

Amazing thread ❤️