My daughter won't eat what's offered

[Foody23]

We had Moroccan lamb for dinner tonight dd who is 12 dud not want any .

In my freezer I have : fish fingers, sausage rolls , chicken nuggets, sausages, pizza , mash potato, chicken burgers beef burgers. Chips veg

In my cupboard/fridge have pasta and sauces. Bread , eggs, bacon, ham.instsnt noodles.

I know its all processed shit. But I do have things like fresh chicken, lamb beef, beef mince. Which are for when I do the family meal the freezer stuff is there for a back up for If kids don't want/like what I have cooker.

But I named all the above to dd and she said no to everything She says she hungry has not eaten since lunch time. In the end I told her then there's nothing I can do. And I told her to go away. Now I feel shit and guilty like I'm neglecting her.

At 12 mine could state her own preference and cook it herself. All that offering might have overwhelmed her.

Did she have any suggestions?

Is this a new thing? Does she normally eat what you cook?
Is there something else going on?
If it's a one off I'd just leave it. She knows where the kitchen is. If this is a regular problem then you might need to dig a little deeper.

Well presumably she can make some toast or something in a bit? Nobody died, relax,

When my 11 year old does that she's usually angling for McDonald's.

I just tell her if she doesn't want anything I offered she can go sort herself out. And she does.

Sometimes she'll make noodles, sometimes a salad, occasionally just a tin of tuna. She doesn't starve.

It felt like a lot to take in just reading, and I struggled to put much of it together as a meal (I am autistic though, I mean it was a lot to process in my mind) Is it possible your daughter felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of options as well and it was easier for her to say no to it all?
Or as someone else has suggested is she angling for a takeaway cos my children absolutely do that now and again!
Take a few deep calming breaths. Go and see her, suggest maybe some toast for the moment and assure her she can have something if she's hungry. Go from there.

In our house there is always toast and fruit.

No one ever goes hungry, it's not on.

But also it is not a restaurant.

This house if you don't want what's on offer you sort yourself or go without.
We gave 2 full freezers with everything you can think of. One being more convenient freezer food.

If not toast or cereal. Its not a cafe.

Eldest often has cereal or crackers. Because they don't fancy what ive cooked despite meal planning and them taking part in it they still decide on the day not to want it.

Ask what she wants. Get her to list what she wants to have dinners.

There's plenty of food in the house and she can make herself any out of what sounds like lots of options.

I would also have told her to go away. Or alternatively, if you want to be nice, "DD, I'm sorry you're hungry but at this point I'm really not sure what you want me to do for you. And you're blocking the TV, so if you don't mind..."

Telling someone to go away is rude though.
If your partner told you to go away you'd fee like shit.
If it's a new thing with her, I'd wonder what's going on. If someone is stressed and the are picky eaters then it's harder for them to eat unusual food.

She’ll make herself a sandwich if she’s hungry. I wouldn’t worry about it.

If you think something is going on, make her a sandwich you know she likes and take it to her and try and chat.

I know it wasn't nice of me to say that but she was very attitudey with me . And I literally pulled the hole freezer out .

It's not really new. I just had enough. I can even let her choose things when I do the shop and she just says she don't know.

I wouldn’t have told her to go away, but I also wouldn’t have offered the menu. I’m not one of these ‘eat what is offered’ type of parents, but my kids know that if they don’t like whatever is for dinner they can make eggs or cheese on toast or a sandwich or whatever else they want and I’m fine with that.

Telling her to go away is rude. She’ll be
fine. If she’s hungry she can make some toast. I wouldn’t have offered all those things. If one off, Move on. Otherwise why not getting her involved in meal planning and cooking

Actually she did ask for mcdonalds so that's probably it. I said no . She she's probably hoping I might cave in if she has not eaten. But I won't.

And if she's that hungry she will find something.

I don't feel so bad now to be honest. I think I was just having a guilt moment for nothing really. At the end of the day there food I'm the house.

Tell her it's the family dinner, toast or fruit.

Then go put the tele on and sit down

In my house children eat what they are given. They might be offered a choice but basically eat or go hungry.