Introvert but lonely, how do I meet people?

[Mummyoftwokids]

At the risk of sounding pathetic.. I need friends.

I tend to keep a very small circle of people who don’t actually drain my energy but hardly ever see them.

Even though I’m mostly an introvert, I really miss having company. I’m married but he is at work all day. I have a casual work from home job but that can be very isolating too. I would like a better job but I have social anxiety and it’s more a struggle than just working from home.

How can I meet people? I’m sure everyone here is lovely but probably live nowhere near us anyway! I love what’s app group chats. I don’t feel nervous online but again, it’s not helping me get out there.

I hope you are feeling a little better about your situation op. Have you managed to widen your social circle? I’m in the same boat and it’s a sad place to be. I have not managed to hang on to one friend that I made since leaving school, even them I only see once a year. I wish I could just disappear all together

Social anxiety is not a thing - it just means you’re a bit shy.
get a proper job and you’ll meet people.
Go outside your comfort zone

Jesus this is patronising!

Bloody hell, you think social anxiety doesn't exist?! Tell that to the thousands of people living with it...not to mention the psychologists and therapists employed to treat it.

Absolutely. Maybe if everyone posts their area?
I am introverted but not shy. I just feel drained easily and also have the thing of cancelling if I don’t feel up to it. I make lots of plans when I’m feeling positive, then cancel them when it comes to it because I’m not feeling I have the impetus to do it. I’ve joined a pottery class but even the thought of having to go every week is a pressure. The less I do the less I want to do, but I’m also lonely .Its a conundrum.

I'm south east England too! East Anglia. I'm 37.

I relate to this massively OP. I have done so many group courses as advised but the same ineptness that made be loose/not make friends follows me there too and while i have a nice time everyone just leaves at the end and nothing comes of it usually.

I have joined a writing workshop which i have hopes for, its a specialist one, most of us are writing in a particular genre (fantasy/scifi) which is helping i think. I have been in more literary groups before and (as bloody usual) had to suppress my natural self to 'fit in'. My new group, i can be as weird as i like and my writing as seriously improved.

I also am conscious that I need to be more overt with finding friends. Ultimately i'm lazy and want someone to just like me and for us to just click. It never really occurs to me to ask someone out for coffee and I'm so worried about putting a foot wrong or coming on too strong that I withdraw rather then work on the friendship. Its a work in progress.

RE shyness vs Introversion. For me my shyness was a symptom of introversion. I learned that when I spoke I usually said the wrong thing so I learned to not say anything and be wary of others and their reaction. I'm probably ND and i do think NT people are instinctively wary of ND people and they can keep their distance unconsciously.

Ah, its a zombie thread, never mind!