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Original poster

Where do you take your 12 year old to play that doesn't cost the earth?

26 replies

elliejjtiny · 18/05/2023 17:11

And is it still ok to take them to the park?

Ds is 12 and has ADHD. He is shortish (about 1.45m) so I can just about get away with taking him to soft play but I'm assuming not for much longer. When we go to the park he wants to go on the roundabout etc really fast. I always tell him to wait if there are other children on it and don't let him go on the stuff for little ones but if he is on something like the roundabout and a toddler wants to have a go they will have to wait a bit and most parents sigh and mutter about older children being "rough" and ruining it for little ones. Ds isn't pushing anyone around and cheerfully takes turns etc but it's not safe for him and a toddler to enjoy some of the equipment at the same time. Is that ok or is he now of the age where it's unacceptable for him to play at the park? I'm not sure where he is meant to play if he can't go to the park or soft play. I know there are trampoline parks but they cost £12 for an hour and ds has endless energy.

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 18/05/2023 17:16

Are there any after school clubs he can join? Football or swimming or something? Otherwise invite a friend around to keep him company. He does sound a bit old for the park to be honest

ThisMustBeMyDream · 18/05/2023 17:18

Of course he isn't too old for the park. Anyone of any age can play in the park. There are no limits. Other parents are idiots.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 18/05/2023 17:19

There are adventure playgrounds for older children, although you may need to travel further. Obstacle courses and those public gym things are also good. And I suppose by that age you can hopefully wean them onto some sport that will exercise and occupy them.

He would fit in really well in the playground here - the kids are never happier than when the roundabout looks like it's about the take off, with children flying off it like pinballs. There are plenty of 12 year old in the playground, usually 8 of them crammed into the basket swing all staring at their phones.

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Notsure94 · 18/05/2023 17:24

Swimming Pool? At 12 he could go by himself or with a mate. I sometimes go with my 13 year old and use the gym whilst he has a splash around. Skatepark if he has a scooter or skateboard. A mooch around the shops can be interesting including a bookshop even if they're not into reading they usually have a comic section.

I can't imagine mine wanting to go to soft play or the swing type parks at that age.

What about air cadets/fire cadets/sea cadets/army cadets - they'll wear him out and they get to do stuff that the scouts don't.

Danikm151 · 18/05/2023 17:26

We have an adventure playground nearby that is free… they just ask for a donation towards costs if you can.
ages from 1-17
Look up community projects nearby to see if there is one.
Is there a skatepark near you. That’s a great way of burning energy

ThisMustBeMyDream · 18/05/2023 17:28

Notsure94 · 18/05/2023 17:24

Swimming Pool? At 12 he could go by himself or with a mate. I sometimes go with my 13 year old and use the gym whilst he has a splash around. Skatepark if he has a scooter or skateboard. A mooch around the shops can be interesting including a bookshop even if they're not into reading they usually have a comic section.

I can't imagine mine wanting to go to soft play or the swing type parks at that age.

What about air cadets/fire cadets/sea cadets/army cadets - they'll wear him out and they get to do stuff that the scouts don't.

That's great for your NT family.
This OP has a child with ADHD so your post is wholly unhelpful.

drawingmaps · 18/05/2023 17:39

Only thing I can suggest is trying to work out when the quietest times are - maybe after little kids' bedtimes?
I'm autistic and ADHD (and an adult, obviously) and I go to the swings sometimes for some sensory regulation. Because of our disabilities, we need that movement and sensory input for years after non-disabled kids grow out of it. I go to the big kids' area during school hours so nobody is there, but that's obviously no good when he's in school.

gogohmm · 18/05/2023 17:41

@ThisMustBeMyDream

My dsd has adhd and did these things as a teen, why aren't they helpful?

Look for adventure playgrounds, we had one where I lived with my children and it would be perfect for him. Also think about community sports orgs that cater to all, uniformed orgs (different branches may be more receptive to additional needs, they are volunteer run so not all are as welcoming in my experience). My asd dd loved orienteering, lots of energy expended and brain used

liveforsummer · 18/05/2023 17:43

@ThisMustBeMyDream why can't OPs ds enjoy skate park, swimming or cadets because he had ADHD?

Whaleandsnail6 · 18/05/2023 17:50

Of course he can use the park. Its a public place for all to enjoy, as long as they are considerate to others, which it sounds like your son is. Let him crack on if he enjoys it.

Jules912 · 18/05/2023 17:55

The playgrounds in my area have a sign up saying they're for under 12s but quite often see teenagers there. No one minds so long as they're not hogging the equipment.

AlltheFs · 18/05/2023 17:56

Depends on your soft play, my friend took her DS well in to his late teens, he had many disabilities and the staff there knew them both well. She went when it was quieter though so he could use the equipment without disturbing little ones and they had SEND sessions.

Parks are for all, as long as not going to damage the equipment eg teens on a toddler swing. I love a go on the swings at 45.

Itcouldhappenabishop · 18/05/2023 18:01

Park is fine if he enjoys it and isn't using the stuff for littler kids. Agree that adventure type playgrounds, with zip wires etc are probably more suitable though.
I would have said he is far too old for soft play! All our local ones are for under 5s! How does he even fit in the slides? Am I thinking of the right thing?
My 10 yr old likes going to the bmx track in our local park, it's free and good exercise.

Fandabedodgy · 18/05/2023 18:02

My two (10 and 14) both do various extra circular activities (Scouts, football, swimming etc) but I haven't taken either of them out 'to play' for quite a few years now.

When they want to play they just go out with their friends - to the park, on bikes, swimming, the cinema, the shops etc.

redskylight · 18/05/2023 18:04

Would he enjoy just going to a wooded area and climbing trees/making dens/ creating obstacle courses? That's what my DC moved onto once they'd outgrown our local playground.

Dungaree · 18/05/2023 18:11

12 is fine for the park. I have a 13 year old who will happily play at the park with my other DC. Parks are not just for preschoolers. They are for all children.

ichundich · 18/05/2023 18:12

Swimming, climbing wall, go for a walk / bike ride, skatepark, play football in the park?

Mariposista · 18/05/2023 18:31

Some gyms have special sessions or classes for 12-15 year olds, supervised by instructors. Good way to keep them fit and active.

caringcarer · 18/05/2023 18:37

We have a bike bmx park and a pleasure grounds with free table tennis, you bring your own bats and ping pong ball, lots of climbing areas and a skate park. All of the above is free. The tennis court only charges a nominal fee. You take your own rackets and balls. Swimming only cost £3.65 for under 16's for an hour and they have huge inflatable fun sessions for the same price at different times, but every day in school holidays. Junior Park Run is free and is a run of 2km.

Original poster
elliejjtiny · 18/05/2023 20:21

Thank you everyone. He does do various sports/activities but he prefers less structured playing. I hadn't thought of the gym but he likes the outdoor gym equipment at the park so I will have a look at that and junior park run too. I can't let him go anywhere unsupervised yet because he wanders off/loses his phone etc.

OP posts:
grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 18/05/2023 20:28

Our local park has the sign that says it's for under 12. So, I think it's not fair if there are other children who are within age range waiting when he is older. But young children tend to go home early, so I think there's nothing wrong in using the park when no other children are around, like slightly later in the evening.

SweetSakura · 18/05/2023 20:39

Are there places where he could just climb trees/scramble /play frisbee etc?

Or I take my 12 year olds rock climbing /bouldering at indoor climbing centres a lot. Properly wears them out and the instructors are very lively

Swimming pools especially the ones with slides or inflatable obstacle courses

SweetSakura · 18/05/2023 20:40

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 18/05/2023 20:28

Our local park has the sign that says it's for under 12. So, I think it's not fair if there are other children who are within age range waiting when he is older. But young children tend to go home early, so I think there's nothing wrong in using the park when no other children are around, like slightly later in the evening.

Yes mine do this too

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 18/05/2023 21:07

Parks should be for all ages, our local one certainly is. There is a bike path for bmx bikes, the older ones supervise it and stop all the older traffic every so often so the littlest ones can go round on their scooters, and cheer them on!
Equally they play on all the equipment til well in their teens.

HippyChickMama · 18/05/2023 21:14

Do you have somewhere near you with a splash pad? My ds is a teen but has some additional needs and is emotionally younger, he's also unable to do some physical things because of his motor skills (can't ride a bike or climb for example). In the summer we often go to a park with a free splash pad, there are children and teens of all ages there and he loves running around in the water with his younger sister

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