My feed

to access all these features

Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum.


How do I tell colleague not to go for job I'm applying for?

70 replies

Funkyslippers · 18/05/2023 16:48

I'm applying for a job and they invited me to the open day for a tour & informal chat. I was looking up where they are based and realised they are within walking distance of where I live. I was quite taken aback as I thought they were further away so I told a colleague (and friend) about it, mainly in passing. She's also told me about other jobs she's gone for. After the tour I texted her 'just incase you're interested, the company is really good etc' as I thought she'd like to know how I got on. She then said it sounded great and checked the name of the company with me. I now realise that because I put 'incase you're interested' she now thinks I'm telling her that she should apply too! How do I gently tell her that wasn't what I meant and I'd rather she didn't apply too! She wouldn't have known about it if I hadn't told her

OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/05/2023 18:39

Funkyslippers · 18/05/2023 16:56

Yeah but she wouldn't have been interested if I hadn't said 'incase you're interested'. She hasn't said she's applying but the fact she checked the company's name makes me think she might!

How do you know she wouldn't have been interested? Regardless, she can apply for whatever job she wants, you don't hold the monopoly in job applications ffs.

Quveas · 18/05/2023 18:43

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 18/05/2023 17:03

You can't do that. Well you can, but you'll sound and look like a twat and there's no guarantee she'll actually listen.

You created this whole situation so you need to suck it up and cross your fingers she's not actually interested in the same job at this particular time.

Just to say - the OP won't "sound like a twat". They will be a twat.

Confusing a good working relationship with a colleague and friendship is always a mistake. If they are really a friend you'd accept that it's hard, but the best person wins and no hard feelings - no matter what, real friends are forged in difficulties and survive them too. Real friends are also rare. Next time you want a job, don't tell anyone!

Haywirecity · 18/05/2023 18:45

ididntknowthat11 · 18/05/2023 17:24

So what did you mean by "in case you're interested"?

The only meaning I can infer is "in case you're interested in working here"


I took it to mean "in case you're interested how my day went." Not "in case you're interested in applying".
I'd think it was bad form to apply for a job that a friend was going for when I only knew about it through her. A bit like I wouldn't try to buy a house out from under a friend if she was the one to show it to me.

Irritateandunreasonable · 18/05/2023 18:47

🤣🤣🤣 omg you can’t!!

I guess it’s you against her now - just take it as a learning curve.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 18/05/2023 18:47

Mate, as everyone has said; you can’t.

Imagine if you say something, she (rightly) ignores you and gets the job. Then, months down the line you see they’ve another suitable role. You’d be buggered!

Time to brush up on those interview skills and for future, remember the first rule of interview club is there is no interview club!

Modda · 18/05/2023 20:16

You can't!

Tinkerbyebye · 18/05/2023 20:29

You can’t you made a mistake and have to live with it

Newestname002 · 18/05/2023 21:48

Shot yourself in the foot there a bit, OP. You can't tell her not to apply now - just ensure you do a better job in preparing for the interview and don't share/be very vague about what you're doing job wise. 🌹

Dacadactyl · 18/05/2023 21:51

Yeah you can tell her not to go for it. I always keep my cards CLOSE to my chest when I'm applying for jobs.

purplecorkheart · 18/05/2023 21:57

Sorry but if you used the word 'in case you are interested what did you think what meaning she would take from it.

Surely, Hi, I got on great today at visiting the place I am going for interview etc.

Sorry but I cannot blame her from reading your message as a suggestion to also apply.

And no way can you tell her not to apply for the job. Being harsh I think you need to cop on a bit and not be so naive

caringcarer · 18/05/2023 22:03

You can't. You made a mistake you won't do it again.

Hollyppp · 18/05/2023 22:29

You can’t…

LaPerduta · 19/05/2023 00:07

Sorry to be a twat, but there's no such word as "incase"...

peachicecream · 19/05/2023 06:44

Funkyslippers · 18/05/2023 16:56

Yeah but she wouldn't have been interested if I hadn't said 'incase you're interested'. She hasn't said she's applying but the fact she checked the company's name makes me think she might!

It really doesn't matter @Funkyslippers You can't whine "but that's not fair!" just because you told her about it. That would be extremely immature of you. It does not matter that she only knows because you told her about it.

Just learn from it and don't tell people about jobs in future.

xsquared · 19/05/2023 09:03

If you think you're the best candidate for the job, it doesn't matter if she applies.

It would be awkward of course, if one of you gets it, but I think that ship has sailed.

Bluevelvetsofa · 19/05/2023 09:34

Well, you can apply and she can apply. Lots of other people can apply.

You might get an interview, so might she and so might others.

Only one person will get the job and it might not be either of you.

ChocChipHandbag · 19/05/2023 09:47

You know in the interview when they ask questions like "tell us about when you made a mistake and how you dealt with it..."

You've got a great example now!

Aquamarine1029 · 19/05/2023 09:50

You all but invited her to apply. Can you really not see this?

NotAHouse · 19/05/2023 09:51

Lot of young'uns around this week who should be studying, I reckon...

GOW56 · 19/05/2023 09:56

You can't tell her not to apply. It's up to her. Anyone can apply for any job.
The in case you're interested dies sounds as though you are encouraging her. It's an odd thing to say if you weren't. But it's too late to say anything now. If she wants to apply for it she will.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.