Has anyone lost a friend to conspiracy theories?

[MerryPerry88]

....and what was the outcome? The covid pandemic really did a number on a close friend of mine....and anxiety fulled paranoia has meant that they have gone down a rabbit warren of conspiracy theories. It started off with the Great Reset stuff, but now has gone full blown into Chem trails, Flat Earth, Royal Family are lizards...you name it. They have pushed everyone away with how aggressively they air their views, and cannot be reasoned with at all. They are still holding down a responsible job, but colleagues have been making comments, as they air their views forcibly at work. My partner does not want to see this friend anymore, as their views have also gone into right wing US republican territory. I'm also good friends with this friends partner, and our children are all friends. It's such a sad situation as our friendship has gone down the pan. I'm still meeting up with friends partner and the kids, but it feels awkward. The partner to some extent is pandering to a lot of these views. I don't know how to put it nicely but they are a bit of a push over and have put up with a lot in the past from this friend. Sorry there's probably a lot of background stuff I've missed out....I guess I'm interested to hear from people that have experienced the same, and whether friendships have ever recovered. I'm struggling to see how we can repair things unless they have a massive reality check, but I'm not sure how that is going to come about so feeling a bit hopeless.

No @teaandtoastwithmarmite it was certainly not your fault your friend went off the deep end and ruined your relationship with her. It's sad but don't reproach yourself.

I agree @Vroomfondleswaistcoat that wanting to imagine someone is in control is very important. Even if the someone is a cartoon villain in a hollowed out volcano. I was an early adopter of conspiracy stuff. And general occult weirdness , since stumbling on a book called the Cathars and Reincarnation way back in the 60s. Then The Holy Blood etc.

But I didn't take it literally. More that I sort of wanted it to be true? And found it comforting. Perhaps it helps fill the 'God shaped whole' as Jung called it. The difference is the old theories were pretty harmless. But blaming Soros or the Clintons for all the world's ills is very dangerous. Nancy Pelosi's husband could have died in that assault for example.

I don’t have anyone like this close to me but I’m a magnet for them in the wild, there must be some tips for handling these conversations?

I lost my mum and 2 brothers to conspiracy theories. They stopped talking to me at the beginning of covid because I had covid and they didn't believe in it.

@Tdcp sounds awful! a family member of mine went full conspiracy theory batshit. I do attribute it at least in part to a mental illness though. It's like a bereavement when you go through it.

what was your relationship like prior to all of this?

I want to know more about the Britney Spears thing

Gosh it’s sad reading so so many stories of how these conspiracies are literally consuming people and wrecking long standing relationships.

I came to the sad conclusion that some people that I had previously considered to be friends would be almost gleeful if I had a heart attack/blood clot or anything that they could attribute to the vaccine. They would love thinking “I told you so” and feeling like their opinions were justified. I can’t consider somebody like that a true friend.

I also think it’s terrifying that Robert Kennedy junior (a prolific peddler of conspiracy theories and anti vaccine propaganda) is trying to run for US president.

There is a subreddit for people like you r/QAnonCasualties

The US elections are a worry whether or not Trump becomes the Republican candidate or not.

^The spy cops scandal that broke over the last few years - look up Mark Kennedy for instance.

The police used the identities of dead babies to create fake activist personas for their undercover agents. Some were embedded in peaceful environmental movements for years. One had a baby with a female activist, and so her kid's dad doesn't actually exist.

Some of the victims tried to get the police prosecuted for rape, as they never would have slept with those men if they had known they were cops. Their bid failed, unsurprisingly. The cops in question were paid around £250,000 a year to do all this.^

I read the book by the women. Absolutely chilling.

DEEP DECEPTION – The story of the spycops network by Helen, Belinda, Lisa, Alison and Naomi. – Police Spies Out of Lives

Yes I lost a friend who stopped speaking to me when I was vaccinated (I was being treated for cancer at the time). She also tried to tell me that the treatment I was having was more likely to kill me than the cancer 🙄. She advised I ate plants instead. Very helpful. Her FB page became one big conspiracy theory and I know she lost a lot of friends. It's very sad.

There have TikTokkers saying that the videos released of Britney dancing aren't in fact Britney at all, and that you can see the filter glitch when they're slowed down. I think that's what's being referred to.

I highly recommend listening to The Infinite Monkey Cage podcast episode on conspiracy theories which discusses how/why people fall for them and also if it is possible to bring someone out of it.

The Infinite Monkey Cage - Series 21 - Conspiracy Theories - BBC Sounds

Also the book The Irrational Ape, by Robert David Grimes (who appears on the above podcast) is a great read about how people end up following conspiracies and the importance of education and teaching critical thinking.

Sorry, the book is by David Robert Grimes!

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44584488

I had a work colleague who became a Jehovah's WItness. When She walked into the staffroom an embarrassed hush settled over everyone, in case she started proselytising.

A lovely intelligent female friend was/is convinced that the jab had monkey DNA in it.

I have one like that.... very sad.

Sorry to interrupt, what is NWO? Google is not being very helpful.

New World Order.

It's the 'you will own nothing and be happy' idea; the website I saw had happy people with the fixed unnerving wide smiles of the people who used to accost you at LA airport. When I was on Twitter and bored I used to ask them how it would work when everyone owned nothing and apparently we'd rent everything, even underpants. It usually took about five messages before I was told to a) educate myself b) watch this YT vid or c) was blocked. The proponents of this really don't like people drilling down into the detail of how it was going to work.

Oddly, it seems that intelligent people have more mental equipment they can use to delude themselves.

Oddly, it seems that intelligent people have more mental equipment they can use to delude themselves

I think one of the issues my friend has is that she doesn't seem very happy with her life. When we meet up I always get complaints about where she lives, workmates and how stupid they are, arguments she's had with her DH, how her siblings are going to have to have therapy for their children due to how they've isolated them during covid and made them fearful (altho she might have a point with that one). Her latest worry is being menopausal and all the scare stories about how awful it's going to be.

Not great. Mum was emotionally abusive to me at best. She moved us all 200+miles from anyone we knew for a party lifestyle, one where I was the parent to my brothers at 11. My brothers still live with her (33 and 27) and do everything she says. I tried to make her like me my entire life. Things are better now :)

@Hawkins0001

But then which is more important to you, hearing what they want to discuss and having a relationship with them, or just shutting them off ?

I think this shows some real naivety and perhaps that you haven't had contact with people who are very far down the line with a conspiracy theory/ QAnon,

You can't just listen and hear them. They will not agree to disagree. They will not discuss in a calm and measured manner.

Nothing less than total acceptance of the theory they believe is acceptable to them. That's why it's often impossible to maintain a relationship with them. There is no option to ignore a particular topic / agree to disagree.

So every discussion escalates into a rant with the aim of you conceding that they are right and you have been a fool / blinded by the MSM etc.

Bertrand Russell said 'If people can't find good reasons for believing what they want to believe, they'll make do with bad ones'.

This is my experience of communications with this friend...100%. It's become impossible. My hope is to prevent the partner going down the same rabbit hole, so I'm looking for some appropriate resources to send her way. I'm not sure how well this will go down but feel I have to try.

I've not lost anyone but I'm guilty of letting conspiracy theories get to me, usually health-related ones.

I am a huge hypochondriac; all of the 'COVID jabs are killing people' rhetoric going around on social media does affect me. I'm ashamed to admit it. Logically, yes, I know it's stupid and I don't believe in anything wackier than that (e.g. reptilians).